Dad Entry #195

Megan still can't eat a chocolate donut without getting it all over her face. I love her so much.  

My children have taught me many things, and one of them is this: I am a terrible negotiator. Some parents say, "Ha, we run a tight ship, we never negotiate with our kids." Sure. Sounds good. I never adjust or acquiesce, never bargain or compromise, either. I wish. Totalitarian parenting, without repressing or crushing little souls, would be terrific, but I'm not capable. I believe parenting is a dictatorship, not a democracy, but a benevolent one, with room for occasional haggling. And so I'm taken advantage of, sometimes, and left exasperated and flummoxed. It's why I like sports; it's easier to know where you stand. Did you hit the ball into the woods or into the fairway? Did you make the shot or miss it? Hell if I know, when it comes to parenting.

I want my children to flourish. That's it. It's a buzzword in the positive psychology movement because it's a good word, flourish, as a sort of comprehensive and compelling aim. Are we hitting it into the woods or into the fairway? Are we flourishing? There will be some enduring, some obstacles, some sinking (accompanied, hopefully, by lessons in 'swimming'). Pain is a good teacher, but love is a better one. A little of the former, a lot of the latter. Same goes for failure and success; we need both for growth. And through it all, I want my kids to flourish.