I can sympathize – or empathize; maybe it's not something to pity – with people who feel like they've never 'grown up.' Or entirely grown up, at least; we're somewhere in the process. We're just in need of more growth, confidence, courage. But we retain some good qualities perhaps, in this place, if you will. Larry King talks about this – his youthful enthusiasm and curiosity is un-dampened by age; at 84 he's still a teenager – as do people like Joe Maddon, actor Kyle Chandler, and many others. It takes some humility and self-awareness to admit this, also possibly frustration with the pretenders or try-too-hard-ers among us. Too often we see the awkward or unbridled adolescent in the VIPs of the world. But God bless 'em, because people DO have to step up with leadership and authority sometimes, when others won't, and it's not easy; it takes courage, will, strength. Of course, when bluster and bullshit reach a kind of critical mass, I remind myself I'm not the only one with immature fears, insecurities, submissive tendencies, averseness to conflict, times when I freeze when I should do something (behaviors and feelings I equate – perhaps erroneously! – with the young and inexperienced). We know posturing and chest-thumping sometimes is nothing but insecurity. I'm terrified of giving that impression, but that's no excuse to shrink, either. For many reasons I guess, I don't pretend to know what the hell I'm doing, I only profess to do 'my best' or whatever, and this can seem and sound very weak! There's a balance. I'm searching for it every day. We all have a lot to learn, witness, endure, enjoy – right? – if we're to get some sort of TOTAL human experience? Several great thinkers, philosophers, important and accomplished people have stated in one form or another: the beginning of knowledge is to realize how little you know.... In the grand scheme, we have a ways to go. Or something like that. Look at the wars. Look at the stars. (We can't get to any but a few.) Look at loved ones with illnesses we can't cure. Lots to learn. But we've done pretty well to this point in history; 'the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice' ... I truly believe that humanity trends the right way, and I'll stand up for that view, that statement like an adult!
I love this from Dickens who speaks of not losing good qualities from childhood, such as 'a certain freshness, and gentleness, and capacity of being pleased.' I think these are essential, and I pray we all retain them. It's like we need a mix of childlike and adult qualities both – is that too obvious of a statement?! Yes, apologies – because, well, Lord of the Flies and the fact children can be very cruel, also. Whatever the case, from Charles Dickens's novel David Copperfield:
"This may be a fancy, though I think the memory of most of us can go farther back into such times than many of us suppose; just as I believe the power of observation in numbers of very young children to be quite wonderful for its closeness and accuracy. Indeed, I think that most grown men who are remarkable in this respect, may with greater propriety be said not to have lost the faculty, than to have acquired it; the rather, as I generally observe such men to retain a certain freshness, and gentleness, and capacity of being pleased, which are also an inheritance they have preserved from their childhood."
I hope M 'n' m 'preserve' some good qualities from their childhood, and I hope they have an accurate awareness of who they are, and how they are, and how they fit into the world, from this perspective or spectrum of human growth and experience. Although I'm not even sure if there is such a thing as 'accurate' when talking about how we are perceived by ourselves and others. Are perceptions reality? Uh, I'm going to swim back to shore now...
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
Friday, August 25, 2017
#370
And they're off! Michael to 9th, Megan to 6th. Michael is pretty slammed: school, soccer, orchestra, fall baseball... I will get to know him again this weekend. It's Megan's last year at a grade school I love. I was there last night giving hugs and meeting Megan's teacher who, incidentally, had Michael a few years ago. Awesome.
Michael seems... searching for a good word here... he seems very 'level' lately; it's maybe a good place to be, not manic, not passive (although he's a tad lethargic at times – but I know he's very busy and tired when the day ends at home) and overall I'd say he's been cool, calm, collected, easy-going this year... and yet I know that can't exactly be true. Because he's a high-schooler now! It's an intense time. Emotions run high, don't they? I remember that being so. Emotions and experiences that are newish and concentrated present themselves; seemingly more impactful relative to earlier, younger moments involving challenges, crushes, craziness, adventures, adrenaline, insecurities, love, loss, mystery, novelty, danger, fear, etcetera etcetera!!
As a soon-to-be father of two teenagers – m will join M in teenagerhood next year – I have reflected a lot lately on the speed of life. My conclusion? Uh, it's fast. Or, better said, by none other than Chicagoan Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Jeanette, who was raised in the city and took the Blue Line ("L" train) to Whitney Young High School everyday, thinks Ferris is fun and all, but he's a sheltered suburbanite at best. She's right. I was a suburbanite also; there is in fact a difference, but only a big one (as I like say). "Chicago-suburbanite Ferris Bueller" doesn't sound as slick. I recall Ferris's street smarts were a bit lacking also; think of the Ferrari flying out of the garage as soon as Ferris cheerfully handed it over, after telling Cameron, "Will you calm down please, I'm gonna give the guy a fiver to watch it." M 'n' m love the city and get down here regularly; joining me at work on occasion is one way. Here's my view from work today, from the rooftop, not my desk, but still:
Michael seems... searching for a good word here... he seems very 'level' lately; it's maybe a good place to be, not manic, not passive (although he's a tad lethargic at times – but I know he's very busy and tired when the day ends at home) and overall I'd say he's been cool, calm, collected, easy-going this year... and yet I know that can't exactly be true. Because he's a high-schooler now! It's an intense time. Emotions run high, don't they? I remember that being so. Emotions and experiences that are newish and concentrated present themselves; seemingly more impactful relative to earlier, younger moments involving challenges, crushes, craziness, adventures, adrenaline, insecurities, love, loss, mystery, novelty, danger, fear, etcetera etcetera!!
As a soon-to-be father of two teenagers – m will join M in teenagerhood next year – I have reflected a lot lately on the speed of life. My conclusion? Uh, it's fast. Or, better said, by none other than Chicagoan Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Jeanette, who was raised in the city and took the Blue Line ("L" train) to Whitney Young High School everyday, thinks Ferris is fun and all, but he's a sheltered suburbanite at best. She's right. I was a suburbanite also; there is in fact a difference, but only a big one (as I like say). "Chicago-suburbanite Ferris Bueller" doesn't sound as slick. I recall Ferris's street smarts were a bit lacking also; think of the Ferrari flying out of the garage as soon as Ferris cheerfully handed it over, after telling Cameron, "Will you calm down please, I'm gonna give the guy a fiver to watch it." M 'n' m love the city and get down here regularly; joining me at work on occasion is one way. Here's my view from work today, from the rooftop, not my desk, but still:
Friday, August 18, 2017
Stuff About Things #3
"In the mystifying world that was Victorian parenthood, obedience took precedence over all considerations of affection and happiness, and that odd, painful conviction remained the case in most well-heeled homes up until at least the time of the First World War.... By withholding affection to children when they were young, but also then endeavoring to control their behavior well into adulthood, Victorians were in the very odd position of simultaneously trying to suppress childhood and make it last forever. It is perhaps little wonder that the end of Victorianism almost exactly coincided with the invention of psychoanalysis.
— Bill Bryson, At Home
"I was born in the United States, first-generation Cuban American. My family would always tell me the opportunity I had, to be part of a country that gives you freedom, give you the opportunity to control your own destiny, and, more than anything, allows you to be whatever you want to be."
— Pitbull
When Pitbull was five years old, his father took him to bars and had him recite poems by the 19th-century Cuban revolutionary philosopher, journalist, and poet Jose Marti. "That was the first time I saw how powerful words were," Pitbull says. "We're a culture that likes to talk a lot. We have a lot of sayings. Words mean a lot."
"A grain of poetry suffices to season a century."
— Jose Marti
"It is necessary to make virtue fashionable."
— Jose Marti
"I always say it takes a little bit of crazy to keep the big crazy away."
— Mike Edison
Jason Kidd, always a student of the game, dissected film for hours, carefully watching the style and technique of players like Gary Payton and Chris Mullin. Chris was notorious for not being the fastest guy on the court, but he spotted opponents' tendencies, understood angles, and learned the tricks of the trade. Kidd learned all those tricks and wrote a few of his own. You nudge an opponent - soft enough not to foul him, but strong enough to throw off his shot. As players take a shot, they almost always bring the ball back to the same spot - where Kidd, anticipating this, can slap it away. Some opponents don't like to be touched. Others don't like space. With this knowledge, and his positioning on the floor, Kidd can frustrate, disrupt, and solidly defend, even as he ages and loses a bit of the speed and explosiveness he once had. (from Men's Fitness magazine)
"Don't give in to the immediate gratification that is whispering in your ear. SHUT THAT DOWN.... Stay on the warpath. Rest tomorrow. And when you get knocked down, get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage.... The reality is: Discipline is your best friend."
— Jocko Willink
Self-talk and visualization are key.
"Inversions, like headstands, have always been really hard for me. It's weird having my feet over my head - it's a trust thing. My yoga teacher said, "Don't be afraid to teeter; you'll find your balance," and that really resonated with me. That's how life is: I'm going to go back and forth, I'll have good times and bad times, but I will find my balance."
— Demi Runas, LPGA golfer
"It is always a privilege to be in a deer camp and to witness the old rituals that never get old: a boy too excited to sleep the night before opening day; a father who remembers that feeling and so loves his son that he'd forgo a pay raise to help him succeed."
— Bill Heavey
"You think the backstage was crazy 12 years ago? You should see it now, man. Our kids can tear up a backstage faster than AC/DC ever could.... I just wanna get home safe now; I just wanna play my music and go home.... I don't know what I'm gonna say when that first tattoo walks in the house, or I find that pack of cigarettes, or whatever it is; I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."
— Dave Grohl, "the nicest guy in rock 'n' roll" in a 60 Minutes interview, smiling, talking about his three young daughters; all the guys in Foo Fighters have kids now
Don't try to be interesting; be interested.
"I decided to stop thinking ahead.... I would give this mission my everything. I would commit to slogging my guts out twenty-four hours of every day until my eyes bled. I would consider anything short of this to be a bonus. At least that should manage my expectations."
— Bear Grylls, Mud, Sweat, and Tears
Expect. That will surely ruin everything.
To expect is to diminish.
"I can remain focused on, and suffer for, the big thing longer than anyone else."
— Tommy Caldwell
"History is a set of lies that people have agreed upon."
— Napoleon
Most negotiation is done in silence.
"A place of peace is a place of power."
— Joel Osteen
"I think of him as a complete person. He has his adult side and his childish side, his male and his female side. He has everything.... He has this wonderful spirit."
— Michael Crichton talking about his friend Sean Connery
"We were feeling tired and great."
— Jack Kerouac
"Grasp the subject, the words will follow."
— Kato the Elder
— Bill Bryson, At Home
"I was born in the United States, first-generation Cuban American. My family would always tell me the opportunity I had, to be part of a country that gives you freedom, give you the opportunity to control your own destiny, and, more than anything, allows you to be whatever you want to be."
— Pitbull
When Pitbull was five years old, his father took him to bars and had him recite poems by the 19th-century Cuban revolutionary philosopher, journalist, and poet Jose Marti. "That was the first time I saw how powerful words were," Pitbull says. "We're a culture that likes to talk a lot. We have a lot of sayings. Words mean a lot."
"A grain of poetry suffices to season a century."
— Jose Marti
"It is necessary to make virtue fashionable."
— Jose Marti
"I always say it takes a little bit of crazy to keep the big crazy away."
— Mike Edison
Jason Kidd, always a student of the game, dissected film for hours, carefully watching the style and technique of players like Gary Payton and Chris Mullin. Chris was notorious for not being the fastest guy on the court, but he spotted opponents' tendencies, understood angles, and learned the tricks of the trade. Kidd learned all those tricks and wrote a few of his own. You nudge an opponent - soft enough not to foul him, but strong enough to throw off his shot. As players take a shot, they almost always bring the ball back to the same spot - where Kidd, anticipating this, can slap it away. Some opponents don't like to be touched. Others don't like space. With this knowledge, and his positioning on the floor, Kidd can frustrate, disrupt, and solidly defend, even as he ages and loses a bit of the speed and explosiveness he once had. (from Men's Fitness magazine)
"Don't give in to the immediate gratification that is whispering in your ear. SHUT THAT DOWN.... Stay on the warpath. Rest tomorrow. And when you get knocked down, get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage.... The reality is: Discipline is your best friend."
— Jocko Willink
Self-talk and visualization are key.
"Inversions, like headstands, have always been really hard for me. It's weird having my feet over my head - it's a trust thing. My yoga teacher said, "Don't be afraid to teeter; you'll find your balance," and that really resonated with me. That's how life is: I'm going to go back and forth, I'll have good times and bad times, but I will find my balance."
— Demi Runas, LPGA golfer
"It is always a privilege to be in a deer camp and to witness the old rituals that never get old: a boy too excited to sleep the night before opening day; a father who remembers that feeling and so loves his son that he'd forgo a pay raise to help him succeed."
— Bill Heavey
"You think the backstage was crazy 12 years ago? You should see it now, man. Our kids can tear up a backstage faster than AC/DC ever could.... I just wanna get home safe now; I just wanna play my music and go home.... I don't know what I'm gonna say when that first tattoo walks in the house, or I find that pack of cigarettes, or whatever it is; I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."
— Dave Grohl, "the nicest guy in rock 'n' roll" in a 60 Minutes interview, smiling, talking about his three young daughters; all the guys in Foo Fighters have kids now
Don't try to be interesting; be interested.
"I decided to stop thinking ahead.... I would give this mission my everything. I would commit to slogging my guts out twenty-four hours of every day until my eyes bled. I would consider anything short of this to be a bonus. At least that should manage my expectations."
— Bear Grylls, Mud, Sweat, and Tears
Expect. That will surely ruin everything.
To expect is to diminish.
"I can remain focused on, and suffer for, the big thing longer than anyone else."
— Tommy Caldwell
"History is a set of lies that people have agreed upon."
— Napoleon
Most negotiation is done in silence.
"A place of peace is a place of power."
— Joel Osteen
"I think of him as a complete person. He has his adult side and his childish side, his male and his female side. He has everything.... He has this wonderful spirit."
— Michael Crichton talking about his friend Sean Connery
"We were feeling tired and great."
— Jack Kerouac
"Grasp the subject, the words will follow."
— Kato the Elder
Monday, August 14, 2017
What just happened?! I'm confused. High School?
First day of high school. Wow, high school. Wait, high school?! Holy shit, he was just a baby, like yesterday. A big baby, thick chested, puffy-faced from a long labor – god it was a rough one, I barely got through it :) – but he was definitely a baby, in a hospital bassinet, kind of prune-skinned and purple, breathing fine but not crying (because I was crying enough for both of us). When they rolled him from the delivery room to the nursery, he twisted and gripped the side of the bassinet like Hercules, and I was impressed, only 15 minutes old and doing cool shit! I was so happy. Anyway, then I blinked and now he's in high school. For the record, I'm still happy, so happy, and very grateful.
Stuff About Things #2
"I only really care about what my kids think of me. The other things I'm not in control of, so it doesn't interest me much."
— Sting, musician and frontman for the Police (the band, for you unfortunate, unfamiliar youngsters), when asked what he wanted his legacy to be
Muhammad Ali often showed amazing recuperative ability late in a fight. And he said this: "Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even."
"I'm really a shy, library person. I'm an introvert, a writer – just trying to translate what's in my chest.... I'm a writer first, and writers are some of the most introverted kooks there are. It definitely makes no sense, but I have to bridge the gap and do what needs to be done for the work. I'm painfully shy, and I have horrific stage fright. It doesn't come naturally to me at all.... Still, you have to draw yourself out.... I have a robust prescription of beta-blockers."
— Lorde, musician
"Be good, just be good.... And when you're good, the universe brings you stuff.... When was your last 'oh shit' moment? Like 'Oh shit! I'm exposed, I'm vulnerable here! When is your next one? Because that's when the magic happens."
— John Herdman
"I've studied anxiety all my career, but maybe what I've really been studying is not anxiety per se, but neuroticism, which is the tendency to view the world in a threatening, unpleasant kind of way. Learning to withstand the feelings that make us antsy may be the X factor that separates people who excel in life from those who don't."
— David Barlow, Ph.D.
"The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe."
— Albert Einstein
"Your ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions is probably the broadest single psychological concept we know how to change, and with the biggest impact that I know of."
— Steven Hayes, Ph.D.
"My family was artistic and encouraged me to express myself.... (Dancing professionally) taught me discipline.... Acting has been a strong force in my life, but it was hard to change direction. I didn't make a paycheck for two years.... Tom Cruise loves moviemaking, so it was a pure joy to be on set with him (in The Mummy).... Storytelling is important, so I keep exploring and reading."
— Sofia Boutella
The shark is the one predator that has survived from the days when dinosaurs ruled the earth. That's because no matter what, it always, always keeps moving, and only moving forward, eating as it goes. Sharks cannot swim backwards.
Prince Charles was subjected to a fairly rigorous morning routine at boarding school, comprised of a run before breakfast and a frigid shower. The prince became so accustomed to the routine – or maybe he just enjoyed it and its benefits? – that as an adult he continued to take a cold shower each day.
"I'm the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was."
— Muhammad Ali
"If you even dream of beating me, you better wake up and apologize"
— Muhammad Ali
"A man who has no imagination has no wings."
— Muhammad Ali
Man, that is a good one. I'm going to repeat it! A MAN WHO HAS NO IMAGINATION HAS NO WINGS!
"At home, I'm a nice guy, but I don't want the world to know that...."
— Muhammad Ali
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick.... I'm young; I'm handsome; I'm fast. I can't possibly be beat."
— Muhammad Ali
Sidney Poitier spent the first 10 years of his life in the Caribbean, on Cat Island in the Bahamas. It was a sun-drenched paradise without glass windows, doors, or storefronts and thus free of man-made reflections. "I never got a fix on my color," Poitier would write of those years. "No reason to." He didn't see himself in a mirror until the family moved to Nassau, when he was 10. And it wasn't until he was 15, when his aging parents sent him to live with an older brother in Florida, that he met institutional racism, which baffled him. Poitier went north within a year, uneducated, broke, and alone, but with a wealth of wisdom from parents he revered. "Charm them, son, into neutral," his mother once told him. And that's what he did, in New York City. Poitier, who turned 90 in 2017, has written eloquently about his coming-of-age and magisterial career - more than 40 films - in three books." (from Vanity Fair magazine)
When asked to comment on acting as 'her calling,' actress Suki Waterhouse made this modest statement: "All anyone does is act, starting as a baby playing peekaboo for applause. Then, when you get into the business side, 90 percent is dealing with rejection."
Doctors and scientists are more and more investigating an interesting – and to me, ironic – idea or hypothesis, which is basically: A lot of problems today come from living in too sterile an environment.
Here's a useful exercise: Name some successful cynics. You can't. Look at some of the most successful people in the past 10 years: Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, George Clooney, the Google guys, Bono. They're not too cynical. (from Men's Health magazine)
Acts of giving stimulate the production of dopamine.
Exercise is medicine. Take care of your teeth. Lower inflammation. Avoid processed carbs and sugar as much as possible. Higher HDL cuts cancer risk. Get enough rest. Breathe.
"For Ahmet and for me, on of the great joys of life has been the study of history, music, languages, literature, art, and archeology.... I believe it is tremendously important to support those things that endure across time... and make the world a more humane place."
— Mica Ertugen
"I have never feared the unknown; rather, I fear the known." (The interviewer suggests she seems hardwired for contendedness.) "I tend to love everything, actually." (Her father gave her the best advice she was ever given.) "'Never, never give up.' That used to ring in my head. 'When times get tough, stay in the boat.'"
— Joanna Lumley
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
— Thomas Edison
"I believe everyone should take at least four supplements: a multivitamin, vitamin D, omega-3s, and a probiotic. It's almost impossible to get all the nutrients you need in food today – and our needs are higher because there are so many toxins in the environment.... Exercise is a wonderful tool (but don't let it stress you out, or you're defeating the purpose).... The ultimate answer to stress is meditation (to stimulate the body's parasympathetic response).... The four keys to living a long, healthy life are exercise, diet, supplements, and stress reduction. There are also the intangibles: meaning in your life, love in your life. These are touchy-feely subjects that men don't seem to get, but when people feel passionate about what they do, they're healthier. When they're part of a community or go home to a loving family, they're healthier. You can't give a prescription for love or meaning, but they're crucial to good health."
— Frank Lipman
Everyone assumes, 'Oh, he's from the '40s and he's so idealistic.' But for him three weeks ago it was World War II. That's one of the most appalling things men have ever been through."
— Joss Whedon, writer and director of The Avengers, talking about Captain America.... This spoke to me because M 'n' m's great-grandfather was in WWII. He was in combat; his unit liberated a concentration camp; he suffered the whole brutal experience. And M 'n' m's other great-grandfather was in the Korean War. It puzzles me.... I never heard them curse or be indecorous or disrespectful; of course, they might've picked other audiences for that, but I think it would've leaked here or there, and on a certain level they really did seem to possess a kind of properness, idealism, or expectation of behavior you don't see today. And yet, imagine the things they saw.... It leaves me to wonder: were they more cynical than people today, or less? Would they agree with the great quote from MLK, repeated by President Obama: "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." And this, it seems comes from a longer piece by a minister and abolitionist named Theodore Parker: "Look at the facts of the world. You see a continual and progressive triumph of (doing) the right (thing). I do not pretend to understand the moral universe, the arc is a long one, my eye reaches but little ways. I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by the experience of sight; I can divine it by conscience. But from what I see I am sure it bends towards justice."
— Sting, musician and frontman for the Police (the band, for you unfortunate, unfamiliar youngsters), when asked what he wanted his legacy to be
Muhammad Ali often showed amazing recuperative ability late in a fight. And he said this: "Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even."
"I'm really a shy, library person. I'm an introvert, a writer – just trying to translate what's in my chest.... I'm a writer first, and writers are some of the most introverted kooks there are. It definitely makes no sense, but I have to bridge the gap and do what needs to be done for the work. I'm painfully shy, and I have horrific stage fright. It doesn't come naturally to me at all.... Still, you have to draw yourself out.... I have a robust prescription of beta-blockers."
— Lorde, musician
"Be good, just be good.... And when you're good, the universe brings you stuff.... When was your last 'oh shit' moment? Like 'Oh shit! I'm exposed, I'm vulnerable here! When is your next one? Because that's when the magic happens."
— John Herdman
"I've studied anxiety all my career, but maybe what I've really been studying is not anxiety per se, but neuroticism, which is the tendency to view the world in a threatening, unpleasant kind of way. Learning to withstand the feelings that make us antsy may be the X factor that separates people who excel in life from those who don't."
— David Barlow, Ph.D.
"The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe."
— Albert Einstein
"Your ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions is probably the broadest single psychological concept we know how to change, and with the biggest impact that I know of."
— Steven Hayes, Ph.D.
"My family was artistic and encouraged me to express myself.... (Dancing professionally) taught me discipline.... Acting has been a strong force in my life, but it was hard to change direction. I didn't make a paycheck for two years.... Tom Cruise loves moviemaking, so it was a pure joy to be on set with him (in The Mummy).... Storytelling is important, so I keep exploring and reading."
— Sofia Boutella
The shark is the one predator that has survived from the days when dinosaurs ruled the earth. That's because no matter what, it always, always keeps moving, and only moving forward, eating as it goes. Sharks cannot swim backwards.
Prince Charles was subjected to a fairly rigorous morning routine at boarding school, comprised of a run before breakfast and a frigid shower. The prince became so accustomed to the routine – or maybe he just enjoyed it and its benefits? – that as an adult he continued to take a cold shower each day.
"I'm the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was."
— Muhammad Ali
"If you even dream of beating me, you better wake up and apologize"
— Muhammad Ali
"A man who has no imagination has no wings."
— Muhammad Ali
Man, that is a good one. I'm going to repeat it! A MAN WHO HAS NO IMAGINATION HAS NO WINGS!
"At home, I'm a nice guy, but I don't want the world to know that...."
— Muhammad Ali
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick.... I'm young; I'm handsome; I'm fast. I can't possibly be beat."
— Muhammad Ali
Sidney Poitier spent the first 10 years of his life in the Caribbean, on Cat Island in the Bahamas. It was a sun-drenched paradise without glass windows, doors, or storefronts and thus free of man-made reflections. "I never got a fix on my color," Poitier would write of those years. "No reason to." He didn't see himself in a mirror until the family moved to Nassau, when he was 10. And it wasn't until he was 15, when his aging parents sent him to live with an older brother in Florida, that he met institutional racism, which baffled him. Poitier went north within a year, uneducated, broke, and alone, but with a wealth of wisdom from parents he revered. "Charm them, son, into neutral," his mother once told him. And that's what he did, in New York City. Poitier, who turned 90 in 2017, has written eloquently about his coming-of-age and magisterial career - more than 40 films - in three books." (from Vanity Fair magazine)
When asked to comment on acting as 'her calling,' actress Suki Waterhouse made this modest statement: "All anyone does is act, starting as a baby playing peekaboo for applause. Then, when you get into the business side, 90 percent is dealing with rejection."
Doctors and scientists are more and more investigating an interesting – and to me, ironic – idea or hypothesis, which is basically: A lot of problems today come from living in too sterile an environment.
Here's a useful exercise: Name some successful cynics. You can't. Look at some of the most successful people in the past 10 years: Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, George Clooney, the Google guys, Bono. They're not too cynical. (from Men's Health magazine)
Acts of giving stimulate the production of dopamine.
Exercise is medicine. Take care of your teeth. Lower inflammation. Avoid processed carbs and sugar as much as possible. Higher HDL cuts cancer risk. Get enough rest. Breathe.
"For Ahmet and for me, on of the great joys of life has been the study of history, music, languages, literature, art, and archeology.... I believe it is tremendously important to support those things that endure across time... and make the world a more humane place."
— Mica Ertugen
"I have never feared the unknown; rather, I fear the known." (The interviewer suggests she seems hardwired for contendedness.) "I tend to love everything, actually." (Her father gave her the best advice she was ever given.) "'Never, never give up.' That used to ring in my head. 'When times get tough, stay in the boat.'"
— Joanna Lumley
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
— Thomas Edison
"I believe everyone should take at least four supplements: a multivitamin, vitamin D, omega-3s, and a probiotic. It's almost impossible to get all the nutrients you need in food today – and our needs are higher because there are so many toxins in the environment.... Exercise is a wonderful tool (but don't let it stress you out, or you're defeating the purpose).... The ultimate answer to stress is meditation (to stimulate the body's parasympathetic response).... The four keys to living a long, healthy life are exercise, diet, supplements, and stress reduction. There are also the intangibles: meaning in your life, love in your life. These are touchy-feely subjects that men don't seem to get, but when people feel passionate about what they do, they're healthier. When they're part of a community or go home to a loving family, they're healthier. You can't give a prescription for love or meaning, but they're crucial to good health."
— Frank Lipman
Everyone assumes, 'Oh, he's from the '40s and he's so idealistic.' But for him three weeks ago it was World War II. That's one of the most appalling things men have ever been through."
— Joss Whedon, writer and director of The Avengers, talking about Captain America.... This spoke to me because M 'n' m's great-grandfather was in WWII. He was in combat; his unit liberated a concentration camp; he suffered the whole brutal experience. And M 'n' m's other great-grandfather was in the Korean War. It puzzles me.... I never heard them curse or be indecorous or disrespectful; of course, they might've picked other audiences for that, but I think it would've leaked here or there, and on a certain level they really did seem to possess a kind of properness, idealism, or expectation of behavior you don't see today. And yet, imagine the things they saw.... It leaves me to wonder: were they more cynical than people today, or less? Would they agree with the great quote from MLK, repeated by President Obama: "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." And this, it seems comes from a longer piece by a minister and abolitionist named Theodore Parker: "Look at the facts of the world. You see a continual and progressive triumph of (doing) the right (thing). I do not pretend to understand the moral universe, the arc is a long one, my eye reaches but little ways. I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by the experience of sight; I can divine it by conscience. But from what I see I am sure it bends towards justice."
Friday, August 11, 2017
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
The only one who seemed unconcerned was Ali
"Before the much anticipated fight (dubbed by Ali as the "Rumble in the Jungle"), in Ali's dressing room, Ferdie Pacheco remembered a mood of palpable dread prevailed. 'The question,' he said, 'was how much damage would Foreman do.' The only one who seemed unconcerned was Ali.... Meanwhile, in Foreman's dressing room, former lightweight champion Archie Moore also felt dread. 'I was praying,' said Moore, 'and in great sincerity, that George wouldn't kill Ali. I really felt that was a possibility.'"
— from Men's Journal magazine
I love that so much. I effing love it! Gives me goosebumps every time I read it, remember it, say it: The only one who seemed unconcerned was Ali.
Ali, of course, won the fight, surprising everyone except himself. And everyone was surprised years earlier when he knocked out Sonny Liston... everyone except Ali himself.
Love it.
And years later, Foreman even added this about the Rumble in the Jungle, "Probably the best punch of the night was never landed. Muhammad Ali, as I was going down, stumbling, trying to hold myself, he saw me stumbling.... Ordinarily you finish a fighter off; I would have. He got ready to throw the right hand, and he didn't do it. That's what made him, in my mind, the greatest fighter I ever fought."
— from the movie Facing Ali
"I'm so quick, I flip the switch and I'm in bed before the lights go out."
— Muhammad Ali
— from Men's Journal magazine
I love that so much. I effing love it! Gives me goosebumps every time I read it, remember it, say it: The only one who seemed unconcerned was Ali.
Ali, of course, won the fight, surprising everyone except himself. And everyone was surprised years earlier when he knocked out Sonny Liston... everyone except Ali himself.
Love it.
And years later, Foreman even added this about the Rumble in the Jungle, "Probably the best punch of the night was never landed. Muhammad Ali, as I was going down, stumbling, trying to hold myself, he saw me stumbling.... Ordinarily you finish a fighter off; I would have. He got ready to throw the right hand, and he didn't do it. That's what made him, in my mind, the greatest fighter I ever fought."
— from the movie Facing Ali
"I'm so quick, I flip the switch and I'm in bed before the lights go out."
— Muhammad Ali
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Stuff About Things #1
Sorry, but I probably won't quit before I arrive at 400 'regular' posts, maybe 500. Oh God, make it stop. No. Not yet. I enjoy it too much, scribbling about M 'n' m and so on and so forth. But a tender shoot of an idea sprung recently, as I looked at my files and piles of papers and pages, sparkling like diamonds to me, loaded with quotes, wisdom, inspiration I desperately need – to remain mediocre, apparently, but oh well – and so my tender idea unfurled and bloomed and today I boldly give you something new! (Humor me and allow this pretension, as if this is a commercially and socially relevant, important blog.) Yes, a new segment on M 'n' m, for M 'n' m (to ignore) and a place for the various and sundry snippets of media, magazines, books, history, lyrics, and interviews I have heretofore intended, without follow-through, to share. Because I think it's cool shit. It's random. It's awesome. It's Stuff About Things (a phrase stolen from an old friend, initials MD, when I was the 'Cruise Director' during our work trips to China)....
George Washington had red hair. (Just like M 'n' m's Aunt Jenny, Megan's Godfather Josiah, my friend Jim... all awesome people.) Thomas Jefferson had red hair too. So did Andrew Jackson.
Jack London disciplined himself to write a thousand words a day.
"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
— Jack London
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working."
— Picasso
"Words and people were his things."
— spoken of John Hughes, filmmaker, creator of Ferris Bueller, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, and other unforgettable movies
"There's something soft about him, deferential, childlike. He told me once, "I never considered myself an adult. When I enter a room, I always look for the old guy."
— Pat Jordan writing about Joe Maddon
The Rays won 90 games or more in five of six consecutive years under Maddon.
"A mind once stretched has a difficult time going back to its original form."
— Joe Maddon paraphrasing Oliver Wendell Holmes ("One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.")
"Our own laziness taxes us more than kings and parliaments."
— Ben Franklin
Stephen Curry makes 500 three pointers a day in the offseason. Makes, not shoots. So the player who is already the best shooter in the NBA shoots until he makes 500 shots a day, every day. He sets and achieves his goal every day and will not leave his workplace until he does. Imagine the focus that must create in him as he practices the same, mind-numbingly boring motion over and over and over. Imagine the habits that creates in him. Do you think that might possibly serve him well on game day? Can you say that you do anything 500 times a day? What about 100? What about 10?
"Every trip I go on, I am riddled with anxiety and paranoia. Overconfidence is not a problem."
— Sebastian Junger
"Love can mend your life but love can break your heart."
— The Police, Message in a Bottle
"Big problems will never be solved with comfortable conversations."
— Tim Ferriss
"Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life."
— Jerzy Gregorek
"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."
— Seneca
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
— Mark Twain
The parents of James Butler 'Wild Bill' Hickok were deeply involved in the anti-slavery movement and their farm was a stop on the Underground Railroad (escape route for slaves). Legend says young Hickock picked up his phenomenal shooting skills helping his parents defend their property from slave catchers. His father was killed in a gun battle with slavers when he was 14.
"We all try hard to live our lives in harmony.... But life is both a major and minor key, just open up the chord."
— Travis, Side
"The world is blowing up. The world is caving in. The world has lost her way again. But you are here with me. Makes it okay.... I love you oh so well. Like a kid loves candy and fresh snow. I love you oh so well. Enough to fill up heaven, overflow, and fill hell."
— Dave Matthews, Oh
"A pencil. That's all I need is a pencil, and a piece of paper would come in handy.... Throw away all the distractions and write something.... I'm not any less confused than you are, I just got in the habit of doing it. We all have ideas all the time. Our mind is a raging fire. At some point, you're gonna say, "Okay, it's gonna be bad." You gotta stand being bad if you wanna be a writer, cause if you don't, you're never gonna write anything good."
— David Mamet
"Just being alive is so psychedelic."
— Jim James, My Morning Jacket
"There are always lessons in failures."
— Jaime Lannister, Game of Thrones
"If it matters to me, I'll do whatever it takes."
— Michael Gervais
"Confidence comes from preparation."
— Kobe Bryant
Kobe Bryant regularly practiced as early as 4:00 AM. Alone.
George Washington had red hair. (Just like M 'n' m's Aunt Jenny, Megan's Godfather Josiah, my friend Jim... all awesome people.) Thomas Jefferson had red hair too. So did Andrew Jackson.
Jack London disciplined himself to write a thousand words a day.
"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
— Jack London
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working."
— Picasso
"Words and people were his things."
— spoken of John Hughes, filmmaker, creator of Ferris Bueller, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, and other unforgettable movies
"There's something soft about him, deferential, childlike. He told me once, "I never considered myself an adult. When I enter a room, I always look for the old guy."
— Pat Jordan writing about Joe Maddon
The Rays won 90 games or more in five of six consecutive years under Maddon.
"A mind once stretched has a difficult time going back to its original form."
— Joe Maddon paraphrasing Oliver Wendell Holmes ("One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.")
"Our own laziness taxes us more than kings and parliaments."
— Ben Franklin
Stephen Curry makes 500 three pointers a day in the offseason. Makes, not shoots. So the player who is already the best shooter in the NBA shoots until he makes 500 shots a day, every day. He sets and achieves his goal every day and will not leave his workplace until he does. Imagine the focus that must create in him as he practices the same, mind-numbingly boring motion over and over and over. Imagine the habits that creates in him. Do you think that might possibly serve him well on game day? Can you say that you do anything 500 times a day? What about 100? What about 10?
"Every trip I go on, I am riddled with anxiety and paranoia. Overconfidence is not a problem."
— Sebastian Junger
"Love can mend your life but love can break your heart."
— The Police, Message in a Bottle
"Big problems will never be solved with comfortable conversations."
— Tim Ferriss
"Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life."
— Jerzy Gregorek
"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."
— Seneca
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
— Mark Twain
The parents of James Butler 'Wild Bill' Hickok were deeply involved in the anti-slavery movement and their farm was a stop on the Underground Railroad (escape route for slaves). Legend says young Hickock picked up his phenomenal shooting skills helping his parents defend their property from slave catchers. His father was killed in a gun battle with slavers when he was 14.
"We all try hard to live our lives in harmony.... But life is both a major and minor key, just open up the chord."
— Travis, Side
"The world is blowing up. The world is caving in. The world has lost her way again. But you are here with me. Makes it okay.... I love you oh so well. Like a kid loves candy and fresh snow. I love you oh so well. Enough to fill up heaven, overflow, and fill hell."
— Dave Matthews, Oh
"A pencil. That's all I need is a pencil, and a piece of paper would come in handy.... Throw away all the distractions and write something.... I'm not any less confused than you are, I just got in the habit of doing it. We all have ideas all the time. Our mind is a raging fire. At some point, you're gonna say, "Okay, it's gonna be bad." You gotta stand being bad if you wanna be a writer, cause if you don't, you're never gonna write anything good."
— David Mamet
"Just being alive is so psychedelic."
— Jim James, My Morning Jacket
"There are always lessons in failures."
— Jaime Lannister, Game of Thrones
"If it matters to me, I'll do whatever it takes."
— Michael Gervais
"Confidence comes from preparation."
— Kobe Bryant
Kobe Bryant regularly practiced as early as 4:00 AM. Alone.
Friday, August 4, 2017
#369
There are apps now that can study a photo of a dog and tell you what breed it is. (Remember when 'app' meant appetizer?) IoT and A.I. systems, sensors, and algorithms will manage our home security, climate, lights, lawncare, laundry, groceries, music, and moods (via ambient lighting, sounds, and smells). They'll drive our cars, monitor our health, take care of our pets (and maybe our children). Siri, Alexa, and Google anticipate our actions, make recommendations, remember our preferences, learn our tendencies, know if we're in a restaurant and ask us to rate it. It's beginning slowly; it's creeping and creepy; impersonal, flat, unnecessary, even if helpful and novel. I wonder when I'll receive my first Amazon package delivered by drone. Every year technology feels a little more invasive and oppressive. The human touch is irreplaceable. Right? We'll see. There are benefits to having a Jarvis, a handy voice and 'mind' that knows everything ever historically, factually (although what is 'fact' these days except mathematical absolutes or scientific certainties, i.e. the world is not flat... after all). The world is big and diverse though, so rollout and saturation of these futuristic techno-crazes will vary by region, I assume, and M 'n' m can always escape to Alaska and leave it all behind for a few days. If they want to. I hope they want to. But satellites will find and harass them with commercial badgering in some form. West World was an interesting show. And The Martian an interesting movie. As was Arrival. I don't see those things happening in their lifetimes, but I might be surprised. I won't be surprised if I'm surprised.
"We're already cyborgs. Your phone and your computer are extensions of you, but the interface is through finger movements or speech, which are very slow." (With a neural lace inside your skull you would flash data from your brain, wirelessly, to your digital devices or to virtually unlimited computing power in the cloud.) "For a meaningful partial-brain interface, I think we're roughly four or five years away."
— Elon Musk, Vanity Fair magazine, April 2017
"We're already cyborgs. Your phone and your computer are extensions of you, but the interface is through finger movements or speech, which are very slow." (With a neural lace inside your skull you would flash data from your brain, wirelessly, to your digital devices or to virtually unlimited computing power in the cloud.) "For a meaningful partial-brain interface, I think we're roughly four or five years away."
— Elon Musk, Vanity Fair magazine, April 2017
Thursday, August 3, 2017
#368
When Megan came to work with me recently, she said, "I can't wait until you get upgraded. Then you'll have an office." Awkward silence. Actually, it wasn't awkward at all; I explained that I hadn't earned an office yet – either by recognized achievement and commitment or boldness, or whatever it takes. And at my work, most of us are in – what I'll call – a wide-open, common workspace, Google-style, so to speak, as they implemented the layout when they briefly owned us and moved us to downtown Chicago. I'm very grateful; we have an awesome space. It's true that directors and VPs have doors and offices. My daughter knows I work hard. She knows I was laid-off and rehired. And maybe that kind of corporate ascension skips a generation? Papa Mike did his part, ending in CEO-ships of roughly billion dollar companies (we'll see if he asks me to strike that; I'll assure him my readership is small; no need for undue modesty). Meg's grasping for the word – upgraded? – for, presumably, 'promoted,' was cute. Meg is a smart little thing, and wonderfully – and sometimes unwonderfully – lacking any kind a confusing or punch-pulling filter. I always know her mood, what she's thinking. Not so with Michael, he of the one word answers. Especially when texting. Me: "How was your game?" (He is playing in a season-ending tournament today.) Michael's return text: "Good." What is implied by my question: Did you win? Did you pitch or play third? Did you get any hits? Any extra base hits? Was it a close game? Did Paulie or Joe or Andrew pitch? What the hell happened? Details! What is implied by Michael's answer: Good. And so it goes. But I think it's lethargy, and nothing like detachment, angst, or attitude. I could be naive, and wrong, but when I pry for those details he seems magnanimous in giving them. For example, upon clarification, he didn't pitch, he singled a few times, and they won the first game 7 - 0 and the second 4 - 2. Next game starts in 25 minutes. Go Michael!
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Michael is my height now...
... and Meg isn't small anymore, and this is surely mama bear, not papa. Dad is probably napping or fishing or gorging on a whale carcass, chasing a dog musher, mauling a reindeer or a fat seal or a Californian from an Alaskan cruise looking for a polar bear selfie. Anyway, I like this pic.
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