Megan’s room should be featured on Hoarders. I’ve never seen an episode, but neither have I seen, at the mention of a show, people cringe, frown, groan, gag, and double-over with such reflex and revulsion. It must be an intriguing television program. Megan’s appeal, however, would be sheer volume over oddity or grotesquery of content. It isn’t trash or animals – or Zombie apocalypse supplies – that have taken over her room. It’s just a pile of poorly shelved and organized art projects, silk scarves, LEGO Friends pieces and partial assemblies, party favors, paint chips, hand-me-down clothes (which we are grateful for!), books of every size and shape, dolls and accessories, stuffed animals, hair-thingies, un-hung posters, an inflatable palm tree, a real ficus tree, lamps, plants, an empty fish tank, shoes that are too small, crap from my work travels, and enough pens and pencils and erasers and markers and crayons and stickers to fill a C130. Oh, and throw in the stuff she picks up for free in building doorways and waiting rooms: real estate guides, car catalogs, pamphlets (like “Understanding Your Medicare” and “How To Quit Smoking”), and free health and fitness magazines (like “Competitor” and “YOGAChicago” – great publications, by the way; I hope Megan reads them). We culled and tossed and donated some things recently; it was a ‘purge party’ and I, for one, found it very satisfying. The pile is down. But it will rise again.
Megan still has bath toys. Right now they’re a mash-up of G.I. Joe, Star Wars, and superhero action figures, with a few Angry Birds and a Barbie mixed in. Some of the toys are Michael’s – the Obi Wan and Iron Man, for example – but Megan has her own Lady Jaye, Anakin, Ahsoka, and a female Jedi named Aayla Secura. Aayla is blue-skinned and a little too provocatively clad, if I may say so, although maybe I shouldn’t mention this since just noticing feels indictable. Anyway, the Santa who visits our house likes G.I. Joe and Star Wars figures, because the kids both have some, and even I received Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow one year, which are also in Megan’s bundle of tub toys. I’m not sure what watery games and scenes she composes, but if I stop outside the door, I overhear her dramatically inflected voice carrying out creative scripts. These are the fun things that will disappear soon; Megan already takes more showers than baths. I'll miss these moments and rituals.
Oy. Purge party. I used to have those at work when I was an admin while painfully trying to pay my way through grad school. Brought back a lot of memories…..when ‘evite’ evolved and thought it was the best tool ever….. I created many of evites within my office….’stuffing envelopes party’ ‘clean out the break room fridge party’….I don’t think any of my colleagues shared in my cute, clever humor. Not many showed up to those parties. Anyway. Good times. Back to kids. I tried a purge party with Lauren when she was 4. What a waste of time. She saved everything and often these parties resulted in mommy being mean to want to throw out her ‘art’. So, back to efficiency. Mom throws out all her crap when she’s asleep. It took a few tries after successfully completing the task. The first time was a nightmare. Lauren finding her work in the garbage can…..almost made me cry to see her cry and so hurt that I could think her ‘stuff’ was garbage worthy. Lesson learned. Throw that stuff underneath all the rubble, way under banana peels so they are well hidden.
ReplyDeleteHaving one main bathroom now also means no more bath toys. Too much clutter. Too many squirty bath objects that spurt out dark gray particles from old water being trapped inside. Gross. I’ve moved on to bath toys that disintegrate….dissolve. so cool. Discovered only a week ago. Lush soap products. BEST thing ever. Natural, hand made, organic and fair trade. Soap bombs. Coolest thing. Bath time is so fun now…..for me. I only have one kid and bath time was never my favorite. Hurts my back. I’d rather scrub toilets and change diapers. Of other kids even. Lush soap products. That is my Valentines gift to Lauren this year.
Thank you for your blog Dan. I always thought how cool it would be that your little ones have this to read when they become a parent themselves and wished Lauren had the same. Now she does. sort of! through this....