For the big #400, I thought I'd put into words how much I love M 'n' m. I'm grateful. We're all grateful for certain people in our lives. They're gifts. Life itself is a gift, it seems to me, despite it's challenges, which can be merciless, but life actualizes as a gift, independent of its highs and lows, precisely when we love. That's it. When we love. That's my opinion anyway. Being loved back is swell too, but out of our control. There's something suspicious, however, about the circular or reciprocal nature of most genuine love. But the world gets ugly sometimes. I know that, and so do you. I promised to describe how much I love M 'n' m and, well, I can't, no surprise, but neither, perfectly, can Fitzgerald or Melville, or the Irish or Russian masters, or the poets, Shakespeare, Homer, Rumi, Rilke. I think this chase is why they kept writing and writing and thank God they did; they weren't lousy like some of us. My favorite contemporary writers – Michael Chabon, Mark Helprin, Maria Popova, to name a few – aren't lousy either. They're brilliant and inventive describers of things, but otherwise a lot like the rest of us. Capturing a thing in words and phrases is hard. It's analogous to the difficulty of hitting a baseball to me, and pitching a baseball, because there are so many variables, moving parts, choices, and outcomes, for the pitcher and the batter both, as for the writer and reader both. But we can tell when it goes well and when it doesn't. I think of Twain's saying: "The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter – it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning."
I love M 'n' m and I'm very grateful for them.
Sunday, September 9, 2018
Retro M 'n' m – 2008 – #4
February 2008
Megan is so sweet. If she drops something, she says, "Sowwy, Dad," and if I drop something, she says, "It's okay, Dad." She's in a sweet-spot of cuteness right now, just a few feet tall and putting sentences together in her adorable voice. Of course, sometimes she says, "Go away, Daddy" and that's not nice.
Michael doesn't like to have his toenails trimmed. Today, he said, "Trimming is ridiculous. Trimming is NOT part of this world!" We all cope in different ways.
The other day, Michael was drawing on his whiteboard and told me, "Daddy, I'm drawing Jupiter's moon. It has a lot of volcanoes on it." Interesting, I didn't know that. To date, around 700 species of dinosaurs have been named. I'm pretty sure Michael can spout facts about most of them, and pronounce them too, which is no small feat since many have names like Pachycephalasaurus, Deinonychus, Sinosauropteryx, and so on.
March 2008
The house is empty. No kids. The difference, of course, is striking. Less noise, fewer dishes, no diapers, no schedule, no bathes and bedtimes, no kid shows, no Lego-playing, we eat whenever we want, we come and go as we please. It's a freedom I can't believe I ever possessed before in this lifetime, before M 'n' m.
At the Sea Life Minnesota Aquarium at the Mall of America, Alissa – my sweet little niece, although she's bigger than Ellie, my other sweet little niece – asked me to read a sign to her. So I read aloud, "There are less than 100 shark attacks worldwide each year, and only 10 of those are fatal." I should've ad-libbed or omitted or substituted something more cheery at the end, because Alissa asked, "What does 'fatal' mean?" I said, "Oh, um, that just means they got hurt a little worse than the others."
I was talking with Michael and used the word 'intense.' I was probably reacting to a dinosaur story-fact he was sharing with me. He asked, "What does 'intense' mean?" I told him, "Very serious." He said, "Well, what does 'serious' mean?" And so it goes. I love it. I'm happy he keeps asking; I'm happy he wants to learn, especially about words. I'd say words are pretty important. I love words. I love Michael.
I wish Michael didn't, like, become physically ill every time we make him share toys with Megan. When Michael was a toddler at the hospital with newly born Megan, and everyone was fawning over her, I'll never forget Michael asking us to 'put her away,' and then, when it was time to bring her home, politely asking if we could leave her at the hospital.
Today Megan wiped at her nose several times and declared, "I got da booga, Daddy, I got da booga!" She was excited, and I know the feeling; clear nasal passages are paramount to refreshing, deep breaths, and it's with similar pride, urgency, and disregard for propriety that I undertake to clear my own nasal passages. Of course, Megan didn't have a Kleenex. So her booger is probably a crispy critter stuck to our couch now.
April 2008
I'm not sure how I feel about Meggie's haircut. I think at the heart of my reflection is a simple question: Can you add to, or subtract from... perfection? No, you can't.
Papa Mike, Josiah, Greg, and I went to a Cubs game. Michael wanted badly to join us, but a Cubs game with those three isn't as kid-friendly as it is beer-friendly, bar-friendly, and so on. There is no slowing down Papa Mike. Or Greg. Or Josiah. I like hanging out with Joe (aka Josiah); he's a former college football player and bouncer who can bench 500 lbs, also a former UFC fighter and training partner in the Miletich Camp. Did I mention that Joe is Megan's Godfather?
Megan is so sweet. If she drops something, she says, "Sowwy, Dad," and if I drop something, she says, "It's okay, Dad." She's in a sweet-spot of cuteness right now, just a few feet tall and putting sentences together in her adorable voice. Of course, sometimes she says, "Go away, Daddy" and that's not nice.
Michael doesn't like to have his toenails trimmed. Today, he said, "Trimming is ridiculous. Trimming is NOT part of this world!" We all cope in different ways.
The other day, Michael was drawing on his whiteboard and told me, "Daddy, I'm drawing Jupiter's moon. It has a lot of volcanoes on it." Interesting, I didn't know that. To date, around 700 species of dinosaurs have been named. I'm pretty sure Michael can spout facts about most of them, and pronounce them too, which is no small feat since many have names like Pachycephalasaurus, Deinonychus, Sinosauropteryx, and so on.
March 2008
The house is empty. No kids. The difference, of course, is striking. Less noise, fewer dishes, no diapers, no schedule, no bathes and bedtimes, no kid shows, no Lego-playing, we eat whenever we want, we come and go as we please. It's a freedom I can't believe I ever possessed before in this lifetime, before M 'n' m.
At the Sea Life Minnesota Aquarium at the Mall of America, Alissa – my sweet little niece, although she's bigger than Ellie, my other sweet little niece – asked me to read a sign to her. So I read aloud, "There are less than 100 shark attacks worldwide each year, and only 10 of those are fatal." I should've ad-libbed or omitted or substituted something more cheery at the end, because Alissa asked, "What does 'fatal' mean?" I said, "Oh, um, that just means they got hurt a little worse than the others."
I was talking with Michael and used the word 'intense.' I was probably reacting to a dinosaur story-fact he was sharing with me. He asked, "What does 'intense' mean?" I told him, "Very serious." He said, "Well, what does 'serious' mean?" And so it goes. I love it. I'm happy he keeps asking; I'm happy he wants to learn, especially about words. I'd say words are pretty important. I love words. I love Michael.
I wish Michael didn't, like, become physically ill every time we make him share toys with Megan. When Michael was a toddler at the hospital with newly born Megan, and everyone was fawning over her, I'll never forget Michael asking us to 'put her away,' and then, when it was time to bring her home, politely asking if we could leave her at the hospital.
Today Megan wiped at her nose several times and declared, "I got da booga, Daddy, I got da booga!" She was excited, and I know the feeling; clear nasal passages are paramount to refreshing, deep breaths, and it's with similar pride, urgency, and disregard for propriety that I undertake to clear my own nasal passages. Of course, Megan didn't have a Kleenex. So her booger is probably a crispy critter stuck to our couch now.
April 2008
I'm not sure how I feel about Meggie's haircut. I think at the heart of my reflection is a simple question: Can you add to, or subtract from... perfection? No, you can't.
Papa Mike, Josiah, Greg, and I went to a Cubs game. Michael wanted badly to join us, but a Cubs game with those three isn't as kid-friendly as it is beer-friendly, bar-friendly, and so on. There is no slowing down Papa Mike. Or Greg. Or Josiah. I like hanging out with Joe (aka Josiah); he's a former college football player and bouncer who can bench 500 lbs, also a former UFC fighter and training partner in the Miletich Camp. Did I mention that Joe is Megan's Godfather?
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
If you're a dad, what the world looks like for your little 'kitten,' and what to do about it...
"My dad was such a great dad, he was really engaged, but he was a single father, and relatively young… but he just encouraged me to be aggressive. It’s very hard for single parents, period, and I think it’s very hard for fathers and daughters, because, I just think if you’re a dad the world looks like, you know, a field of broken glass and potholes and molten lava, and you’ve got this little kitten and you’re so terrified to put the kitten down, so either they grip very tightly, or, in my father’s case, they throw you up in the air, and expect they’ve given you the skills to land, and that was definitely his strategy."
— Aisha Tyler
— Aisha Tyler
Monday, August 27, 2018
Stuff About Things #27
"If people knew how hard I worked to achieve my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful after all."
— Michelangelo
"Success at anything will always come down to this: focus and effort, and we control both."
— Dwayne Johnson
"Doubt kills more dreams that failure ever will."
— Suzy Kassem
"The difference between a pebble and a mountain lies in whom you ask to move it."
— Marcus Buckingham
"Be at war with your vices."
— Ben Franklin
"Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body."
— Seneca
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.... Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them.... People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.... Learn to say 'no' to the good so you can say 'yes' to the best.... A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit."
— John C. Maxwell
"It occurred to Yancy that, in the time they'd known each other, he hadn't once seen her look at her cell phone. She never texted, tweeted, Facebooked, Instagrammed, or posted a single picture when they were together. He found this behavior alluring."
— Razor Girl by Carl Hiaasen
"Connectivity is one of the great blessings of the internet era, and it makes extraordinary things possible. But constant connectivity can be a curse, encouraging the lesser angels of our nature. None of the nine Muses of classical times bore the names Impatience or Distraction."
— Will Schwalbe
"Simple can understand complicated but complicated cannot understand simple."
— Shambhala Buddhist saying
"Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things."
― Isaac Newton
"Clothing is a language, a visual language. And it's one you can learn and develop and use to express yourself ."
— Mark Cho
"Stress, anxiety, and depression are caused when we are living to please others."
— Paulo Coelho
"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted."
— Aldous Huxley
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude... nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."
— Thomas Jefferson
"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers."
— Thomas Jefferson
"All our previous positions are now exposed as absurd. But people don't draw the obvious conclusion..."
— Terence McKenna
"Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real."
— Niels Bohr, physicist
"What was once called the objective world is a sort of Rorschach inkblot, into which each culture, each system of science and religion, each type of personality, reads a meaning only remotely derived from the shape and color of the blot itself."
— Lewis Mumford
"Nature does not know extinction; all it knows is transformation. Everything science has taught me, and continues to teach me, strengthens my belief in the continuity of our spiritual existence after death."
— Wernher von Braun
"Men are born soft and supple; dead they are stiff and hard. Plants are born tender and pliant; dead they brittle and dry. Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible is a disciple of death. Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life. The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail."
— Lao Tzu
"The amount of revenue lost (by the TV and film industry) to piracy has skyrocketed from US$6.7 billion in 2010 to nearly US$31.8 billion in 2016. The figure will hit nearly US$52 billion in 2022. These stats do not include sports or pay TV, making the numbers all the more shocking."
— Digital TV Research Ltd
"Kim Libreri, who spent years in the film industry working on special effects... predicts that by 2022 graphics will be so advanced that they will be indistinguishable from reality." (This is not good news for Hollywood and movie stars.)
— Vanity Fair magazine
"I read everything. I read my way out of the two libraries in Harlem by the time I was thirteen. One does learn a great deal about writing this way. First of all, you learn how little you know. It is true that the more one learns the less one knows. I’m still learning how to write. I don’t know what technique is. All I know is that you have to make the reader see it. This I learned from Dostoyevsky, from Balzac."
— James Baldwin
"I hope we're not that soft. I hope we can hear comments or read comments and not get offended by things. It's a professional environment; it's not a personal environment. The things I'm saying, I don't have some vendetta against any player. I care about winning, No. 1, and I'm going to say and do the things that I feel like can advance us. It's going to be tough at some points. It's not a popularity contest all the time. Obviously, as a human, you like being liked and appreciated, but I'm trying to win games because that's my job. Again, I don't feel like when you make a statement like that (criticizing the team's effort in practice) that there needs to be some big response or feelings hurt or offense that somebody takes with it. If they do, they're taking it the wrong way because this is a professional environment. Like I said, I'm doing things that I feel like are in the best interest of the team from a leadership standpoint, and if no one else is going to stand up and criticize a bad practice, then maybe I need to be the one to do it. So I did it.... You get to this league, and to stick around, you've got to be self-motivated. So as a leader, you try to inspire, but the motivation to change and to improve has got to come from within."
— Aaron Rodgers
"Identify issues and beliefs (about yourself) and self-talk make a big difference. A lot of people believe they just can't do certain things, like remember names. A lot of people say, 'Oh, I have a bad memory.' Right? They're always like 'I have memory' or 'I have focus' or 'I don't have focus' or 'I have creativity' or 'I don't have creativity.' I want you to scrap that. Creativity is not something you have, it's something you do. Focus is not something you have, focus is something you do, energy is not something you have or don't have, it's something you do. Memory is not something you have, it's something you do. And what's the benefit of turning it into a do, as opposed to something you have? You have control over it, because you can put it into a process. It becomes a strategy. Because there's a strategy for remembering names. There's a strategy for having focus. It's a verb, not a noun."
— Jim Kwik
"Love is a verb.... Love is not a feeling, it is behavior, it is how a person acts..."
— Oprah
"Nobody loves free stuff more than rich people."
— Crazy Rich Asians
— Michelangelo
"Success at anything will always come down to this: focus and effort, and we control both."
— Dwayne Johnson
"Doubt kills more dreams that failure ever will."
— Suzy Kassem
"The difference between a pebble and a mountain lies in whom you ask to move it."
— Marcus Buckingham
"Be at war with your vices."
— Ben Franklin
"Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body."
— Seneca
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.... Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them.... People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.... Learn to say 'no' to the good so you can say 'yes' to the best.... A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit."
— John C. Maxwell
"It occurred to Yancy that, in the time they'd known each other, he hadn't once seen her look at her cell phone. She never texted, tweeted, Facebooked, Instagrammed, or posted a single picture when they were together. He found this behavior alluring."
— Razor Girl by Carl Hiaasen
"Connectivity is one of the great blessings of the internet era, and it makes extraordinary things possible. But constant connectivity can be a curse, encouraging the lesser angels of our nature. None of the nine Muses of classical times bore the names Impatience or Distraction."
— Will Schwalbe
"Simple can understand complicated but complicated cannot understand simple."
— Shambhala Buddhist saying
"Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things."
― Isaac Newton
"Clothing is a language, a visual language. And it's one you can learn and develop and use to express yourself ."
— Mark Cho
"Stress, anxiety, and depression are caused when we are living to please others."
— Paulo Coelho
"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted."
— Aldous Huxley
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude... nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."
— Thomas Jefferson
"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers."
— Thomas Jefferson
"All our previous positions are now exposed as absurd. But people don't draw the obvious conclusion..."
— Terence McKenna
"Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real."
— Niels Bohr, physicist
"What was once called the objective world is a sort of Rorschach inkblot, into which each culture, each system of science and religion, each type of personality, reads a meaning only remotely derived from the shape and color of the blot itself."
— Lewis Mumford
"Nature does not know extinction; all it knows is transformation. Everything science has taught me, and continues to teach me, strengthens my belief in the continuity of our spiritual existence after death."
— Wernher von Braun
"Men are born soft and supple; dead they are stiff and hard. Plants are born tender and pliant; dead they brittle and dry. Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible is a disciple of death. Whoever is soft and yielding is a disciple of life. The hard and stiff will be broken. The soft and supple will prevail."
— Lao Tzu
"The amount of revenue lost (by the TV and film industry) to piracy has skyrocketed from US$6.7 billion in 2010 to nearly US$31.8 billion in 2016. The figure will hit nearly US$52 billion in 2022. These stats do not include sports or pay TV, making the numbers all the more shocking."
— Digital TV Research Ltd
"Kim Libreri, who spent years in the film industry working on special effects... predicts that by 2022 graphics will be so advanced that they will be indistinguishable from reality." (This is not good news for Hollywood and movie stars.)
— Vanity Fair magazine
"I read everything. I read my way out of the two libraries in Harlem by the time I was thirteen. One does learn a great deal about writing this way. First of all, you learn how little you know. It is true that the more one learns the less one knows. I’m still learning how to write. I don’t know what technique is. All I know is that you have to make the reader see it. This I learned from Dostoyevsky, from Balzac."
— James Baldwin
"I hope we're not that soft. I hope we can hear comments or read comments and not get offended by things. It's a professional environment; it's not a personal environment. The things I'm saying, I don't have some vendetta against any player. I care about winning, No. 1, and I'm going to say and do the things that I feel like can advance us. It's going to be tough at some points. It's not a popularity contest all the time. Obviously, as a human, you like being liked and appreciated, but I'm trying to win games because that's my job. Again, I don't feel like when you make a statement like that (criticizing the team's effort in practice) that there needs to be some big response or feelings hurt or offense that somebody takes with it. If they do, they're taking it the wrong way because this is a professional environment. Like I said, I'm doing things that I feel like are in the best interest of the team from a leadership standpoint, and if no one else is going to stand up and criticize a bad practice, then maybe I need to be the one to do it. So I did it.... You get to this league, and to stick around, you've got to be self-motivated. So as a leader, you try to inspire, but the motivation to change and to improve has got to come from within."
— Aaron Rodgers
"Identify issues and beliefs (about yourself) and self-talk make a big difference. A lot of people believe they just can't do certain things, like remember names. A lot of people say, 'Oh, I have a bad memory.' Right? They're always like 'I have memory' or 'I have focus' or 'I don't have focus' or 'I have creativity' or 'I don't have creativity.' I want you to scrap that. Creativity is not something you have, it's something you do. Focus is not something you have, focus is something you do, energy is not something you have or don't have, it's something you do. Memory is not something you have, it's something you do. And what's the benefit of turning it into a do, as opposed to something you have? You have control over it, because you can put it into a process. It becomes a strategy. Because there's a strategy for remembering names. There's a strategy for having focus. It's a verb, not a noun."
— Jim Kwik
"Love is a verb.... Love is not a feeling, it is behavior, it is how a person acts..."
— Oprah
"Nobody loves free stuff more than rich people."
— Crazy Rich Asians
Thursday, August 16, 2018
On Motherhood
"It’s hard to describe the joy of motherhood. It isn’t as easily Instagrammable as a life (without kids) of endless holidays, blue skies, cocktails and local pastries on cobbled streets in faraway lands, so it doesn’t necessarily register in surveys or even in casual conversation. It isn’t a joy that’s as easily shared with the world or on social media. In restaurants when my daughter, in her high chair with her two and a half teeth, scrunches up her face, I look around to see if everyone has noticed and been charmed. Nobody has (except for the occasional old lady) and I get annoyed, even though I myself constantly ignore all other babies in my vicinity. The joy and fun of motherhood are so deeply personal, so intimate and so selfish, there’s no way to explain it to the world, particularly our current social media heavy world. Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood, says in an interview that the 'feeling when your kid laughs or when your kid says something that’s so totally, like, amazingly weird, or insightful, or sensitive – it’s not the same as like getting a good laugh out of watching a movie or having a really nice time with a friend. It’s just like a different category of experience.' It is a different category – one that can’t compare to your life before you had the child because no point of reference is the same after you’ve had the child."
— Diksha Basu, from her article Rebranding Motherhood in The New York Times
— Diksha Basu, from her article Rebranding Motherhood in The New York Times
On Attitude
When I was a kid, I remember being overly-competitive about certain things, and also bent to the negative; a little misfortune, during any contest, immediately convinced me that my team, my score, my effort, my mission was doomed. I worried and fretted. I pouted. I gave up. My attitude sucked. (Not always! but sometimes.) A loss at a board game was devastating. Not winning the most trivial, skill-less competition could ruin my day. Eventually, I learned the wisdom below. Attitude dictates mood, mindset, energy, personality, perspective, everything. Figuratively, it's an ever-present lens in life; we see everything through it. It's the loudest garment we wear; it's a sign around our necks. It's the horse we're riding whether we realize it or not. It's not a reaction to some game, it is the game. Okay, my metaphors are silly but my point – for M 'n' m – is not: attitude is powerful. Around M 'n' m, I try to be positive, grateful, optimistic, energetic. Of course, it's not easy; I've whined and limped and dragged myself through many-a-day, but M 'n' m know it's what I strive for, it's how I try to live life, and it's what I wish for them: when it comes to attitude, try not to suck!
"Attitude is everything." ... "Life is an attitude, have a good one." ... "A bad attitude is like a flat tire, if you don't change it, you won't go very far."
"The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up."
— John C. Maxwell
"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."
— Khalil Gibran
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes."
— William James
"The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."
—Victor E. Frankl
"People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude."
— John C. Maxwell
"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."
— Albert Einstein
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.... The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitude."
— Charles R. Swindoll
"Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor."
— Rumi
"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?"
— Rumi
"Attitude is everything." ... "Life is an attitude, have a good one." ... "A bad attitude is like a flat tire, if you don't change it, you won't go very far."
"The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up."
— John C. Maxwell
"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."
— Khalil Gibran
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes."
— William James
"The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."
—Victor E. Frankl
"People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude."
— John C. Maxwell
"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."
— Albert Einstein
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.... The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitude."
— Charles R. Swindoll
"Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor."
— Rumi
"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?"
— Rumi
Monday, August 6, 2018
Stuff About Things #26
"The question is not what a man can scorn, or disparage, or find fault with, but what he can love, and value, and appreciate."
— John Ruskin
"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving."
— Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.... We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.... The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.... Youth is wasted on the young.... I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.... People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.... A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."
— George Bernard Shaw
"May you live all the days of your life."
— Jonathan Swift
"When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.... It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.... Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own."
— Jonathan Swift
"The corporate system is set up to favor those with steel elbows."
— Elena Herdieckerhoff
"You're on earth. There's no cure for that."
— Samuel Beckett
"I have no yesterdays, time took them away; tomorrow may not be, but I have today."
— Pearl Yeadon McGinnis
"I have four things to learn in life: to think clearly without hurry or confusion; to love everybody sincerely; to act in everything with the highest motives; to trust in God unhesitatingly."
— Helen Keller
"I said, 'Joe, how does it make you feel to know that our host only yesterday may have made more money than your novel Catch-22 has earned in its entire history?' And Joe said, 'I’ve got something he'll never have.' And I said, 'What on earth could that be, Joe?' And Joe said, “Enough.'"
"I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.... True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.... A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.... Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."
"Every writer I know has trouble writing."
— Joseph Heller
"Humans will always choose what they understand over what they do not."
— Dr. Robert Ford, fictional character in Westworld
"School's a piece of cake compared to life, man."
— Papa Mike
"We need dark in order to show light."
— Bob Ross, painter, creator of The Joy of Painting
"Of course I'm not Shakespeare or Hegel; but I have written works that I've polished as carefully as I could, and some have been failures, surely, but others less so, while still others have been successes. And that's enough."
— Jean-Paul Sartre
"Sartre had taught me to think in the present as if yesterday's thoughts did not count: they would come back if they were still needed."
— Benny Levy
"(Joaquin Phoenix and I) were talking on the first day about the fact I had never done a serious scene in a movie, and he asked, 'Well, are you nervous?' I said, 'Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing!' And he said, 'Do you think that any of us ever know what we're doing?' He may have just been saying that to make me feel better, but if he was saying it in earnest, it's kind of a clue as to why he's so good. If someone really is approaching their work as though it's the first time they've ever done it, then that is an incredible sort of openness and lack of complacency. It's such an alive place to be working from."
— Joanna Newsom
"Everybody treats me like an old man. I laugh about it. Why? Because an old man never feels like an old man. The attitude of other people makes me understand what old age means to the person who looks at it from outside, but I don't feel my old age. So to be old doesn't in itself teach my anything. What does teach me something is the attitude of other people toward me. In other words, the fact that for others I am old is to be profoundly old. Old age is a reality that is mine but that others feel..."
— Jean-Paul Sartre, 1980 (so he was 75 years old)
"The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm."
— Aldous Huxley
"Then (my father) told my sister Mary and me that he was going to prepare us to fight the battle of life by giving us an education, which he and our mother had not had."
— Anson Mills
"My family shaped me almost entirely. I'm my mother's son, and she had a vision of what I should be capable of. She provided the means to nurture whatever it was that would become my actualized self. My grandfather was the closest thing I had to a father growing up; he was enormously inspirational. He is in some ways a small-town, country-days man - a touch-stone of masculinity and humor and selflessness. He was all man to me. There was a deeper level of discovery that came the moment my son's head crowned at birth. My children have taught me as much as I've tried to teach them. My daughter, particularly, has taught me a new level of appreciation for what it is to be female, what it is to be a woman, and about my relationship to femininity and women."
— Jeffrey Wright, actor
"Each person has something he can do easily and can't imagine why everybody else has so much trouble doing it."
— Kurt Vonnegut
"... it is sometimes wise courageously to defy and disobey injurious and useless commands. Such actions often injure the reputation of the reformer for a time, but eventually they will distinguish him above the larger number of his fellows..."
— Anson Mills
"Few things break us out of our routines and awaken us to the living substance of happiness more powerfully than travel."
— Maria Popova
— John Ruskin
"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving."
— Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.... We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.... The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.... Youth is wasted on the young.... I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.... People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.... A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."
— George Bernard Shaw
"May you live all the days of your life."
— Jonathan Swift
"When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.... It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.... Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own."
— Jonathan Swift
"The corporate system is set up to favor those with steel elbows."
— Elena Herdieckerhoff
"You're on earth. There's no cure for that."
— Samuel Beckett
"I have no yesterdays, time took them away; tomorrow may not be, but I have today."
— Pearl Yeadon McGinnis
"I have four things to learn in life: to think clearly without hurry or confusion; to love everybody sincerely; to act in everything with the highest motives; to trust in God unhesitatingly."
— Helen Keller
"I said, 'Joe, how does it make you feel to know that our host only yesterday may have made more money than your novel Catch-22 has earned in its entire history?' And Joe said, 'I’ve got something he'll never have.' And I said, 'What on earth could that be, Joe?' And Joe said, “Enough.'"
— Kurt Vonnegut, recalling a conversation he had with Joseph Heller at a party hosted by a billionaire
— Kurt Vonnegut
— Joseph Heller
"Humans will always choose what they understand over what they do not."
— Dr. Robert Ford, fictional character in Westworld
"School's a piece of cake compared to life, man."
— Papa Mike
"We need dark in order to show light."
— Bob Ross, painter, creator of The Joy of Painting
"Of course I'm not Shakespeare or Hegel; but I have written works that I've polished as carefully as I could, and some have been failures, surely, but others less so, while still others have been successes. And that's enough."
— Jean-Paul Sartre
"Sartre had taught me to think in the present as if yesterday's thoughts did not count: they would come back if they were still needed."
— Benny Levy
"(Joaquin Phoenix and I) were talking on the first day about the fact I had never done a serious scene in a movie, and he asked, 'Well, are you nervous?' I said, 'Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing!' And he said, 'Do you think that any of us ever know what we're doing?' He may have just been saying that to make me feel better, but if he was saying it in earnest, it's kind of a clue as to why he's so good. If someone really is approaching their work as though it's the first time they've ever done it, then that is an incredible sort of openness and lack of complacency. It's such an alive place to be working from."
— Joanna Newsom
"Everybody treats me like an old man. I laugh about it. Why? Because an old man never feels like an old man. The attitude of other people makes me understand what old age means to the person who looks at it from outside, but I don't feel my old age. So to be old doesn't in itself teach my anything. What does teach me something is the attitude of other people toward me. In other words, the fact that for others I am old is to be profoundly old. Old age is a reality that is mine but that others feel..."
— Jean-Paul Sartre, 1980 (so he was 75 years old)
"The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm."
— Aldous Huxley
"Then (my father) told my sister Mary and me that he was going to prepare us to fight the battle of life by giving us an education, which he and our mother had not had."
— Anson Mills
"My family shaped me almost entirely. I'm my mother's son, and she had a vision of what I should be capable of. She provided the means to nurture whatever it was that would become my actualized self. My grandfather was the closest thing I had to a father growing up; he was enormously inspirational. He is in some ways a small-town, country-days man - a touch-stone of masculinity and humor and selflessness. He was all man to me. There was a deeper level of discovery that came the moment my son's head crowned at birth. My children have taught me as much as I've tried to teach them. My daughter, particularly, has taught me a new level of appreciation for what it is to be female, what it is to be a woman, and about my relationship to femininity and women."
— Jeffrey Wright, actor
"Each person has something he can do easily and can't imagine why everybody else has so much trouble doing it."
— Kurt Vonnegut
"... it is sometimes wise courageously to defy and disobey injurious and useless commands. Such actions often injure the reputation of the reformer for a time, but eventually they will distinguish him above the larger number of his fellows..."
— Anson Mills
"Few things break us out of our routines and awaken us to the living substance of happiness more powerfully than travel."
— Maria Popova
Wednesday, August 1, 2018
Tiger Woods may be a lot of things...
... but two of them I can relate to, at least a little: he's my age and he's a father. Last week, he said this about his two kids – a daughter and a son – being with him during his final round at the British Open:
"In team sports you can hide, in individual sports you cannot. You're exposed. They saw their dad get into contention and end up leading the tournament. Then end up losing the tournament. But I tried until the very end. They saw me make that birdie on the par 5, and they saw I stuffed that shot on 18 even though that yahoo was yelling at me on the tee shot. They saw how much I was grinding. They said, 'Well, you weren't going to win.' I said, 'I know I wasn't going to win, but that doesn't stop me from grinding.' That is a teachable moment because they were there in the present, in person. Sometimes you can't always see that on TV."
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Sunday, July 29, 2018
"You feel a love...
... you know you will never be able to adequately explain or express to (your son), a love that flows one way, down the generations, not in reverse, and is understood and reciprocated only when time has made of a younger generation an older one."
— Mohsin Hamid, How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia: A Novel
— Mohsin Hamid, How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia: A Novel
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
#399
My mission to reach 400 has stalled. 398 was two months ago. Speaking of two: I'll have two teenagers soon. My little kids aren't little anymore. It's bittersweet; I can't wait to know the adult versions of M 'n' m, but their years as children have been a trip; I've enjoyed it and I'm grateful and not ready for it to shrink in the distance as we race into the future.
I have some old notes and scribbles here that I never shared. Perhaps it's because many are not directly about M 'n' m, and others are controversial (so best unshared), or so brief I must've intended to fatten them up by rambling, which is never good because good writing is lean. My writing isn't lean or good. Here are some notes:
I think confidence and humility can coexist beautifully. And I think that's called grace. It is a special kind of polish, or refinement. I wish I saw this in the mirror. I wish I saw it in the world more, too.
It is silly, of course, but there's wisdom in it, for us all to consider, when judging ourselves or anyone else, the tongue-in-cheek advice, "Pick your parents well."
In a Puerto Rican shop today in Old San Juan, I saw this on a bracelet: "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."
I’ve only ever looked out of one pair of eyes. And I’ve only been inside of one head, one mind. (My own, of course.) Over seven billion people on the planet now. And how many before us? And only this single experience as pilot of a human mind and body? Yet life affords you another kind of perspective-changer: Being young and getting older. That is meaningful change. And, if we're lucky I guess, we keep getting older and older.
I have some old notes and scribbles here that I never shared. Perhaps it's because many are not directly about M 'n' m, and others are controversial (so best unshared), or so brief I must've intended to fatten them up by rambling, which is never good because good writing is lean. My writing isn't lean or good. Here are some notes:
I think confidence and humility can coexist beautifully. And I think that's called grace. It is a special kind of polish, or refinement. I wish I saw this in the mirror. I wish I saw it in the world more, too.
It is silly, of course, but there's wisdom in it, for us all to consider, when judging ourselves or anyone else, the tongue-in-cheek advice, "Pick your parents well."
I am finally reading "A Picture of Dorian
Gray." The story of Oscar Wilde is kind of a tragic one, but I can only
agree, so far (I am on page 9), that he is one of the best ever to turn a phrase. I really loved the Dublin Writer's Museum which Jeanette suggested we visit in Ireland. It houses some artifacts and original writings, letters, manuscripts, etc. from Wilde, Joyce, Swift, Shaw, Stoker, Yeats, Behan, Beckett. Geniuses, every one.
In a Puerto Rican shop today in Old San Juan, I saw this on a bracelet: "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."
I’ve only ever looked out of one pair of eyes. And I’ve only been inside of one head, one mind. (My own, of course.) Over seven billion people on the planet now. And how many before us? And only this single experience as pilot of a human mind and body? Yet life affords you another kind of perspective-changer: Being young and getting older. That is meaningful change. And, if we're lucky I guess, we keep getting older and older.
Megan asked me, "What's for breakfast?" I said, "Eggs."
She said, "Every time I see eggs, I think of baby chickens. I wanna put
eggs under heat lamps." Oh brother.
Do you ever give credence to the possibility that we reincarnate, that we've had past lives? And what if, when we were 'someone else,' we touched the lives of those who touch our lives now? What if we lived alongside our ancestors somehow, in some way? In mines or factories or foxholes with our grandfathers? What if you were the old doctor who saved your grandma's life when she was young? What if this, what if that... would you carry yourself differently? Do you want to carry yourself differently? Maybe we should ask ourselves questions like these and realize what we can't be sure of. Which, it seems to me, is another way of saying: realize what is possible.
Fundamentalists scare the shit out of me. And not just the jihadi and sharia variety. Some of my evangelical Christian friends I find uncomfortably myopic, rigid, and condemnatory. (For the record, I'm Christian, although, perfect example: certain Christians would say I'm not because my views are too liberal or flexible or inclusive or modern; and I respect, and often praise, other world religions.) I think the litmus test is simple: If someone is drowning, we shouldn't, of course, throw them a barbell, but neither should we even hesitate or put conditions on our help in that moment. Right? I feel like some people – ironically, very devout people, which is an admirable, disciplined trait, this unshakeable devotion – would need to think about it and pass judgement first – who is this and what do they believe and maybe I can convert them? And yet, pretending I'm Mr. Nice Guy, I sit here and espouse ideas like: People should enter the United States legally. Easy for me to say; I'm already here. But laws are important too. So voting on and modifying laws can be undertaken. I don't think anyone has ever suggested 'voting on and modifying laws' in the Bible, though. Leviticus and so on. I will shut up now....
I like this from Hemingway: "The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." He also said: "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; (be) superior to your former self." And a favorite of anyone who knows that thoughtfully jotting down anything at all is harder than it seems, hard to get started, hard to finish contentedly, impossible to do well enough to please one's inner critic: "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." Hemingway was an active dude. At 61 he took his own life but it's suspected that physical and mental deterioration due to a blood disorder may have played a part. Similar to Robin Williams' unbearable situation perhaps. It doesn't sound like either was afflicted with the same kind of pernicious depression as David Foster Wallace.
Megan asked me, "Why does fear have to be a thing?"
I want to shrink my amygdala. I hope, via genetics, I didn't gift overactive ones to M 'n' m. Although, I would argue there are benefits to a certain amount of sensitivity, alertness, awareness, conscientiousness, competitiveness, intelligence, energy; all of which are bolstered I would think by a little anxiety.
I am not surprised that the words 'arrogance' and 'ignorance' have a similar ring and flow to them when pronounced.
I read something recently in which the author referred to the world as 'morally squishy.' Clever way to put it. But on some level, I feel like we always know what the right thing to do is. There are two sides to every story, but even so…. Kindness is important. But if kindness to one party harms another party, then what? Are there laws involved? Can a majority opinion be reached? In my opinion, there’s more of a firmness to the world, regarding right and wrong; it’s not that squishy. But it’s not always morally black and white either; to believe that is insane. How much do parents impact moral development in their children? Entirely? No. But considerably. Substantially. And actions speak louder than words.
We catch smallmouth bass at Paul's. Also walleye and northern, but smallmouth are the pound-for-pound champs; they fight like beserkers (a Viking term; worth reading about). They're surprisingly powerful and I love that combination: that of being powerful, I mean, but not having a big mouth.
Paul – a nearly lifelong friend of Papa Mike's – has a home, boats, and other toys on Island Lake near Duluth. It's not a busy place. Bears, wolves, bald eagles, loons, and prized fish live there, in big expanses of wilderness, water, and open air. I'm grateful Michael gets to experience it every year, and I do too. Megan doesn't love to fish, and we spend many, many hours doing that, but I want her to see it someday, too. Such places exist and they have charms, and also challenges, quite different than those encountered in, say, downtown Chicago. Thank you, Paul.
It’s challenging to be a great father and have a great career. It’s even more challenging to be a great mother and have a great career. These are controversial comments. But I see parents everywhere taking on the task – parenting, that is – with passion, patience, aplomb, and it’s inspiring to me. Because I know it’s not easy. It’s not stress-free, or inexpensive, or undemanding, or predictable. It’s wonderful though.
I just realized that in the 'Marvel Universe' and the 'DC Universe,' the heroes that headline movies are always not parents. At least Disney / Pixar has The Incredibles.
Why do we seek to provoke inelegance, and disgrace, instead of elegance and grace. In the news media, especially. Social media, despite its vulnerability to misuse and nonsense, is generally better, I think, at exposing us to uplifting things, family photos and good news and opportunities to support, greet, compliment, and advise each other. I’m really only familiar with Facebook though. Not Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, or any others.
They say the teen psyche is powerfully averse to criticism and embarrassment.... This might be a very bad thing when cocktailed up with social media.
I don't know if Michael is setting hearts aflutter in junior high. But I do know that my dugout – I'll call it that since I'm the head coach – was visited by five or six girls yesterday, all chipper and chatty and looking for Michael and a couple other guys. When the right girl was in the audience, I was eager to show off. I don't know if this effect made me better or worse; I hope these guys play better. Distractions are okay sometimes if they inspire.
I've bought so many great books for next to nothing at Goodwill stores. I feel guilty. I confess. My latest purchase? A pristine copy of The Varieties of Religious Experience by William James. Light bedtime reading.
I don't believe I live in a 'profoundly sick society' or even a 'sick society' – there are too many good things going on, and good people – but I find myself drawn to this quote: "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." It's from Krishnamurti. I will learn more about him. Off to YouTube for clips and documentaries.
The two Michaels (Papa Mike and Michael) are both list-makers and productive guys. It appears that lists inspire productivity and creativity. And organization. Well then, I need to make more lists.
Do you ever give credence to the possibility that we reincarnate, that we've had past lives? And what if, when we were 'someone else,' we touched the lives of those who touch our lives now? What if we lived alongside our ancestors somehow, in some way? In mines or factories or foxholes with our grandfathers? What if you were the old doctor who saved your grandma's life when she was young? What if this, what if that... would you carry yourself differently? Do you want to carry yourself differently? Maybe we should ask ourselves questions like these and realize what we can't be sure of. Which, it seems to me, is another way of saying: realize what is possible.
Fundamentalists scare the shit out of me. And not just the jihadi and sharia variety. Some of my evangelical Christian friends I find uncomfortably myopic, rigid, and condemnatory. (For the record, I'm Christian, although, perfect example: certain Christians would say I'm not because my views are too liberal or flexible or inclusive or modern; and I respect, and often praise, other world religions.) I think the litmus test is simple: If someone is drowning, we shouldn't, of course, throw them a barbell, but neither should we even hesitate or put conditions on our help in that moment. Right? I feel like some people – ironically, very devout people, which is an admirable, disciplined trait, this unshakeable devotion – would need to think about it and pass judgement first – who is this and what do they believe and maybe I can convert them? And yet, pretending I'm Mr. Nice Guy, I sit here and espouse ideas like: People should enter the United States legally. Easy for me to say; I'm already here. But laws are important too. So voting on and modifying laws can be undertaken. I don't think anyone has ever suggested 'voting on and modifying laws' in the Bible, though. Leviticus and so on. I will shut up now....
I like this from Hemingway: "The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." He also said: "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; (be) superior to your former self." And a favorite of anyone who knows that thoughtfully jotting down anything at all is harder than it seems, hard to get started, hard to finish contentedly, impossible to do well enough to please one's inner critic: "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." Hemingway was an active dude. At 61 he took his own life but it's suspected that physical and mental deterioration due to a blood disorder may have played a part. Similar to Robin Williams' unbearable situation perhaps. It doesn't sound like either was afflicted with the same kind of pernicious depression as David Foster Wallace.
Megan asked me, "Why does fear have to be a thing?"
I want to shrink my amygdala. I hope, via genetics, I didn't gift overactive ones to M 'n' m. Although, I would argue there are benefits to a certain amount of sensitivity, alertness, awareness, conscientiousness, competitiveness, intelligence, energy; all of which are bolstered I would think by a little anxiety.
I am not surprised that the words 'arrogance' and 'ignorance' have a similar ring and flow to them when pronounced.
I read something recently in which the author referred to the world as 'morally squishy.' Clever way to put it. But on some level, I feel like we always know what the right thing to do is. There are two sides to every story, but even so…. Kindness is important. But if kindness to one party harms another party, then what? Are there laws involved? Can a majority opinion be reached? In my opinion, there’s more of a firmness to the world, regarding right and wrong; it’s not that squishy. But it’s not always morally black and white either; to believe that is insane. How much do parents impact moral development in their children? Entirely? No. But considerably. Substantially. And actions speak louder than words.
We catch smallmouth bass at Paul's. Also walleye and northern, but smallmouth are the pound-for-pound champs; they fight like beserkers (a Viking term; worth reading about). They're surprisingly powerful and I love that combination: that of being powerful, I mean, but not having a big mouth.
Paul – a nearly lifelong friend of Papa Mike's – has a home, boats, and other toys on Island Lake near Duluth. It's not a busy place. Bears, wolves, bald eagles, loons, and prized fish live there, in big expanses of wilderness, water, and open air. I'm grateful Michael gets to experience it every year, and I do too. Megan doesn't love to fish, and we spend many, many hours doing that, but I want her to see it someday, too. Such places exist and they have charms, and also challenges, quite different than those encountered in, say, downtown Chicago. Thank you, Paul.
It’s challenging to be a great father and have a great career. It’s even more challenging to be a great mother and have a great career. These are controversial comments. But I see parents everywhere taking on the task – parenting, that is – with passion, patience, aplomb, and it’s inspiring to me. Because I know it’s not easy. It’s not stress-free, or inexpensive, or undemanding, or predictable. It’s wonderful though.
I just realized that in the 'Marvel Universe' and the 'DC Universe,' the heroes that headline movies are always not parents. At least Disney / Pixar has The Incredibles.
Why do we seek to provoke inelegance, and disgrace, instead of elegance and grace. In the news media, especially. Social media, despite its vulnerability to misuse and nonsense, is generally better, I think, at exposing us to uplifting things, family photos and good news and opportunities to support, greet, compliment, and advise each other. I’m really only familiar with Facebook though. Not Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, or any others.
They say the teen psyche is powerfully averse to criticism and embarrassment.... This might be a very bad thing when cocktailed up with social media.
I don't know if Michael is setting hearts aflutter in junior high. But I do know that my dugout – I'll call it that since I'm the head coach – was visited by five or six girls yesterday, all chipper and chatty and looking for Michael and a couple other guys. When the right girl was in the audience, I was eager to show off. I don't know if this effect made me better or worse; I hope these guys play better. Distractions are okay sometimes if they inspire.
I've bought so many great books for next to nothing at Goodwill stores. I feel guilty. I confess. My latest purchase? A pristine copy of The Varieties of Religious Experience by William James. Light bedtime reading.
I don't believe I live in a 'profoundly sick society' or even a 'sick society' – there are too many good things going on, and good people – but I find myself drawn to this quote: "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." It's from Krishnamurti. I will learn more about him. Off to YouTube for clips and documentaries.
The two Michaels (Papa Mike and Michael) are both list-makers and productive guys. It appears that lists inspire productivity and creativity. And organization. Well then, I need to make more lists.
Do you lie to your kids? Do they lie to you? Mark Twain wrote an essay...
... called On Decay of the Art of Lying. I found it
interesting; I am, after all, a parent. I need to detect, and also tell, the
occasional lie. Hopefully only soft lies, productive, purposeful lies, you know, for positive effect; I mean the lies I'll tell M 'n' m, to postpone the
truth until they're older, or to avoid cynicism or unhelpful discouragement; there are many reasons to fib and evade. But my kids are – and I bet yours are too –
astute, curious, and, at times, suspicious of my recollections and commentary
as it pertains to my own bad behavior, or the bad behavior of others or the world in general. In other words, they can detect lies too. So... should we master the art of lying? It seems Samuel Clemens is suggesting that very thing: Yes, lying is called for sometimes and best done proficiently. "Have you ever smoked a cigarette, Dad?" Or, from their generation, "Do you vape?" M 'n' m and I have talked about it (and I was pretty honest, actually; more about chewing tobacco than smoking it for me). "What drugs have
you seen? What drugs have you done? How old were you?” We've touched on this, also, but not in great detail. And the topic of sex? We
can refuse to answer, but that's not the right message either. Between parents and
children, lying and hypocrisy absolutely take place, and understandably.
Effective lying – and this is the real thrust of Twain’s candor here – is
often an appropriate courtesy, as well.
Twain says, "Everybody lies – every day; every hour; awake; asleep; in his dreams; in his joy; in his mourning; if he keeps his tongue still, his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude, will convey deception – and purposely.... The iron-souled truth-monger would plainly manifest, or even utter that he didn't want to see those people – and he would be an ass, and inflict totally unnecessary pain.... but never mind, they had a thousand pleasant ways of lying, that grew out of gentle impulses, and were a credit to their intelligence and an honor to their hearts. Let the particulars go.... I think that all courteous lying is a sweet and loving art, and should be cultivated. The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of graceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.... An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth.... Almost any little pleasant lie would have taken the sting out of that troublesome but necessary expression of the truth. Lying is universal – we all do it. Therefore, the wise thing is for us diligently to train ourselves to lie thoughtfully, judiciously; to lie with a good object, and not an evil one; to lie for others' advantage, and not our own; to lie healingly, charitably, humanely, not cruelly, hurtfully, maliciously; to lie gracefully and graciously, not awkwardly and clumsily; to lie firmly, frankly, squarely...."
Twain says, "Everybody lies – every day; every hour; awake; asleep; in his dreams; in his joy; in his mourning; if he keeps his tongue still, his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude, will convey deception – and purposely.... The iron-souled truth-monger would plainly manifest, or even utter that he didn't want to see those people – and he would be an ass, and inflict totally unnecessary pain.... but never mind, they had a thousand pleasant ways of lying, that grew out of gentle impulses, and were a credit to their intelligence and an honor to their hearts. Let the particulars go.... I think that all courteous lying is a sweet and loving art, and should be cultivated. The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of graceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.... An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth.... Almost any little pleasant lie would have taken the sting out of that troublesome but necessary expression of the truth. Lying is universal – we all do it. Therefore, the wise thing is for us diligently to train ourselves to lie thoughtfully, judiciously; to lie with a good object, and not an evil one; to lie for others' advantage, and not our own; to lie healingly, charitably, humanely, not cruelly, hurtfully, maliciously; to lie gracefully and graciously, not awkwardly and clumsily; to lie firmly, frankly, squarely...."
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
Stuff About Things #25
"Hard work works."
— Denzel Washington
"Gratitude works."
"Some people are so poor all they have is money."
"Demonstration is better than instruction."
"Life is a classroom, and the lessons are often quite simple."
"Eagles don't flock."
"Life is a series of moments called now."
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
— Albert Einstein
"What we call reality is a subset of accessible spaces."
— Luis Villalobos
"Context and memory play powerful roles in all the truly great meals in one's life."
— Anthony Bourdain
"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
— Eden Phillpotts
"It's simple, but simple isn't the same as easy."
— John Scalzi
"The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer.... A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticize work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities - all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness.... The role is easy; there is none easier..."
— Theodore Roosevelt
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena... who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat… There is little use for the being whose tepid soul knows nothing of great and generous emotion..."
— Theodore Roosevelt
"A man must consider what a rich realm he abdicates when he becomes a conformist."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."
— James B. Conant
"Pay no attention to the critics. Don't even ignore them."
— Samuel Goldwyn
"If you're going through hell, keep going."
— Winston Churchill
"It is God's kindness to terrify you in order to lead you to safety."
— Rumi
"Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions."
― Hafiz
"Don't let your throat tighten with fear. Take sips of breath all day and night."
— Rumi
No mirror ever became iron again;
No bread ever became wheat;
No ripened grape ever became sour fruit.
Mature yourself and be secure from a change for the worse.
Become the light.
— Rumi
"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star."
— Nietzsche
"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?"
— Rumi
"Serious writers, I should say, are on the whole more vain and self-centered than journalists, though less interested in money.... The opinion that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude.... In any case I find that by the time you have perfected any style of writing, you have always outgrown it.... I have not written a novel for seven years, but I hope to write another fairly soon. It is bound to be a failure, every book is a failure.... All writers are vain, selfish, and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives there lies a mystery. Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand."
— George Orwell, Why I Write, 1946
— Denzel Washington
"Gratitude works."
"Some people are so poor all they have is money."
"Demonstration is better than instruction."
"Life is a classroom, and the lessons are often quite simple."
"Eagles don't flock."
"Life is a series of moments called now."
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
— Albert Einstein
"What we call reality is a subset of accessible spaces."
— Luis Villalobos
"Context and memory play powerful roles in all the truly great meals in one's life."
— Anthony Bourdain
"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
— Eden Phillpotts
"It's simple, but simple isn't the same as easy."
— John Scalzi
"The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer.... A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticize work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities - all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness.... The role is easy; there is none easier..."
— Theodore Roosevelt
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena... who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat… There is little use for the being whose tepid soul knows nothing of great and generous emotion..."
— Theodore Roosevelt
"A man must consider what a rich realm he abdicates when he becomes a conformist."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."
— James B. Conant
"Pay no attention to the critics. Don't even ignore them."
— Samuel Goldwyn
"If you're going through hell, keep going."
— Winston Churchill
"It is God's kindness to terrify you in order to lead you to safety."
— Rumi
"Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions."
― Hafiz
"Don't let your throat tighten with fear. Take sips of breath all day and night."
— Rumi
No mirror ever became iron again;
No bread ever became wheat;
No ripened grape ever became sour fruit.
Mature yourself and be secure from a change for the worse.
Become the light.
— Rumi
"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star."
— Nietzsche
"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?"
— Rumi
"Serious writers, I should say, are on the whole more vain and self-centered than journalists, though less interested in money.... The opinion that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude.... In any case I find that by the time you have perfected any style of writing, you have always outgrown it.... I have not written a novel for seven years, but I hope to write another fairly soon. It is bound to be a failure, every book is a failure.... All writers are vain, selfish, and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives there lies a mystery. Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand."
— George Orwell, Why I Write, 1946
Monday, June 25, 2018
On Failure
"Fail early, fail often, fail forward.... It's always a little bit frustrating to me when people have a negative relationship with failure. Failure is a massive part of being able to be successful. You have to get comfortable with failure. You have to actually seek failure. Failure is where all the lessons are. You know, when you go to the gym and you work out, you're actually seeking failure, you want to take your muscles to the point where you get to failure because that's where the adaptation is, that's where the growth is. Successful people fail a lot. They fail a whole lot more than they succeed, but they extract the lessons from the failure, and they use the energy, and they use the wisdom, to come around to the next phase of success. You gotta take a shot. You have to live at the edge of your capabilities. You gotta live where you're almost certain you're gonna fail. That's the reason for practice, practice is controlled failure.... Failure helps you recognize the areas where you need to evolve. So fail early, fail often, fail forward."
— Will Smith
"As much as anything, the trajectory of (Francis Ford) Coppola’s career has been determined by failure. I won’t go too deeply into his 1982 film, One from the Heart, other than to say it was a musical released in the age of punk, a love story released in the age of cynicism. In it, Coppola tried to capture the magic of theater, his first love. It’s not reality you expect from theater. It’s something else, something better. Another world. Artificial. Houses of marzipan. Colors too bright, lines too sharp. You look into it as you look into a jewel box. But people did not want lyricism in the early 1980s. They wanted grit. What’s more, Coppola had seemingly learned the wrong lessons from his experience. As the producer of American Graffiti, he had wanted to fund the thing and own it outright but was dissuaded. It went on to become one of the great moneymakers. Then Apocalypse Now, which had been written off by critics, was a great success. Which is partly why F.F.C. put his own money up for One from the Heart and then persisted through all the criticism from industry types. He was over-extended by the time it flopped, having borrowed millions from Chase Manhattan Bank. 'It was this dismal failure and I was on the hook for all of it,' he told me. 'I was going into bankruptcy, and everyone took such glee because they’re always predicting this profound failure, which was supposed to be Apocalypse. Apocalypse dodged the bullet somehow, so, when I made One from the Heart, it was like giving your opponent in Ping-Pong the perfect ball to smash. I was wiped out and only able to hang on by making a deal with Chase to pay off $22 million in 10 years. That meant I had to do a movie every year, and it changed my life. All those movies, Peggy Sue Got Married, The Outsiders, Dracula, and ultimately Godfather III, was me paying off the Chase Manhattan Bank.'"
— Rich Cohen, Vanity Fair
"I’m not afraid to fail. I’m not afraid to fall over and make a mistake. That often cripples people at the onset of getting into anything. The first time I picked up a DJ decks I was horrible, still am, but I'm not afraid of that, I'm not afraid of that feeling. It actually propels me and works quite the opposite."
— Idris Elba, actor, producer, musician, DJ
— Will Smith
"As much as anything, the trajectory of (Francis Ford) Coppola’s career has been determined by failure. I won’t go too deeply into his 1982 film, One from the Heart, other than to say it was a musical released in the age of punk, a love story released in the age of cynicism. In it, Coppola tried to capture the magic of theater, his first love. It’s not reality you expect from theater. It’s something else, something better. Another world. Artificial. Houses of marzipan. Colors too bright, lines too sharp. You look into it as you look into a jewel box. But people did not want lyricism in the early 1980s. They wanted grit. What’s more, Coppola had seemingly learned the wrong lessons from his experience. As the producer of American Graffiti, he had wanted to fund the thing and own it outright but was dissuaded. It went on to become one of the great moneymakers. Then Apocalypse Now, which had been written off by critics, was a great success. Which is partly why F.F.C. put his own money up for One from the Heart and then persisted through all the criticism from industry types. He was over-extended by the time it flopped, having borrowed millions from Chase Manhattan Bank. 'It was this dismal failure and I was on the hook for all of it,' he told me. 'I was going into bankruptcy, and everyone took such glee because they’re always predicting this profound failure, which was supposed to be Apocalypse. Apocalypse dodged the bullet somehow, so, when I made One from the Heart, it was like giving your opponent in Ping-Pong the perfect ball to smash. I was wiped out and only able to hang on by making a deal with Chase to pay off $22 million in 10 years. That meant I had to do a movie every year, and it changed my life. All those movies, Peggy Sue Got Married, The Outsiders, Dracula, and ultimately Godfather III, was me paying off the Chase Manhattan Bank.'"
— Rich Cohen, Vanity Fair
"I’m not afraid to fail. I’m not afraid to fall over and make a mistake. That often cripples people at the onset of getting into anything. The first time I picked up a DJ decks I was horrible, still am, but I'm not afraid of that, I'm not afraid of that feeling. It actually propels me and works quite the opposite."
— Idris Elba, actor, producer, musician, DJ
Saturday, June 23, 2018
Tracy Morgan was asked...
... "Did you learn something in the recovery process that hadn't occurred to you before? His answer: "Yeah: People care. People care a lot, that's what I learned. People care. There's so much negativity in the world that sometimes you feel like you could give up, and I had people who took care of me after the accident, and they never let me go. I feel it nowadays when I'm in the streets, when people say, 'We love you. We miss you. We pray for you. We are so thankful that you're on your feet.'"
In 2014, Morgan – best known for his work on Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock – was in a limo bus when it was rear-ended by a Wal-Mart tractor-trailer on the New Jersey Turnpike. The crash killed comedy writer James McNair. Morgan was badly injured and in a coma for two weeks.
In 2014, Morgan – best known for his work on Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock – was in a limo bus when it was rear-ended by a Wal-Mart tractor-trailer on the New Jersey Turnpike. The crash killed comedy writer James McNair. Morgan was badly injured and in a coma for two weeks.
Thursday, June 21, 2018
Retro M 'n' m – 2007-2008 – #3
November 2007
Little Megan is the sweetest thing ever. Unless she’s angry. Which is a bit too often. And she always takes her socks off. Like I could build a snow fort, and put her in it, and immediately she would set about grunting and trying to remove her boots and socks. This would be especially difficult with mittens on, but she is remarkably stubborn and ingenious and I wouldn't bet against her.
Meggie had a good Thanksgiving. I didn’t really pay attention to anyone else.
Michael asked Sara, “Are humans going to get extinct soon?” He is bright, perceptive, and inquisitive. And he’s more of a scientist than a cynic, by the way; I know it was a question born of curiosity more than fear or fatalism. Obviously. He’s four years old. He’s still an optimist! I’m kidding. I love him.
December 2007
Michael’s favorite song right now is “Thunderstruck.” Yes, ACDC. Attaboy!
The other night, after I delivered an especially spirited Christmas prayer, Michael asked me, “Daddy, is God real?” I said, “Yes, I believe God is real.” He must’ve sensed my answer wasn’t a slam-dunk affirmative. He clarified his question, “I mean, does God walk on two legs?” Oh. I smiled and said, "Sure, I think God can exist in many forms. In fact, maybe God walks on two legs inside all of us, and don't forget the reason we celebrate Christmas,"... but Michael interrupted me, very excited, “Or does God fly?!” It's important to remember that kids aren't theologians. We chatted about the possibilities, but mostly I told Michael we’ll discuss God more when he gets older, and he’ll arrive at his own thoughts and beliefs on the matter, and in the meantime we should love one another and be grateful for everything God has given us.
January 2008
Oh my sweet Megan. She’s a little chatterbox now and her voice is music. As long as she’s happy. That’s Megan as Bruce Banner. Megan as the Hulk is... unpleasant. She screams. She throws things, or knocks them over. She’s pretty combustible. But usually she’s a sweetheart. She gets less irritated now that he has more words to express herself; overall, she seems less frustrated. But being a toddler can’t be that bad. Consider the perks like naps and comfy pajamas. Megan seems more inquisitive now, too. She asks, “What ya workin’, Daddy?” Or, “What ya lookin’?” Or, if she hears a loud truck outside or an airplane overhead, she says, “I her dat!” She kind of looks around suspiciously, cautiously. When she says, “Pease, Daddy?” it’s hard to say no.
Michael and I play the “I love you more than…” game once in a while. I say, “Michael, I love you more than all the Blue Whales.” This is a good one, of course, because Michael informed me that Blue Whales are the biggest animals in the world! Last night, however, I tried something different: I said, “Michael, I love you so much that when you were born, I cried, I was SO happy, I cried like crazy, more than you did in the first hour of your life, the first hour I could see you and hold you.” I thought maybe I’d only confused Michael, but he said, “Daddy, I know you were the guy who made me come out of Mommy’s tummy.” I said, “How do you know that?” He said, “Because I saw pictures.” Ah yes, pictures from the hospital. I explained that doctors were involved too. Then I changed the subject.
Megan is the cutest thing ever, but her diapers are very stinky. At least she warns us now, “I’m poopy, I got poopy out of my bottom.” Okay, Sweetheart, gimme a minute to prepare myself...
Meggie’s a good talker now but she doesn’t always make sense. Yesterday, we had this exchange:
Meggie: I took my socks off, Daddy.
Daddy: I know, Honey. Why do you always do that?
Meggie: Because it’s cold outside.
I went to the bookstore with the kids last weekend. I explained – to Michael mostly – that the three of us would stay together. That meant, to avoid separating, we might look at books Meggie likes first, then books Michael likes, then books that Daddy likes. Michael was frustrated by this, “Well, uh, well, I don't like princesses and I am allowed to NOT look at a princess book if Meggie finds one!” Fair enough. I agreed that was perfectly fine.
Michael has seen and read how animals kill each other, how they hunt, fight, protect their young, and so on. He knows killer whales and sharks attack seals; he knows lions and cheetahs run down all kinds of prey. So I wasn't too surprised when I heard him narrating dialogue between two plastic dinosaur toys like this: “Hi, I’m a Protoceratops and I’m going to kill you now, Lambeosaurus!” I told Michael to go easy on the “I’m going to kill you!” storylines. I emphasized how it’s especially not nice to use language like that in stories about people. Maybe they just fight and wrestle or something. Of course, the next play-story I heard Michael narrating went like this: “Watch out Brachiosaurus! Here comes T-Rex to make you not alive anymore!”
Little Megan is the sweetest thing ever. Unless she’s angry. Which is a bit too often. And she always takes her socks off. Like I could build a snow fort, and put her in it, and immediately she would set about grunting and trying to remove her boots and socks. This would be especially difficult with mittens on, but she is remarkably stubborn and ingenious and I wouldn't bet against her.
Meggie had a good Thanksgiving. I didn’t really pay attention to anyone else.
Michael asked Sara, “Are humans going to get extinct soon?” He is bright, perceptive, and inquisitive. And he’s more of a scientist than a cynic, by the way; I know it was a question born of curiosity more than fear or fatalism. Obviously. He’s four years old. He’s still an optimist! I’m kidding. I love him.
December 2007
Michael’s favorite song right now is “Thunderstruck.” Yes, ACDC. Attaboy!
The other night, after I delivered an especially spirited Christmas prayer, Michael asked me, “Daddy, is God real?” I said, “Yes, I believe God is real.” He must’ve sensed my answer wasn’t a slam-dunk affirmative. He clarified his question, “I mean, does God walk on two legs?” Oh. I smiled and said, "Sure, I think God can exist in many forms. In fact, maybe God walks on two legs inside all of us, and don't forget the reason we celebrate Christmas,"... but Michael interrupted me, very excited, “Or does God fly?!” It's important to remember that kids aren't theologians. We chatted about the possibilities, but mostly I told Michael we’ll discuss God more when he gets older, and he’ll arrive at his own thoughts and beliefs on the matter, and in the meantime we should love one another and be grateful for everything God has given us.
January 2008
Oh my sweet Megan. She’s a little chatterbox now and her voice is music. As long as she’s happy. That’s Megan as Bruce Banner. Megan as the Hulk is... unpleasant. She screams. She throws things, or knocks them over. She’s pretty combustible. But usually she’s a sweetheart. She gets less irritated now that he has more words to express herself; overall, she seems less frustrated. But being a toddler can’t be that bad. Consider the perks like naps and comfy pajamas. Megan seems more inquisitive now, too. She asks, “What ya workin’, Daddy?” Or, “What ya lookin’?” Or, if she hears a loud truck outside or an airplane overhead, she says, “I her dat!” She kind of looks around suspiciously, cautiously. When she says, “Pease, Daddy?” it’s hard to say no.
Michael and I play the “I love you more than…” game once in a while. I say, “Michael, I love you more than all the Blue Whales.” This is a good one, of course, because Michael informed me that Blue Whales are the biggest animals in the world! Last night, however, I tried something different: I said, “Michael, I love you so much that when you were born, I cried, I was SO happy, I cried like crazy, more than you did in the first hour of your life, the first hour I could see you and hold you.” I thought maybe I’d only confused Michael, but he said, “Daddy, I know you were the guy who made me come out of Mommy’s tummy.” I said, “How do you know that?” He said, “Because I saw pictures.” Ah yes, pictures from the hospital. I explained that doctors were involved too. Then I changed the subject.
Megan is the cutest thing ever, but her diapers are very stinky. At least she warns us now, “I’m poopy, I got poopy out of my bottom.” Okay, Sweetheart, gimme a minute to prepare myself...
Meggie’s a good talker now but she doesn’t always make sense. Yesterday, we had this exchange:
Meggie: I took my socks off, Daddy.
Daddy: I know, Honey. Why do you always do that?
Meggie: Because it’s cold outside.
I went to the bookstore with the kids last weekend. I explained – to Michael mostly – that the three of us would stay together. That meant, to avoid separating, we might look at books Meggie likes first, then books Michael likes, then books that Daddy likes. Michael was frustrated by this, “Well, uh, well, I don't like princesses and I am allowed to NOT look at a princess book if Meggie finds one!” Fair enough. I agreed that was perfectly fine.
Michael has seen and read how animals kill each other, how they hunt, fight, protect their young, and so on. He knows killer whales and sharks attack seals; he knows lions and cheetahs run down all kinds of prey. So I wasn't too surprised when I heard him narrating dialogue between two plastic dinosaur toys like this: “Hi, I’m a Protoceratops and I’m going to kill you now, Lambeosaurus!” I told Michael to go easy on the “I’m going to kill you!” storylines. I emphasized how it’s especially not nice to use language like that in stories about people. Maybe they just fight and wrestle or something. Of course, the next play-story I heard Michael narrating went like this: “Watch out Brachiosaurus! Here comes T-Rex to make you not alive anymore!”
Friday, June 15, 2018
Stuff About Things #24
"I find that most of the time our obsession with what
is wrong just breeds more wrong, more failure. The easiest way to
dissect success is through gratitude, giving thanks for what we DO have,
for what IS working, appreciating the simple things we sometimes take
for granted. We give thanks for these things, and that gratitude
RECIPROCATES, creating more to be thankful for. It's really simple and
it works.... It's a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates."
— Matthew McConaughey
"Thinking about solutions is more energizing than thinking about problems."
— Unknown
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."
— Albert Camus
"The noblest art is that of making others happy."
— P. T. Barnum
"All know the way, but few actually walk it."
— Bodhidharma
"Whenever I make a bum decision, I just go out and make another."
— Harry Truman
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
— Dalai Lama
"Accept who you are and revel in it."
— Mitch Albom
"Suffering is given to you that you might open your eyes to the truth."
— Anthony de Mello
"We stumble and fall constantly, even when we are most enlightened."
— Thomas Merton
"The wound is the place where the light enters you."
— Rumi
"Thought can organize the world so well that you are no longer able to see it."
— Anthony de Mello
"Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you."
— Anthony de Mello
"As soon as you look at the world through an ideology you are finished. No reality fits an ideology. Life is beyond that.... Life only makes sense when you perceive it as mystery and it makes no sense to the conceptualizing mind.... Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one's awareness of one's ignorance.... If what you seek is Truth, there is one thing you must have above all else... an unremitting readiness to admit you may be wrong."
— Anthony de Mello
"The search for the truth is more precious than its possession."
— Albert Einstein
"I believe that the pursuit of truth and right ideas through honest debate and rigorous argument is a noble undertaking. I am grateful to have played a small role in the conversations that have helped guide this extraordinary nation's destiny."
— Charles Krauthammer
"Conventional opinion is the ruin of our souls."
— Rumi
"Burdens are the foundations of ease and bitter things the forerunners of pleasure."
— Rumi
"The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come."
— Joseph Campbell
"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often."
— Winston Churchill
"A smooth see never made a skilled sailor."
— Franklin D. Roosevelt
"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning to how to sail my ship."
— Louisa May Alcott
"If you don't risk anything, you risk even more."
— Erica Jong
"People always ask me, 'Where do you find inspiration?' and I think it's a difficult question to answer because - everywhere."
— Kate Spade
"I'm not afraid to look like an idiot."
— Anthony Bourdain
— Matthew McConaughey
"Thinking about solutions is more energizing than thinking about problems."
— Unknown
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."
— Albert Camus
"The noblest art is that of making others happy."
— P. T. Barnum
"All know the way, but few actually walk it."
— Bodhidharma
"Whenever I make a bum decision, I just go out and make another."
— Harry Truman
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
— Dalai Lama
"Accept who you are and revel in it."
— Mitch Albom
"Suffering is given to you that you might open your eyes to the truth."
— Anthony de Mello
"We stumble and fall constantly, even when we are most enlightened."
— Thomas Merton
"The wound is the place where the light enters you."
— Rumi
"Thought can organize the world so well that you are no longer able to see it."
— Anthony de Mello
"Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you."
— Anthony de Mello
"As soon as you look at the world through an ideology you are finished. No reality fits an ideology. Life is beyond that.... Life only makes sense when you perceive it as mystery and it makes no sense to the conceptualizing mind.... Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one's awareness of one's ignorance.... If what you seek is Truth, there is one thing you must have above all else... an unremitting readiness to admit you may be wrong."
— Anthony de Mello
"The search for the truth is more precious than its possession."
— Albert Einstein
"I believe that the pursuit of truth and right ideas through honest debate and rigorous argument is a noble undertaking. I am grateful to have played a small role in the conversations that have helped guide this extraordinary nation's destiny."
— Charles Krauthammer
"Conventional opinion is the ruin of our souls."
— Rumi
"Burdens are the foundations of ease and bitter things the forerunners of pleasure."
— Rumi
"The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come."
— Joseph Campbell
"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often."
— Winston Churchill
"A smooth see never made a skilled sailor."
— Franklin D. Roosevelt
"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning to how to sail my ship."
— Louisa May Alcott
"If you don't risk anything, you risk even more."
— Erica Jong
"People always ask me, 'Where do you find inspiration?' and I think it's a difficult question to answer because - everywhere."
— Kate Spade
"I'm not afraid to look like an idiot."
— Anthony Bourdain
Monday, June 11, 2018
I miss moments like these...
This isn't me or Meg-Pie. It's a pic I stared at for a long time in a magazine, because not long ago this was me and Meg-Pie; it was a regular occurrence and the best thing ever and I miss it...
Friday, June 8, 2018
Stuff About Things #23
"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
— Rudyard Kipling
"Loosen the bonds of greed from your hands and neck."
— Rumi
"Conceit is an unusual disease; it makes everyone sick but the one who has it."
— James Dobson
"He who wishes to be rich in a day will be hanged in a year."
— Leonardo da Vinci
"If you win the rat race, you're still a rat."
— Lily Tomlin
"Fortunate is he who doesn't carry envy as a companion."
— Rumi
"Envy is a defect, worse than any other."
— Rumi
"Envy is ignorance. Imitation is suicide."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Convictions are more dangerous than lies."
— Nietzsche
"We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons."
— George Washington
"We either step forward into growth, or we step back into safety."
— Abraham Maslow
"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and it's not the same man."
— Heraclitus, 5th century Greek philosopher
"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do."
— Henry Ford
"We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths; in feelings, not figures."
— Aristotle
"Wise is a person whose undertakings are free from anxiety about results."
— Krishna, The Bhagavad Gita
"The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
— Calvin Coolidge
"Willpower is the key to success."
— Dan Millman
"We hardly ever realize that we can cut anything out of our lives, anytime, in the blink of an eye."
— Carlos Castaneda
"There is only one way to achieve prosperity. It is to take charge of your mind."
— Eric Butterworth
"Imaginary obstacles are insurmountable. Real ones aren't."
— Barbara Sher
"Appropriate rituals channel your emotions and life energy toward the light. Without the discipline to practice them, you will tumble constantly backward into darkness."
— Lao Tzu
"Victory belongs to the most persevering."
— Napoleon
"I love men who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress."
— Thomas Paine
"When a problem comes along, you must whip it."
— Devo
— Rudyard Kipling
"Loosen the bonds of greed from your hands and neck."
— Rumi
"Conceit is an unusual disease; it makes everyone sick but the one who has it."
— James Dobson
"He who wishes to be rich in a day will be hanged in a year."
— Leonardo da Vinci
"If you win the rat race, you're still a rat."
— Lily Tomlin
"Fortunate is he who doesn't carry envy as a companion."
— Rumi
"Envy is a defect, worse than any other."
— Rumi
"Envy is ignorance. Imitation is suicide."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Convictions are more dangerous than lies."
— Nietzsche
"We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons."
— George Washington
"We either step forward into growth, or we step back into safety."
— Abraham Maslow
"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and it's not the same man."
— Heraclitus, 5th century Greek philosopher
"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do."
— Henry Ford
"We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths; in feelings, not figures."
— Aristotle
"Wise is a person whose undertakings are free from anxiety about results."
— Krishna, The Bhagavad Gita
"The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."
— Calvin Coolidge
"Willpower is the key to success."
— Dan Millman
"We hardly ever realize that we can cut anything out of our lives, anytime, in the blink of an eye."
— Carlos Castaneda
"There is only one way to achieve prosperity. It is to take charge of your mind."
— Eric Butterworth
"Imaginary obstacles are insurmountable. Real ones aren't."
— Barbara Sher
"Appropriate rituals channel your emotions and life energy toward the light. Without the discipline to practice them, you will tumble constantly backward into darkness."
— Lao Tzu
"Victory belongs to the most persevering."
— Napoleon
"I love men who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress."
— Thomas Paine
"When a problem comes along, you must whip it."
— Devo
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Michael and I listened to...
... a YouTube documentary about Alexander the Great. We had a longish drive to his soccer game yesterday. Michael asked a good question, "How do they know what happened like two thousand years ago?" I tried to be funny, "That's right, 350 BC was before the internet." I'm too dry for Michael. "Kings, emperors, pharaohs couldn't even tweet." Michael: nothing. So I told him even ancient societies – like the Greeks, Macedonians, Egyptians, Persians – had historians, orators, artists, performers, traditions, rituals, poets, bards, craftsmen, scribes, and, you know, ways of keeping a public record and passing info to future generations. They told stories. They sang songs. Then the documentary explained how Alexander's father's tomb was discovered in 1977. It was undisturbed since antiquity and full of informative artifacts. That's cool shit, dude. Michael agrees. I think. And there was a lot of commentary on the influence of Alexander's parents. I guess parenting, whether good or bad, is impactful.... And, my favorite part: It seems Alexander, the warrior extraordinaire, was also a book-lover.
“Alexander was a boy of incredible intellect. His favorite author was Homer. And he regularly slept with a copy of Homer’s poems at his bedside.”
“Alexander was a boy of incredible intellect. His favorite author was Homer. And he regularly slept with a copy of Homer’s poems at his bedside.”
— History Channel documentary
“Some of Alexander's strongest personality traits formed in
response to his parents. His mother had huge ambitions, and encouraged him to
believe it was his destiny to conquer the Persian Empire. Olympias'
influence instilled a sense of destiny in him, and Plutarch tells how his
ambition ‘kept his spirit serious and lofty in advance of his years.’ However,
his father Philip was Alexander's most immediate and influential role model, as
the young Alexander watched him campaign practically every year, winning
victory after victory while ignoring severe wounds. Alexander's relationship
with his father forged the competitive side of his personality; he had a need
to out-do his father, illustrated by his reckless behavior in battle…. While
Alexander worried that his father would leave him 'no great or brilliant
achievement to be displayed to the world,' he also downplayed his father's
achievements to his companions. According to Plutarch, among Alexander's traits
were a violent temper and rash, impulsive nature, which undoubtedly contributed
to some of his decisions. Although Alexander was stubborn and did not respond
well to orders from his father, he was open to reasoned debate. He had a calmer
side – perceptive, logical, and calculating. He had a great desire for knowledge,
a love for philosophy, and was an avid reader. This was no doubt in part due to
Aristotle's tutelage; Alexander was intelligent and quick to learn. His
intelligent and rational side was amply demonstrated by his ability and success
as a general. He had great self-restraint in 'pleasures of the
body,' in contrast with his lack of self-control with alcohol....
Alexander was erudite and patronized both arts and sciences. However, he
had little interest in sports or the Olympic games (unlike his
father), seeking only the Homeric ideals of honor and glory. He had great charisma and force of personality, characteristics which made
him a great leader. His unique abilities were further demonstrated by the
inability of any of his generals to unite Macedonia and retain the Empire after
his death – only Alexander had the ability to do so…. Aristotle taught
Alexander and his companions about medicine, philosophy, morals, religion,
logic, and art. Under Aristotle's tutelage, Alexander developed a passion for
the works of Homer, and in particular the Iliad; Aristotle gave him
an annotated copy, which Alexander later carried on his campaigns."
— Wikipedia
"Alexander earned the epithet 'the Great' due to his unparalleled success as a military commander. He never lost a battle, despite typically being outnumbered. This was due to his use of terrain, phalanx and cavalry tactics, bold strategy, and the fierce loyalty of his troops.... Alexander also recognized the potential for disunity among his diverse army, which employed various languages and weapons. He overcame this by being personally involved in battle.... He is often ranked among the most influential people in history."
"Alexander earned the epithet 'the Great' due to his unparalleled success as a military commander. He never lost a battle, despite typically being outnumbered. This was due to his use of terrain, phalanx and cavalry tactics, bold strategy, and the fierce loyalty of his troops.... Alexander also recognized the potential for disunity among his diverse army, which employed various languages and weapons. He overcame this by being personally involved in battle.... He is often ranked among the most influential people in history."
— Wikipedia
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