Dad Entry #163

On a flight to Minnesota this year, Michael said, “I’m no expert on clouds, but I think we’re flying through some cumulonimbus.” He says things like this with convincing aplomb. I wonder how his targets at the bar will react, a dozen years from now, to these kind of breezy, brainy comments. The answer, of course, has everything to do with how handsome he is. And, according to surveys, how white his teeth are, and maybe his shoes. Shoes?! Puffing up the arms and chest are surprisingly low on the list. I wasted so many hours doing that, I’m afraid, and I didn’t even succeed. My son’s a bit thicker than I am; he'll have better luck. He'll never cut like his old man though, like lightning! "I'm so quick, I flip the switch and I'm in bed before the lights go out!" Muhammad Ali said that; he had plenty of both, quick and thick. So does Lebron. Speaking of chest-puffery, Michael’s taken a shine to cars lately. He points out Panameras, Carreras, Camaros, you name it. He likes Maseratis. He spots the occasional Ferrari and calls Lamborghinis, “Lambos.” And his stumbles are understandable; Ford fusions do look like Aston Martins now, and Chryslers like Bentleys. Michael doesn’t really confuse things unless they’re confusing. It’s why I drive an Accord; it’s never mistaken for something nicer.

Michael knows Papa Mike has owned nice cars over the years; he’s had Mustangs, a BMW, an A6 turbo, a Cayenne. But Michael wants a Ferrari in the family. “Could Papa Mike buy a Ferrari?” he asked me. “Yeah, but that would really dent the budget, and he wants to retire soon and play golf everyday, and he likes to buy watches and shoes too much.” (There’s ‘shoes’ again.) So Michael said, “Maybe we could all pitch in and help him get a Ferrari!” Good idea! I can afford a slice of a fraction of a percent of the lowest possible Ferrari payment! Kids are dreamers, creators, artists, sharers, and that’s why, in some ways, they’re wiser than adults.