#354

The most professionally successful person I know is also the most impulsive. He's a dynamo, a titan, whatever the trendy word is, but his impulsivity is titanic also. A prominent person in the lives of M 'n' m, I thought of him when I read this quote from Baltasar Gracian: "Let the first impulse pass. Wait for the second." ... And yet, how can I suggest impulsivity is something – for M 'n' m, I mean – that needs restraining or softening in every sense? The guy I'm referring to always compulsively worked his butt off, starting off every day knocking out tasks, checking things off his many professional and personal to-do lists, etcetera etcetera. He can be a force. Grandma is a workhorse too – uh-oh, have I given it away? – and she's not impulsive at all, so that muddies up the clear answer I was searching for in my little philosophical dissection here. And there's a pretty massive difference between teenagers and adults to consider. One group can act like a racecar without a driver, but the other, arguably, always acts like that. I guess this is the point where I say: if life was cut and dry and neat, it wouldn't be life at all. Just teach your kids to be impulsive about the right things. Easy, right? Whatever the case, I don't wish to entirely dispossess M 'n' m of any particular impulsivities. Yet.

From the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: "Many parents do not understand why their teenagers occasionally behave in an impulsive, irrational, or dangerous way. At times, it seems like teens don't think things through or fully consider the consequences of their actions. Adolescents differ from adults in the way they behave, solve problems, and make decisions. There is a biological explanation for this difference. Studies have shown that brains continue to mature and develop throughout childhood and adolescence and well into early adulthood. Scientists have identified a specific region of the brain called the amygdala that is responsible for immediate reactions including fear and aggressive behavior. This region develops early. However, the frontal cortex, the area of the brain that controls reasoning and helps us think before we act, develops later. This part of the brain is still changing and maturing well into adulthood.... Pictures of the brain in action show that adolescents' brains work differently than adults when they make decisions or solve problems. Their actions are guided more by the emotional and reactive amygdala and less by the thoughtful, logical frontal cortex. Research has also shown that exposure to drugs and alcohol during the teen years can change or delay these developments."

Great, they had to go and mention drugs and alcohol, on top of the rest. Life isn't cut and dry and it's full of wildcards.

Let's talk about good things....When I reflect and mine for great childhood memories with my parents – excepting those at school or only with friends – there are many, but it's interesting to see what commonly surfaces. And this, in turn, possibly reminds me what things M 'n' m may fondly recall. The 'childhood' ship has almost sailed for Michael; it will be unmoored very soon, but hopefully not rudderless, or frontal-cortex-less, or fond-memory-less. Here are some experiences and memories from my youth that I'm grateful for (grateful to my parents): Washington DC, Boston, the Badlands, Hawaii, San Antonio, lots of California, lots of Florida, Disney, every sports hall of fame, Niagara Falls, Summit County (Colorado), Mount Rushmore, the No. 10 Saloon, the Old North Bridge, Gettysburg, Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Salem (Mass. – that freaked me out a little but what a lesson), Ford's Theatre, Kennedy Space Center, every major attraction in the cities I mentioned, and on and on. Holidays were fantastic, and the support in school and sports. M 'n' m have that for sure. I wouldn't give myself a bad grade overall. I'll be able to paint a wall with my coaching plaques someday. But that is selfish; I enjoy coaching so much I see it as a gift from M 'n' m, not the other way around. But they owe me, so it all works out in the end...

And more good things, books.... there are three books that I've read, in my 40 plus years, that are so good I reread them backwards; well, not quite, but I pick them up, sniff and sigh happily, and crack them open anywhere, thumbing upstream or down, re-enjoying the bits I've underlined, starred, bracketed, and accidentally darkened with delicious food residue like chip-cheese and grease. They're just awesome stories, and the writing is like the richest thing you've ever eaten; they are: A Soldier of the Great War by Mark Helprin, City of Thieves by David Benioff, and Gentleman of the Road by Michael Chabon. I wonder what M 'n' m's 'three' will be in about twenty years?