Post #248

Megan is stingy with 'Pleases' and 'Thank-yous' and it irritates me. I have a tendency to overuse them and gush (and I abuse 'Sorry' to the point, I'm afraid, of annoying superfluity) but I believe in the elegance and power of politeness. 'Please' is always deserved and appropriate when asking for something. Why is that so hard, Megan?! Just say it! Your middle name is 'Grace' goddammit! :) As for 'Thank You,' I am not especially prim, proper, or British, but I use it simply, genuinely, and without exception. (I think. If you're reading this and at any point in my long life I forgot to thank you for something, please forgive me, I'm sorry.) See Megan, I just dropped a please, a thanks, AND a sorry all in one pitiful plea! THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE! ... Am I crazy?! Don't answer that. Am I over-sensitive, at least, wasteful with civility, at times corny, syrupy, overzealous? Maybe. But Megan's way is NOT wiser. It's not even cooler. This is not a currency we can overspend. Yet I wonder: When Megan finally shows gratitude, does it have more meaning and pop because of its scarcity? No. It just reminds me she's fickle, and her behavior, for example, may get a smile, a smirk, or a gum-smack from our restaurant server who may or may not feel appreciated. I remind myself that Megan's only nine years old and I'm her dad; it's our destiny to be familiar and lock horns. When I pursue other perspectives, everything comes up roses. Megan's teachers assure me she's a perfect angel at school. I call bullshit – at least a little, begging them to admit they've seen flashes of her attitude or impoliteness – and they earnestly, honestly insist that my daughter is delightful. Delightful! Then they go too far, pining for an entire class of Megans, twenty of them; they wish all their students were like Meg. She's perfect to adults and fellow students alike, they laud and praise and then, noting the perplexity on my face, chuckle and explain, "Oh, every child acts differently around family than they do at school." I shouldn't be surprised, they say, if she's challenging and moody at home. Thank you, but it's not a surprise, it's a pain in the ass. Megan also tests high and gets good grades, and has nice friends, and is a good player and teammate during softball. If I could just get more 'Pleases' and 'Thank-yous' I'd be satisfied.