#396

Michael is a musician. Five years of orchestra and two instruments – cello and upright bass – have built his chops, and the music programs at his high school are terrific, the bands, orchestras, choirs, musicals. He'll continue with orchestra – I assume, because he says so and he likes it – but he has a third instrument now. We were at a store called 'The Music Room' and he picked up a bass guitar, plugged into an amp, and began playing scales. I said, "You should have one." He nodded.

I'm a fan of the bass guitarist Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers). I forwarded Michael a few YouTube links. Also James Jamerson, Paul McCartney, John Paul Jones. That reminds me: Michael needs a stage name! Maybe the Gods of Rock will whisper it to him, and anoint him, and he shall rock-'n'-roll on earth and in the halls of Valhalla forever, amen. Sure, but the big thing for me: If learning and playing music put him in the zone, make time and pressure disappear, and inspire him to create, I support him one-thousand percent.

My wallet doesn't enjoy parenting as much as my heart and soul do. But who cares. I read a magazine article years ago, before M 'n' m, that put a dollar amount on the total cost of raising a child. It was a big number. I understood the number was variable, but the message was clear. I mentioned it to my dad at the time; I was an adult but not yet a parent. I said "Thank you" and also some version of, "Geez, sorry dude, that's an eye-popping, painful amount of money." My dad was amused and said, "I got a lot out of it too you know." Yes, now I know.

So Michael is playing high school baseball, club soccer, and learning a third instrument. He's busy but he seems happy and energized; his grades haven't suffered; his mood hasn't suffered. I think it's all good. I know burnout can happen, and we talk about kids being over-scheduled, but I think high-schoolers have always been busy, they should be busy, they're built for busy, whether working, studying, practicing, performing, competing, creating, exploring, caring for siblings or others. Michael does hours and hours of homework also, but he doesn't complain. I despise hypocrisy and I don't think I'm guilty of it here; my high school friends and I played multiple sports, did extra activities at school or at church or with our families, and we did mountains of homework too. So there! Of course, I know times change. I know high school was 25 years ago for me. I try to dialogue with Michael a lot. Which can be like pulling teeth. He's a teenager. One-word answers, one after another. Oh well. I'm doing my best. I know he is too.