#382

Megan struggled to find an outfit for school yesterday. She was frustrated and blamed me, "Dad, you haven't done my laundry since the Paleozoic Era." Wow, good one. I said, "So it's been a million years?" She said, "At least." We looked it up. 250 million years, to be precise, give or take a few million. That's some nasty laundry. Actually, not true; after that long, it would be dust (only Twinkies last a quarter-billion years). Her clothes would be out of style anyway, if by some miracle intact. This isn't like jean jackets, platform boots, leg warmers, whatever makes a comeback from the '70s and '80s. These clothes belong at toga parties now, Halloween, museums.

As always, I 'm only entertaining myself – although I've had hundreds of readers lately and I appreciate that – and I was thinking about important and sophisticated things like foods fiercely opposed to decomposition, e.g. Twinkies, and I thought of... TV dinners. They were kind of a treat when I was a kid. So was a movie on TV like The Wizard of Oz (the 1939 version). This was before VCRs and video rental, before a new movie came out every second. For TV dinners we'd have Salisbury steak or Hungry-Man fried chicken. It makes me sad that M 'n' m have never scraped a brownie out of a tinfoil TV-dinner tray. Now everything is microwavable and plated in paper. You could poke holes in, bend, and crumple tinfoil. Grease was more fun on metal. That's how I remember it. I inflate and distort memories, but life was simpler and better for it. Kids today have so much they have less. And I don't want M 'n' m and the next generation to have 'less.' 

I was interested, inspired, comforted, something, to hear that Bear Grylls – the SAS commando and sufferer of a parachuting accident that broke his back, among other toughnesses – is afraid of something. What scares him? Cocktail parties. That makes sense to me. Sometimes I thrive in social situations; sometimes I'm overwhelmed, awkward, overeager to be accepted and liked. I try too hard to please, to be nice, to be witty. (I suppose that's obvious; it's what I do here.) But I realize now – and I want M 'n' m to know – that other people are more worried about themselves (than you) in those situations, and that's fine and normal; they're judging themselves more than you. Relax. Be kind, calm, confident, stay within yourself. Even the seemingly over-comfortable and self-assured at cocktail parties have insecurities to mask, although they may be more evolved and practiced (than I am, at least). And that's okay. Of course, the other extreme exists: people who genuinely have limited interpersonal self-awareness (either by excessive personality or medical condition) but I don't think M 'n' m – or many teenagers, for that matter – fit this description; they worry about how they're perceived. Hopefully, young people are forming good values, and beginning to understand their strengths and weaknesses. Self-examining this way is a lifelong process – if you ask me – but it's a useful and meaningful one. My uncle Kirby always told his kids, before they left the house for a night out, "Don't forget who you are." I love that.