#353

One the heels of mentioning love, let's talk about vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable; might as well embrace it. Pretty sure M 'n' m will have their hearts kicked around; happens to the best of us. Pretty sure M 'n' m will be vulnerable to mockery, needling, discomfort, insecurity, and minor embarrassment in social situations once in a while, especially involving anyone they're crushing on – is the term 'crush' even used in this century? – and I hope they handle it well, and still act and do and express (in all the ways that are fun, healthy, and legal I mean) as reward for not avoiding vulnerability. I like what Brendon Burchard says (I'm paraphrasing): "I realize fear and doubt aren't going to serve me in social situations.... and I choose to say, okay, I don't know how this will go, but I'm confident if I engage and talk, things will go fine, I might stick my foot in my mouth, say stupid things, but if they give me another three minutes, I'll turn it around.... Emotional health comes from vulnerability and vulnerability has gotten this weird rap in the world because a lot of people, I think, have been teaching it in a poor way.... Real vulnerability is voice.... Does the world know what you think? Do your friends and family know who you really are, and what you really feel, and what you're really after?"

Some people – Megan? – have zero hesitancy, and no filter or inhibitions, about expressing discontents, and God knows the world, myself included, is really good at oversharing these days, but I believe the vulnerability piece is about genuineness, authenticity, and the well-being that comes with finding and being true to yourself, and not being afraid to express the truths that you subscribe to, that inspire you, that inform the way you show up everyday to live. And love. It is okay to love things, and love other people. It's not just okay, it's good. Or, as the musician Ryan Adams says, “There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything. Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm. Never. Ever. Never.” Amen, brother.

Sharing – whether it's your writing, music, art, or any other hobby, love, or work – has a little to do with vulnerability. But it's also a lot about catharsis, and health, and sanity, and joy.

This from Sheryl Strayed, author of the book Wild and also famous for the terrific phrase, given in her advice column, "Write like a mother#^@%*&." Specifically, when asked by a woman named Elissa Bassist,“How does a woman get up and become the writer she wishes she’d be?” Strayed replied: “Writing is hard for every last one of us – straight white men included. Coal mining is harder. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig. You need to do the same.... So write, Elissa Bassist. Not like a girl. Not like a boy. Write like a motherfucker.”

"I would say the most cathartic thing in my life, right alongside motherhood, has been writing." — Cheryl Strayed