#282

The internet is shaky at my hotel in China, and when it's down, it amuses me to assess my feelings about it. I'm annoyed, of course. F*cking annoyed. But my feelings are deeper and more desperate than that. The internet is down?! Oh my God! I'm alone, helpless, imprisoned, shrinking, severed from the world! Never mind I can simply step outside and chat with three billion people. Sort of. It's unpleasant to feel 'cut off' from my loved ones on the other side of Earth, but usually I've video-chatted with them recently, and the sky isn't falling. Unless North Korea nukes something, Wall Street collapses the world economy (for good this time), or we have a zombie apocalypse (my choice for Armageddon, ala TWD with MHC, my hunting buddies), I should be able to survive five minutes without internet. We have a searing, sizzling need to be connected and productive without interruption. It's manic, it's essential, and it's not a hamster wheel because it does, in fact, take us places that are useful and meaningful. But there’s irony when the 'productivity' item is 'rest' or 'recharge,' which isn't outside the game at all, the race, but integral, like pit stops at Indy. And 'no internet' pales in comparison to ‘no cell phone.’ Misplaced yours lately? Oh my God, my smartphone?! Where is it?! I'm so naked!

Michael is a giant. Seriously. He isn't a teenager yet and his feet are bigger than mine. I don't have Shaq feet, but I don’t have toddler feet either. I'm an inch taller that Papa Mike – which he playfully disputes every time we stand – and Papa will be thrilled if Michael is taller than both of us. We'll see. Maybe he's peaked but I doubt it.

M ‘n’ m have a great-grandmother named Marilyn. She’s very smart, which makes perfect sense from a genetic continuity standpoint (because her son ain’t a butter knife either, Papa Mike; neither are you, Aunt Diane, thank you for reading). Grandma Marilyn has always observed and commented on technology. Advances in computers, television, cameras, cell phones, music, media, and so on. Over thirty years ago, she said to me, “When I was a kid, we couldn’t imagine TVs like this, and video players, and phones without wires. And when you're my age, you'll be impressed with things you never thought possible, like cars that drive themselves.” Cars that drive themselves? I think we were in a car when she said this, and I thought, no way. Well, she’s right. She’s always right. Self-driving cars in urban traffic seemed pretty farfetched decades ago, and yet here we are (with enough sensors on a vehicle and programming from Google). Commercially, full autopilot isn’t available, but cars park themselves now and steer back into lanes and have incredible safety sensors and features. And drones have been flying for years. It's just a matter of time. It goes without saying Grandma Marilyn has an iPhone and Android tablet. And when she came to visit us a few weeks ago, she consulted GPS.