Post #250

I asked Michael to scribble Uncle Bill a thank-you for a special birthday gift. Michael nodded, busied himself, and later handed me six envelopes, for Bill and five others. My son, the epitome of unspoiledness. Maybe not, but he's generally grateful and optimistic, and I love him for it. His completion of six thank-yous instead of one is a sure sign that decades from now, his lucky spouse won't have to apportion his duties, tell him twice, or bug the shit out of him. He'll never have to be over-reminded or threatened. He'll be proactive, thoughtful, and attentive. And he'll leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Megan and Michael played in their respective All-Star games. They both played well. The Cox kids can hit. It was maybe my proudest day since their births. I'm not kidding, even if I sound shallow and dumb, even if I radiate fatherly folly and misguidance. When Michael hit one over the fence this year, my eyes welled with tears. Just last night, in my softball game, I took a screaming grounder off the face. I know it's better to use my glove, and not my face, but it was a bad hop and it split my chin. And now I'll wear my scar with pride. Shallow and dumb, but proud.

I'm undecided whether to celebrate or censure certain behaviors in my children. If Michael takes out a bully at school, in spectacular UFC fashion, do I applaud or admonish him? The easy answer is the former, of course – I'll feel like buying him a steak and new shoes – but temperance and awareness of consequences are advisable. Imposing physicality isn't Michael's way, but who knows. I was wary of schoolmates who had a militant streak, even if its appearance always seemed justifiable. I would peg Meg as the more likely to attack and scold those who do her wrong, and isn't this an important skill in our seemingly dog-eat-dog world? A 'willingness to close with the enemy,' as they say in the Army, is admirable and predictive of good things. Papa Mike possesses this in spades. So does Grandma Barb. I wouldn't say it's a dog-eat-dog world entirely, though. Empathy is important. Relationships are important. Selfishness, greed, and neediness can be very ugly. What makes some of us more susceptible than others? I dont know, but the Cubs have won six in a row. That's good.