#308

Megan is officially a cellist, joining her brother. Her decision was cute and predictable. I often mention her adoration of Michael; she's proud to follow him this way. Michael, also predictably, has pretended not to notice. He's annoyed. His aloofness with Megan is a constant frustration for me, which is unsurprising since I trip over myself defending and doting on Meg-Pie. In this case though, I respect Michael's reaction. He's a bit young to want a pupil/protege, least of all his sister, and there's the part about his thunder being stolen. He's worked hard to play well, and we celebrate his music and orchestra events. I'll talk to him, urge him to keep the right perspective, namely that Megan's sky-high opinion of everything he does only elevates him. She thinks he's solid gold and why would anyone disagree?

I've been coaching for several years now. In a way, I'm paying it forward. Grandma and Papa were co-skippers during my first two basketball seasons. How cool is that? Two seasons with both parents as coaches (Grandma Barb was the most qualified; she played basketball in high school whereas Papa was a baseball and track star). And Papa coached several teams and seasons after that, baseball and basketball. So I'm lucky. I had other coaches, and other sports like flag football and soccer, but my folks were supportive and involved and, in my mind, left me with an enormous debt to pay forward to their grandchildren. And this, of course, is utter bullshit since I love coaching and it's entirely selfish and has nothing to do with debt or obligation. As expected, it's about the most rewarding thing I've ever undertaken. The feedback I get is positive, and genuinely so from players and parents alike; I don't think I'll ever stop. This means I'll have a roster without M 'n' m soon; they'll go to high school and fly the nest. Maybe coaching will stave off a creeping, ornery depression that threatens when they're gone. I'll only coach what I know from years and years of playing (baseball and basketball) and I'll bring an unusual optimism and confidence. My coaching philosophy is very simple: "No one cares what you know until they know how much you care." Amen.

Michael is only in 8th grade, but I'm starting to feel "the looming expanse of college," to steal a phrase from Vanity Fair. The looming expense of college is a concern also, but the expanse of it – which I interpret as the vastness of possibilities, opportunities, freedoms, decisions, momentums, inertias, trajectories, influences, and so on that college-aged people are faced with – is something that has my full attention. The college years are very formative. Education, career, and youthful energy are important. And so is self-discovery, which is another path we end up on whether we like it or not, when we're 17, 18... 20, 21 years old. And this one's a path that keeps twisting and turning and teaching – and throwing light where we want it and also where we don't – until we're 40, at least (I'll be 41 next week). It's all approaching very fast for Michael. Hey man, live and learn.

I read this in Vanity Fair about Rihanna, the popular singer and songwriter: "Rihanna, born Robyn Rihanna Fenty 27 years ago in Bridgewood, Barbados, grew up in a family so close-knit that her report card had to be taken around to every aunt and uncle, and if she didn't take it to them, they came over to the see it. She says that everybody knew how well every child did in school. You couldn't hide your failures; you had to face them. She memorized textbooks (her mother was very strict about grades) and played sports with her two younger brothers. But from an early age she was obsessed with music...." I know M 'n' m like Rihanna's music, and I love these details about her. I agree report cards are super-important, and if a certain spotlessness isn't attainable, improvement certainly is, and accountability, not excuses, is expected after letdowns; I was raised this way, too. And I love young Rihanna's closeness with extended family, her work ethic, and her well-roundedness (family, school, sports, and music).