Dad Entry #207

Michael turned 11 last month. The awkward years are no longer on some distant horizon, they are close; I feel them encroaching, reaching, grinning. I will honor Michael's privacy as much as possible. I will know his voice even if it changes into Louis Armstrong, or Jimmy Durante, or Darth Vader. I went through puberty too, and I'm pretty sure it's never perfect seas for anyone, not for participants, of course, but not for parents either, unless they suffer from unmindfulness or naivete or memory loss. I, for one, remember those years and it's frightening to be on the parent-side now. How do you encourage respect and gratitude, versus ignorance and suppression, when dealing with this very sensitive, human thing that can add to happiness, health, and love, or, sadly, go down a path of dysfunction? Oh man. This is heavy. If Michael always drains the hot water heater, or if his lingering glances turn into overlingering and leering – at passersby or magazine covers or who knows what – or if he is frequently distracted or disrespectful or dishonest... hmm, I guess we'll have to sit down and talk about it. I'll try to counsel or reprimand him appropriately. We'll sit down and talk about things regardless. I'll reiterate the expectation that he remain the conscientious and well-mannered person he has always been. In short, we'll talk about class. I have trouble imagining Michael as that guy, but assuming he'll be a perfect angel seems unwise; we'll see how it goes. I would prefer he be neither a bore or a boor, if that makes sense, although the latter is decidedly more ignorant in my view. Thankfully, life is about living and learning, and also, hopefully, loving and laughing, through it all, in all sorts of ways. I pray for respect, health, and happiness. Gosh, that sounds easy. I told Jeanette to brace herself for 'the awkward years' with Cole, also. I think it's especially awkward for moms.