Dad Post #223

Life is God’s kindergarten. That’s a little gem I heard recently (and not from Robert Fulghum). On the eighth day, God created YouTube, and not entirely for the Kardashians, or ESPN. We love our celebrities, tabloids, and 24-hour (bad) news cycle, but there’s something else I’ve tapped into: the endless river of semi-uplifting mumbo-jumbo online. I don’t do Candy Crush; I listen to lectures and sermons, instead. And I don’t mean to sound self-important. Truthfully, since I struggle to put anything into practice (like optimism, willpower, meditation, smart parenting), I’m probably better off playing Words With Friends. But I love TED, for example. ‘Talks at Google’ are great. ‘Philosophers Notes’ are cool. Zencast, Dharma Talks, Richard Rohr, Robin Sharma, Osteen, Oprah, you name it, I’m a sucker for it all. Deepok, anyone? I wasn’t even kidding about Oprah; she’s interviewed Nelson Mandela and Thich Nhat Hanh, and, well, I haven’t. And so I listen and think about things other than work and coaching. I think about M ‘n’ m. They are, after all, budding and brightening and infinitely important. I want them to live optimal, purposeful, love-filled lives. I want them to be happy! What’s more important? (A Cyclone Final Four maybe, but I have a bigger hand in my wishes for M 'n' m.) And so I wonder: Am I guiding, pushing, applauding, admonishing my kids enough? Am I mindful and prayerful enough? Put simply, am I a good dad? I’m not even sure what that means. My engineering training informs me to ask, how is it measured? Where is the data? I suppose the data is all around us, and so the statement above – life is God’s kindergarten – resonates with me. In all matters of heart and mind, how far do we really get? Do we master our own thoughts, emotions, focus, energy, relationships, careers, money, and health so much that we should authoritatively instruct our kids how to live? Yes, to some degree. But I don't find it too cyncial to refer to life as kindergarten, either. I’m not a six-year-old anymore, and yet there's still clumsiness and confusion in my life. Like, uh, lots of it. I suspect I'm not alone. Even with adults, things go untended, unprobed, unloved, unlearned. Nobody gets gold stars in everything. Certainty and arrogance – about weighty things – is over-compensating and comical among kindergarteners, and I find it even more so among big people! Old people, rich people, awesome people... they have foibles, too. So Jeanette and I, M ‘n’ m, and S ‘n’ C will press on together, always cheerful, playful, open, and curious. And now I’m thinking: Maybe characterizing life as ‘kindergarten’ is actually a challenge to us….