#372

I let Megan have ice cream for breakfast. I am a shitty father. But it's Saturday, and she's helping me paint. Although that feels like another favor and acquiescence; she was begging for a brush. I decided she would be helpful and committed and not too messy. And she has been. She didn't quit the minute it became more work than novel fun. We're a good team. Of course, we aren't on scaffolds doing the Sistine Chapel; we're doing the crappy, '70s-style-wood-paneled stairwell down to our basement. We're dripping onto the stairs, but we'll paint those too. The blunder to avoid is stepping on the drops and tracking them onto carpet. So far, we haven't ruined anything. Life is good. Though I wonder: Should I hold myself to a higher standard – in painting, parenting, and everything else – than 'just don't ruin anything?' That's a low bar. But not always an easy one.

I am halfway through a book called The Glass Castle. Speaking of fathering and ruining kids – or sadly, painfully strengthening them – it's quite a story. So far. I'm inclined to say I have some of the good qualities of the dad in the book (creativity, enthusiasm, and – like us all I assume – a powerful love for his children) without suffering his extreme flaws (alcoholism, 'visits to the Green Lantern,' and a powerful restlessness that precludes any familial stability). And yet, how can I compare one father to another? I would say less, and not more, is agreed upon and cut-and-dried when it comes to best practices for fathers. And I'd say it's too complex for clear, indisputable conclusions when comparing this father to that one, or this culture to that one, or this philosophy to that one. And certainly we can't give all the credit (for the development of remarkable people) to the parents of those people, and none to the individuals themselves... just as we can't give anyone all of the blame. How's that for a parental disclaimer? Ha! When I think of incredible people, I certainly think their upbringing plays a part, but so does their very own heart and soul and energy and resilience and work ethic and intellect and convictions and love and optimism and relationships and kindness and so on and so forth.

Michael is off to homecoming this weekend. The game, the dance, the pre- and post-parties, the fun, the drama, etcetera etcetera. Any questions I ask about any of it will get a one-word answer. 'Good.' 'Alright.' 'Okay.' 'Fine.' Then based on his tone and body language (also, if needed, hearsay, comments from other parents, and whatever his talkative friends let slip) I'll learn a little more and decide how much to pry. I just hope he has a blast. A safe and healthy one. That's all. These should be good times, even if imperfect.

My days of writing about my son should probably end. But that's sad and I don't want it to end, and I'm selfish when it comes to my cathartic habit here, so maybe I'll keep at it, confusingly, vaguely, lovingly, with a kind of false distance to allow for awkward deflection or disavowal if necessary.

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."
     — Dalai Lama

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. Dalai Lama
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/dalailama108820.html

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. Dalai Lama
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/dalailama108820.htm

#371

I can sympathize – or empathize; maybe it's not something to pity – with people who feel like they've never 'grown up.' Or entirely grown up, at least; we're somewhere in the process. We're just in need of more growth, confidence, courage. But we retain some good qualities perhaps, in this place, if you will. Larry King talks about this – his youthful enthusiasm and curiosity is un-dampened by age; at 84 he's still a teenager – as do people like Joe Maddon, actor Kyle Chandler, and many others. It takes some humility and self-awareness to admit this, also possibly frustration with the pretenders or try-too-hard-ers among us. Too often we see the awkward or unbridled adolescent in the VIPs of the world. But God bless 'em, because people DO have to step up with leadership and authority sometimes, when others won't, and it's not easy; it takes courage, will, strength. Of course, when bluster and bullshit reach a kind of critical mass, I remind myself I'm not the only one with immature fears, insecurities, submissive tendencies, averseness to conflict, times when I freeze when I should do something (behaviors and feelings I equate – perhaps erroneously! – with the young and inexperienced). We know posturing and chest-thumping sometimes is nothing but insecurity. I'm terrified of giving that impression, but that's no excuse to shrink, either. For many reasons I guess, I don't pretend to know what the hell I'm doing, I only profess to do 'my best' or whatever, and this can seem and sound very weak! There's a balance. I'm searching for it every day. We all have a lot to learn, witness, endure, enjoy – right? – if we're to get some sort of TOTAL human experience? Several great thinkers, philosophers, important and accomplished people have stated in one form or another: the beginning of knowledge is to realize how little you know.... In the grand scheme, we have a ways to go. Or something like that. Look at the wars. Look at the stars. (We can't get to any but a few.) Look at loved ones with illnesses we can't cure. Lots to learn. But we've done pretty well to this point in history; 'the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice' ... I truly believe that humanity trends the right way, and I'll stand up for that view, that statement like an adult!

I love this from Dickens who speaks of not losing good qualities from childhood, such as 'a certain freshness, and gentleness, and capacity of being pleased.' I think these are essential, and I pray we all retain them. It's like we need a mix of childlike and adult qualities both – is that too obvious of a statement?! Yes, apologies – because, well, Lord of the Flies and the fact children can be very cruel, also. Whatever the case, from Charles Dickens's novel David Copperfield: 

"This may be a fancy, though I think the memory of most of us can go farther back into such times than many of us suppose; just as I believe the power of observation in numbers of very young children to be quite wonderful for its closeness and accuracy. Indeed, I think that most grown men who are remarkable in this respect, may with greater propriety be said not to have lost the faculty, than to have acquired it; the rather, as I generally observe such men to retain a certain freshness, and gentleness, and capacity of being pleased, which are also an inheritance they have preserved from their childhood." 

I hope M 'n' m 'preserve' some good qualities from their childhood, and I hope they have an accurate awareness of who they are, and how they are, and how they fit into the world, from this perspective or spectrum of human growth and experience. Although I'm not even sure if there is such a thing as 'accurate' when talking about how we are perceived by ourselves and others. Are perceptions reality? Uh, I'm going to swim back to shore now...   

#370

And they're off! Michael to 9th, Megan to 6th. Michael is pretty slammed: school, soccer, orchestra, fall baseball... I will get to know him again this weekend. It's Megan's last year at a grade school I love. I was there last night giving hugs and meeting Megan's teacher who, incidentally, had Michael a few years ago. Awesome.

Michael seems... searching for a good word here... he seems very 'level' lately; it's maybe a good place to be, not manic, not passive (although he's a tad lethargic at times – but I know he's very busy and tired when the day ends at home) and overall I'd say he's been cool, calm, collected, easy-going this year... and yet I know that can't exactly be true. Because he's a high-schooler now! It's an intense time. Emotions run high, don't they? I remember that being so. Emotions and experiences that are newish and concentrated present themselves; seemingly more impactful relative to earlier, younger moments involving challenges, crushes, craziness, adventures, adrenaline, insecurities, love, loss, mystery, novelty, danger, fear, etcetera etcetera!!

As a soon-to-be father of two teenagers – m will join M in teenagerhood next year – I have reflected a lot lately on the speed of life. My conclusion? Uh, it's fast. Or, better said, by none other than Chicagoan Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Jeanette, who was raised in the city and took the Blue Line ("L" train) to Whitney Young High School everyday, thinks Ferris is fun and all, but he's a sheltered suburbanite at best. She's right. I was a suburbanite also; there is in fact a difference, but only a big one (as I like say). "Chicago-suburbanite Ferris Bueller" doesn't sound as slick. I recall Ferris's street smarts were a bit lacking also; think of the Ferrari flying out of the garage as soon as Ferris cheerfully handed it over, after telling Cameron, "Will you calm down please, I'm gonna give the guy a fiver to watch it." M 'n' m love the city and get down here regularly; joining me at work on occasion is one way. Here's my view from work today, from the rooftop, not my desk, but still:

Stuff About Things #3

"In the mystifying world that was Victorian parenthood, obedience took precedence over all considerations of affection and happiness, and that odd, painful conviction remained the case in most well-heeled homes up until at least the time of the First World War.... By withholding affection to children when they were young, but also then endeavoring to control their behavior well into adulthood, Victorians were in the very odd position of simultaneously trying to suppress childhood and make it last forever. It is perhaps little wonder that the end of Victorianism almost exactly coincided with the invention of psychoanalysis. 
     — Bill Bryson, At Home

"I was born in the United States, first-generation Cuban American. My family would always tell me the opportunity I had, to be part of a country that gives you freedom, give you the opportunity to control your own destiny, and, more than anything, allows you to be whatever you want to be."
     — Pitbull

When Pitbull was five years old, his father took him to bars and had him recite poems by the 19th-century Cuban revolutionary philosopher, journalist, and poet Jose Marti. "That was the first time I saw how powerful words were," Pitbull says. "We're a culture that likes to talk a lot. We have a lot of sayings. Words mean a lot."

"A grain of poetry suffices to season a century."
     — Jose Marti

"It is necessary to make virtue fashionable."
     — Jose Marti

"I always say it takes a little bit of crazy to keep the big crazy away."
     — Mike Edison

Jason Kidd, always a student of the game, dissected film for hours, carefully watching the style and technique of players like Gary Payton and Chris Mullin. Chris was notorious for not being the fastest guy on the court, but he spotted opponents' tendencies, understood angles, and learned the tricks of the trade. Kidd learned all those tricks and wrote a few of his own. You nudge an opponent - soft enough not to foul him, but strong enough to throw off his shot. As players take a shot, they almost always bring the ball back to the same spot - where Kidd, anticipating this, can slap it away. Some opponents don't like to be touched. Others don't like space. With this knowledge, and his positioning on the floor, Kidd can frustrate, disrupt, and solidly defend, even as he ages and loses a bit of the speed and explosiveness he once had. (from Men's Fitness magazine)

"Don't give in to the immediate gratification that is whispering in your ear. SHUT THAT DOWN.... Stay on the warpath. Rest tomorrow. And when you get knocked down, get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage.... The reality is: Discipline is your best friend."
     — Jocko Willink

Self-talk and visualization are key.

"Inversions, like headstands, have always been really hard for me. It's weird having my feet over my head - it's a trust thing. My yoga teacher said, "Don't be afraid to teeter; you'll find your balance," and that really resonated with me. That's how life is: I'm going to go back and forth, I'll have good times and bad times, but I will find my balance."
     — Demi Runas, LPGA golfer

"It is always a privilege to be in a deer camp and to witness the old rituals that never get old: a boy too excited to sleep the night before opening day; a father who remembers that feeling and so loves his son that he'd forgo a pay raise to help him succeed."
     — Bill Heavey

"You think the backstage was crazy 12 years ago? You should see it now, man. Our kids can tear up a backstage faster than AC/DC ever could.... I just wanna get home safe now; I just wanna play my music and go home.... I don't know what I'm gonna say when that first tattoo walks in the house, or I find that pack of cigarettes, or whatever it is; I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."
     — Dave Grohl, "the nicest guy in rock 'n' roll" in a 60 Minutes interview, smiling, talking about his three young daughters; all the guys in Foo Fighters have kids now

Don't try to be interesting; be interested.

"I decided to stop thinking ahead.... I would give this mission my everything. I would commit to slogging my guts out twenty-four hours of every day until my eyes bled. I would consider anything short of this to be a bonus. At least that should manage my expectations."
     — Bear Grylls, Mud, Sweat, and Tears

Expect. That will surely ruin everything.

To expect is to diminish.

"I can remain focused on, and suffer for, the big thing longer than anyone else."
     — Tommy Caldwell

"History is a set of lies that people have agreed upon."
     — Napoleon

Most negotiation is done in silence.

"A  place of peace is a place of power."
     — Joel Osteen

"I think of him as a complete person. He has his adult side and his childish side, his male and his female side. He has everything.... He has this wonderful spirit."
     — Michael Crichton talking about his friend Sean Connery

"We were feeling tired and great."
     — Jack Kerouac


"Grasp the subject, the words will follow."
     — Kato the Elder

What just happened?! I'm confused. High School?

First day of high school. Wow, high school. Wait, high school?! Holy shit, he was just a baby, like yesterday. A big baby, thick chested, puffy-faced from a long labor – god it was a rough one, I barely got through it :) – but he was definitely a baby, in a hospital bassinet, kind of prune-skinned and purple, breathing fine but not crying (because I was crying enough for both of us). When they rolled him from the delivery room to the nursery, he twisted and gripped the side of the bassinet like Hercules, and I was impressed, only 15 minutes old and doing cool shit! I was so happy. Anyway, then I blinked and now he's in high school. For the record, I'm still happy, so happy, and very grateful.

Stuff About Things #2

"I only really care about what my kids think of me. The other things I'm not in control of, so it doesn't interest me much."
     — Sting, musician and frontman for the Police (the band, for you unfortunate, unfamiliar youngsters), when asked what he wanted his legacy to be

Muhammad Ali often showed amazing recuperative ability late in a fight. And he said this: "Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even."

"I'm really a shy, library person. I'm an introvert, a writer – just trying to translate what's in my chest.... I'm a writer first, and writers are some of the most introverted kooks there are. It definitely makes no sense, but I have to bridge the gap and do what needs to be done for the work. I'm painfully shy, and I have horrific stage fright. It doesn't come naturally to me at all.... Still, you have to draw yourself out.... I have a robust prescription of beta-blockers."
     — Lorde, musician

"Be good, just be good.... And when you're good, the universe brings you stuff.... When was your last 'oh shit' moment? Like 'Oh shit! I'm exposed, I'm vulnerable here! When is your next one? Because that's when the magic happens."
     — John Herdman

"I've studied anxiety all my career, but maybe what I've really been studying is not anxiety per se, but neuroticism, which is the tendency to view the world in a threatening, unpleasant kind of way. Learning to withstand the feelings that make us antsy may be the X factor that separates people who excel in life from those who don't."
     — David Barlow, Ph.D.

"The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe."
     — Albert Einstein

"Your ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions is probably the broadest single psychological concept we know how to change, and with the biggest impact that I know of."   
     — Steven Hayes, Ph.D.

"My family was artistic and encouraged me to express myself.... (Dancing professionally) taught me discipline.... Acting has been a strong force in my life, but it was hard to change direction. I didn't make a paycheck for two years.... Tom Cruise loves moviemaking, so it was a pure joy to be on set with him (in The Mummy).... Storytelling is important, so I keep exploring and reading."
     — Sofia Boutella

The shark is the one predator that has survived from the days when dinosaurs ruled the earth. That's because no matter what, it always, always keeps moving, and only moving forward, eating as it goes. Sharks cannot swim backwards.

Prince Charles was subjected to a fairly rigorous morning routine at boarding school, comprised of a run before breakfast and a frigid shower. The prince became so accustomed to the routine – or maybe he just enjoyed it and its benefits? – that as an adult he continued to take a cold shower each day.

"I'm the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was."
     — Muhammad Ali 

"If you even dream of beating me, you better wake up and apologize"
     — Muhammad Ali  

"A man who has no imagination has no wings."
     — Muhammad Ali 

Man, that is a good one. I'm going to repeat it! A MAN WHO HAS NO IMAGINATION HAS NO WINGS!

"At home, I'm a nice guy, but I don't want the world to know that...."
     — Muhammad Ali
 
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick.... I'm young; I'm handsome; I'm fast. I can't possibly be beat."
     — Muhammad Ali   

Sidney Poitier spent the first 10 years of his life in the Caribbean, on Cat Island in the Bahamas. It was a sun-drenched paradise without glass windows, doors, or storefronts and thus free of man-made reflections. "I never got a fix on my color," Poitier would write of those years. "No reason to." He didn't see himself in a mirror until the family moved to Nassau, when he was 10. And it wasn't until he was 15, when his aging parents sent him to live with an older brother in Florida, that he met institutional racism, which baffled him. Poitier went north within a year, uneducated, broke, and alone, but with a wealth of wisdom from parents he revered. "Charm them, son, into neutral," his mother once told him. And that's what he did, in New York City. Poitier, who turned 90 in 2017, has written eloquently about his coming-of-age and magisterial career - more than 40 films - in three books." (from Vanity Fair magazine)

When asked to comment on acting as 'her calling,' actress Suki Waterhouse made this modest statement: "All anyone does is act, starting as a baby playing peekaboo for applause. Then, when you get into the business side, 90 percent is dealing with rejection." 

Doctors and scientists are more and more investigating an interesting – and to me, ironic – idea or hypothesis, which is basically: A lot of problems today come from living in too sterile an environment.

Here's a useful exercise: Name some successful cynics. You can't. Look at some of the most successful people in the past 10 years: Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, George Clooney, the Google guys, Bono. They're not too cynical. (from Men's Health magazine)
 
Acts of giving stimulate the production of dopamine.

Exercise is medicine. Take care of your teeth. Lower inflammation. Avoid processed carbs and sugar as much as possible. Higher HDL cuts cancer risk. Get enough rest. Breathe.

"For Ahmet and for me, on of the great joys of life has been the study of history, music, languages, literature, art, and archeology.... I believe it is tremendously important to support those things that endure across time... and make the world a more humane place."
     — Mica Ertugen 

"I have never feared the unknown; rather, I fear the known." (The interviewer suggests she seems hardwired for contendedness.) "I tend to love everything, actually." (Her father gave her the best advice she was ever given.) "'Never, never give up.' That used to ring in my head. 'When times get tough, stay in the boat.'"
     — Joanna Lumley

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
     — Thomas Edison

"I believe everyone should take at least four supplements: a multivitamin, vitamin D, omega-3s, and a probiotic. It's almost impossible to get all the nutrients you need in food today – and our needs are higher because there are so many toxins in the environment.... Exercise is a wonderful tool (but don't let it stress you out, or you're defeating the purpose).... The ultimate answer to stress is meditation (to stimulate the body's parasympathetic response).... The four keys to living a long, healthy life are exercise, diet, supplements, and stress reduction. There are also the intangibles: meaning in your life, love in your life. These are touchy-feely subjects that men don't seem to get, but when people feel passionate about what they do, they're healthier. When they're part of a community or go home to a loving family, they're healthier. You can't give a prescription for love or meaning, but they're crucial to good health."
     — Frank Lipman

Everyone assumes, 'Oh, he's from the '40s and he's so idealistic.' But for him three weeks ago it was World War II. That's one of the most appalling things men have ever been through."
     — Joss Whedon, writer and director of The Avengers, talking about Captain America.... This spoke to me because M 'n' m's great-grandfather was in WWII. He was in combat; his unit liberated a concentration camp; he suffered the whole brutal experience. And M 'n' m's other great-grandfather was in the Korean War. It puzzles me.... I never heard them curse or be indecorous or disrespectful; of course, they might've picked other audiences for that, but I think it would've leaked here or there, and on a certain level they really did seem to possess a kind of properness, idealism, or expectation of behavior you don't see today. And yet, imagine the things they saw.... It leaves me to wonder: were they more cynical than people today, or less? Would they agree with the great quote from MLK, repeated by President Obama: "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." And this, it seems comes from a longer piece by a minister and abolitionist named Theodore Parker: "Look at the facts of the world. You see a continual and progressive triumph of (doing) the right (thing). I do not pretend to understand the moral universe, the arc is a long one, my eye reaches but little ways. I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by the experience of sight; I can divine it by conscience. But from what I see I am sure it bends towards justice."

The puppies Megan puppysits

The only one who seemed unconcerned was Ali

"Before the much anticipated fight (dubbed by Ali as the "Rumble in the Jungle"), in Ali's dressing room, Ferdie Pacheco remembered a mood of palpable dread prevailed. 'The question,' he said, 'was how much damage would Foreman do.' The only one who seemed unconcerned was Ali.... Meanwhile, in Foreman's dressing room, former lightweight champion Archie Moore also felt dread. 'I was praying,' said Moore, 'and in great sincerity, that George wouldn't kill Ali. I really felt that was a possibility.'" 
     — from Men's Journal magazine

I love that so much. I effing love it! Gives me goosebumps every time I read it, remember it, say it: The only one who seemed unconcerned was Ali.

Ali, of course, won the fight, surprising everyone except himself. And everyone was surprised years earlier when he knocked out Sonny Liston... everyone except Ali himself.

Love it.

And years later, Foreman even added this about the Rumble in the Jungle, "Probably the best punch of the night was never landed. Muhammad Ali, as I was going down, stumbling, trying to hold myself, he saw me stumbling.... Ordinarily you finish a fighter off; I would have. He got ready to throw the right hand, and he didn't do it. That's what made him, in my mind, the greatest fighter I ever fought." 
     — from the movie Facing Ali

"I'm so quick, I flip the switch and I'm in bed before the lights go out."
     — Muhammad Ali

Stuff About Things #1

Sorry, but I probably won't quit before I arrive at 400 'regular' posts, maybe 500. Oh God, make it stop. No. Not yet. I enjoy it too much, scribbling about M 'n' m and so on and so forth. But a tender shoot of an idea sprung recently, as I looked at my files and piles of papers and pages, sparkling like diamonds to me, loaded with quotes, wisdom, inspiration I desperately need – to remain mediocre, apparently, but oh well – and so my tender idea unfurled and bloomed and today I boldly give you something new! (Humor me and allow this pretension, as if this is a commercially and socially relevant, important blog.) Yes, a new segment on M 'n' m, for M 'n' m (to ignore) and a place for the various and sundry snippets of media, magazines, books, history, lyrics, and interviews I have heretofore intended, without follow-through, to share. Because I think it's cool shit. It's random. It's awesome. It's Stuff About Things (a phrase stolen from an old friend, initials MD, when I was the 'Cruise Director' during our work trips to China)....

George Washington had red hair. (Just like M 'n' m's Aunt Jenny, Megan's Godfather Josiah, my friend Jim... all awesome people.) Thomas Jefferson had red hair too. So did Andrew Jackson.

Jack London disciplined himself to write a thousand words a day.

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
     — Jack London

"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working."
     — Picasso

"Words and people were his things."
     — spoken of John Hughes, filmmaker, creator of Ferris Bueller, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, and other unforgettable movies

"There's something soft about him, deferential, childlike. He told me once, "I never considered myself an adult. When I enter a room, I always look for the old guy."
     — Pat Jordan writing about Joe Maddon

The Rays won 90 games or more in five of six consecutive years under Maddon.

"A mind once stretched has a difficult time going back to its original form."
     — Joe Maddon paraphrasing Oliver Wendell Holmes ("One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.")

"Our own laziness taxes us more than kings and parliaments."
     — Ben Franklin

Stephen Curry makes 500 three pointers a day in the offseason. Makes, not shoots. So the player who is already the best shooter in the NBA shoots until he makes 500 shots a day, every day. He sets and achieves his goal every day and will not leave his workplace until he does. Imagine the focus that must create in him as he practices the same, mind-numbingly boring motion over and over and over. Imagine the habits that creates in him. Do you think that might possibly serve him well on game day? Can you say that you do anything 500 times a day? What about 100? What about 10?

"Every trip I go on, I am riddled with anxiety and paranoia. Overconfidence is not a problem."
     — Sebastian Junger

"Love can mend your life but love can break your heart."
     — The Police, Message in a Bottle

"Big problems will never be solved with comfortable conversations."
     — Tim Ferriss

"Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life."
     — Jerzy Gregorek

"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."
     — Seneca

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
     — Mark Twain

The parents of James Butler 'Wild Bill' Hickok were deeply involved in the anti-slavery movement and their farm was a stop on the Underground Railroad (escape route for slaves). Legend says young Hickock picked up his phenomenal shooting skills helping his parents defend their property from slave catchers. His father was killed in a gun battle with slavers when he was 14.

"We all try hard to live our lives in harmony.... But life is both a major and minor key, just open up the chord." 
     — Travis, Side

"The world is blowing up. The world is caving in. The world has lost her way again. But you are here with me. Makes it okay.... I love you oh so well. Like a kid loves candy and fresh snow. I love you oh so well. Enough to fill up heaven, overflow, and fill hell."
     — Dave Matthews, Oh

"A pencil. That's all I need is a pencil, and a piece of paper would come in handy.... Throw away all the distractions and write something.... I'm not any less confused than you are, I just got in the habit of doing it. We all have ideas all the time. Our mind is a raging fire. At some point, you're gonna say, "Okay, it's gonna be bad." You gotta stand being bad if you wanna be a writer, cause if you don't, you're never gonna write anything good."
     — David Mamet

"Just being alive is so psychedelic."
     — Jim James, My Morning Jacket

"There are always lessons in failures."
     — Jaime Lannister, Game of Thrones

"If it matters to me, I'll do whatever it takes."
     — Michael Gervais

"Confidence comes from preparation."
     — Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant regularly practiced as early as 4:00 AM. Alone.

#369

There are apps now that can study a photo of a dog and tell you what breed it is. (Remember when 'app' meant appetizer?) IoT and A.I. systems, sensors, and algorithms will manage our home security, climate, lights, lawncare, laundry, groceries, music, and moods (via ambient lighting, sounds, and smells). They'll drive our cars, monitor our health, take care of our pets (and maybe our children). Siri, Alexa, and Google anticipate our actions, make recommendations, remember our preferences, learn our tendencies, know if we're in a restaurant and ask us to rate it. It's beginning slowly; it's creeping and creepy; impersonal, flat, unnecessary, even if helpful and novel. I wonder when I'll receive my first Amazon package delivered by drone. Every year technology feels a little more invasive and oppressive. The human touch is irreplaceable. Right? We'll see. There are benefits to having a Jarvis, a handy voice and 'mind' that knows everything ever historically, factually (although what is 'fact' these days except mathematical absolutes or scientific certainties, i.e. the world is not flat... after all). The world is big and diverse though, so rollout and saturation of these futuristic techno-crazes will vary by region, I assume, and M 'n' m can always escape to Alaska and leave it all behind for a few days. If they want to. I hope they want to. But satellites will find and harass them with commercial badgering in some form. West World was an interesting show. And The Martian an interesting movie. As was Arrival. I don't see those things happening in their lifetimes, but I might be surprised. I won't be surprised if I'm surprised.

"We're already cyborgs. Your phone and your computer are extensions of you, but the interface is through finger movements or speech, which are very slow." (With a neural lace inside your skull you would flash data from your brain, wirelessly, to your digital devices or to virtually unlimited computing power in the cloud.) "For a meaningful partial-brain interface, I think we're roughly four or five years away."
     — Elon Musk, Vanity Fair magazine, April 2017

#368

When Megan came to work with me recently, she said, "I can't wait until you get upgraded. Then you'll have an office." Awkward silence. Actually, it wasn't awkward at all; I explained that I hadn't earned an office yet – either by recognized achievement and commitment or boldness, or whatever it takes. And at my work, most of us are in – what I'll call – a wide-open, common workspace, Google-style, so to speak, as they implemented the layout when they briefly owned us and moved us to downtown Chicago. I'm very grateful; we have an awesome space. It's true that directors and VPs have doors and offices. My daughter knows I work hard. She knows I was laid-off and rehired. And maybe that kind of corporate ascension skips a generation? Papa Mike did his part, ending in CEO-ships of roughly billion dollar companies (we'll see if he asks me to strike that; I'll assure him my readership is small; no need for undue modesty). Meg's grasping for the word – upgraded? – for, presumably, 'promoted,' was cute. Meg is a smart little thing, and wonderfully – and sometimes unwonderfully – lacking any kind a confusing or punch-pulling filter. I always know her mood, what she's thinking. Not so with Michael, he of the one word answers. Especially when texting. Me: "How was your game?" (He is playing in a season-ending tournament today.) Michael's return text: "Good." What is implied by my question: Did you win? Did you pitch or play third? Did you get any hits? Any extra base hits? Was it a close game? Did Paulie or Joe or Andrew pitch? What the hell happened? Details! What is implied by Michael's answer: Good. And so it goes. But I think it's lethargy, and nothing like detachment, angst, or attitude. I could be naive, and wrong, but when I pry for those details he seems magnanimous in giving them. For example, upon clarification, he didn't pitch, he singled a few times, and they won the first game 7 - 0 and the second 4 - 2. Next game starts in 25 minutes. Go Michael!

Michael is my height now...

... and Meg isn't small anymore, and this is surely mama bear, not papa. Dad is probably napping or fishing or gorging on a whale carcass, chasing a dog musher, mauling a reindeer or a fat seal or a Californian from an Alaskan cruise looking for a polar bear selfie. Anyway, I like this pic.

Crushed

#367

Megan came to work with me Friday. Michael joins me too, on occasion. I love that they love to visit; they leave a mark on the place for me, memories, fun moments at work with them. This is good; it's where I spend tens of hours every week. It reveals one of my flaws: I don't compartmentalize the focuses and forces in my life well. They all run together. Maybe it's common, maybe it's a strength; I don't know; there's only one mind I'm truly inside of, truly privy to, and it's my own, my own thinking, sensitivites, awarenesses; this is the primary and primal burden and blessing of being human. We are pilots, captains of precisely one craft, our own. We're among a sea of other vessels, of course. Do we navigate kindly, play well with others? Do we race, compete, collaborate, cruise? Where are we all headed anyway? Sadly, I know the press, the media, would prefer you believe everyone else is a battleship, and every day is either the America's Cup or the Battle of Midway.

So M 'n' m and I enjoy my office together, the techno- goodies and labs, and the incredible city around, above, and below us, glass towers, steel and concrete, the Chicago river, trains, traffic, streams of people, countless storefronts and restaurants, efforts and energies of every kind.

Yesterday, M 'n' m and I drove to Branson, Missouri. Long drive from Chicago, but it's worth it for baseball! Michael's season-ending tournament. I've never been here; reminds me of Wisconsin Dells. Michael stays with the team in a cool barracks-like complex surrounded by fields. So Meg and I are roommates at the Marriott. So far, so good, but we both had noxious gas last night. Caused a little tension. Papa Mike joins us tonight. Life is good. (And the gas war will surely escalate with a third and formidable entrant. Megan's no slouch, by the way. She isn't out-gunned by any stretch. And she started it.)

"Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what to think."
     — David Foster Wallace

"Yet in an age of ceaseless sensationalism, pseudoscience, and a relentless race for shortcuts, quick answers, and silver bullets, knowing what to think seems increasingly challenging."
     — Maria Popova

Megan doesn't want this poster...

... for her room. Good. We saw it at Target. We love Target. I don't think Meg's watched Suicide Squad, actually. She prefers Guardians of the Galaxy, as do I. And dads prefer their daughters' not date The Joker, especially Jared Leto's and Heath Ledger's renditions. And "Daddy's Lil Monster" shirts in women's sizes are disturbing. And everyone knows fishnets and baseball bats don't go together. Nuke LaLoosh wore a garter belt under his uniform, but he was a pitcher.

#366

I like picking up Megan. When she hopped in the car yesterday, I was stricken with an un-rare, unsurprising manic moment of needing to express to her how much I love her. At this point in our lives together, we both roll our eyes, but I continue, dauntless, like this: "Meg, I hope you have a baby boy someday, and then maybe you'll finally understand how much I love you. That might do the trick. You know, the mother-son / father-daughter thing; they're cliches for a reason; a baby boy, a son, that might wipe the windshield for you, so to speak, for a clear view of this kind of eternal sunrise." Meg was confused. Hell, so was I; I wasn't making sense. Then I remembered the puppies. Meg is helping a friend with a litter of Rottweilers. They are brand-spanking-new; their eyes, unopened; their stubby, little legs, useless (although Meg said some can army crawl). Rather indifferently, I thought, Meg told me the boys push the girls away from Mom's milk if it must be fought over. I thought, the male-female dynamic is consistent across all life forms... but then I thought of Praying Mantises. Females get the last laugh there, for sure. And women live longer, have better hair, and in the '70s and '80s looked less hilarious, than men, with perms. See, being female has its advantages. But the Praying Mantis thing, I had to look up: Do they always kill the males? That's not very nice, girls.

From the internet: "Yes, it's true, female praying mantises do cannibalize their sex partners. In some instances, she'll even behead the poor chap before they've consummated their relationship. As it turns out, a male mantis is an even better lover when his brain, which controls inhibition, is detached from his abdominal ganglion, which controls the actual act of copulation. But most instances of sexual suicide in mantises occur in the confines of a laboratory setting. In the wild, scientists believe the male partner gets munched on less than 30% of the time."

Wow. Things I want to unlearn. And wouldn't that be sexual homicide, not suicide? Does the male mantis know the sacrifice he's about to make (hence, it's called suicide)? Like he gets his affairs in order, then takes one for the team. For his unborn kids. I know they're bugs, but the whole thing sounds more like murder to me. Anyway, back to Meg, puppies, and expressing love. I said, "Actually, Meg, I love you more than you love those puppies!" I thought I'd nailed it! "Can you believe it?!" I added, gushing! Meg said, "Yeah, because sometimes I don't like those puppies because they smell." She's a little cynical, but honest. And she knows my game.

Three Little Quotes

Two about a pair of warring forces – in me and my life, at least – referred to here as enthusiasm and discouragement:

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”
     ― Winston Churchill

"You can measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him."
     ― Robert C. Savage

And another one about poets:

“Poets do not 'fit' into society, not because a place is denied them but because they do not take their 'places' seriously. They openly see its roles as theatrical, its styles as poses, its clothing costumes, its rules conventional, its crises arranged, its conflicts performed and its metaphysics ideological.”
     ― James P. Carse, Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility

This is so good, I have to share the whole thing...

... from Men's Journal magazine. Q & A with John Lithgow. Advice from his father, learning from criticism, enthusiasm for traveling and other cultures, the eagerness to please, young marriage, thoughts on vanity and money... it all resonated hugely with me. M 'n' m and I aren't movie stars, but still...

What's the best advice you ever received?
My dad told me something that was, in a way, negative and cautionary. He was a very estimable producer of classical theater, and he said, "Listen to the audience, and listen to critics. It's often very hard because sometimes audiences hate you and critics pan you. But listen to them — they're the ones you truly learn from. Everybody else has an agenda."
What adventure changed your life?
I joined a summer travel camp in France after my junior year of high school. It was my first time abroad, and I can trace my enthusiasm for traveling and other cultures to that summer. It was also when I was a serious painter; I spent the whole summer painting French landscapes and town squares, and I made out with my first girlfriend.
What role most shaped your career?
There have been a few. I won a Tony Award for my Broadway debut, in 1973, in a play called The Changing Room. That was a gigantic life-changer. Ten years after that, it was The World According to Garp, and then Third Rock from the Sun about 10 years after that. Also, I would say that The Crown has been a big life-changer.
In it, you play Winston Churchill. Which historical figure do you identify with?
Shakespeare. Theater is the path for everything I've done, so he's my man. He was an actor but also a creator. If he were alive today, he would also be making movies and TV. He did everything. He wrote Hamlet, but he also wrote The Comedy of Errors, a farce. He wrote Titus Andronicus, a horror film if there ever was one.
What have you learned from dressing in drag?
Every time you're scared to do something, you should do it. Whenever I've felt that, it's been a colossal breakthrough. When I was in a Boy Scout troop at age 12 or 13, we put on a show at the end of camp. It was a cornball version of the old melodrama of the villain, the hero, and the damsel in distress, where the damsel is tied to a railroad track and the hero saves her just in time. And which role do you think I was cast in? I remember thinking, "Oh my God, this might be a serious mistake." An Eagle Scout untied me, carried me off, and then fell on his ass. All the Scouts roared with laughter. It was like an explosion, and I remember being elated by it. I was a shy kid and an inept and clumsy Scout who didn't earn many merit badges, but, boy, that was the night I became a star.
You often play the bad guy, too. Is there a villainous side to you?
My eagerness to please sometimes gets the better of me. If you go through your life being completely truthful, everybody will hate you, and something I deeply fear is being hated. This comes from being a third child and living in 10 different places growing up. I was always arriving in a new school on the first day of school and was just innately fearful of conflict. You get very good at winning people over quickly. But that can also make you a little bit devious because you're constantly persuading people that you're utterly likable.
What's the trait you most despise in others?
Hypocrisy. I'm having a lot of trouble with contemporary politics because of this. I have a taste for horror, and right now our politics is accommodating that taste.
You've been married 35 years. Any advice?
Don't get married too young, for starters. Both my wife and I did that. Neither of our first marriages lasted because neither of us quite knew who we were at that age, in our early twenties. Wait until you're a grown-up. And marry somebody whose company you prefer to anybody else's in the world.
What have you learned about money?
Not a damn thing. And my wife is an economic historian. You would think she is very crafty with money, but as it turns out, the shoemaker's children go barefoot. Money is just a low priority for me. I'm more interested in good work than a big bank account.
How should a man handle vanity as he ages?
I'm as vain as the next person, but I've made so much fun of myself over the years, and that's very salutary as you grow older. One of my favorite moments from Third Rock was a scene in which we all ended up in a hot tub drinking martinis. Something outrageous happened, and my character was shocked by it. So I stood up to my full height out of the tub in a tiny little bright orange Speedo and yelled, "Have you no shame!" Well, I gave up shame years ago.

#365

I strategically over-bought footwear for Michael when he passed through size 11. He's a 12 now, and a few shoes I spent hundreds on are suddenly homeless and perfect-fitting (for me) and – the only gamble in my scheme – untrashed. Well played. Thank you.

The Kobe Bryant purple pair are a bit gaudy, but they're a very nice, light, athletic shoe. Too bad I don't play basketball anymore. A reason to start up again? Anyone know a 40-and-over league with games next to a hospital? I love playing basketball. I miss it like youth. Michael might go out for the high school soccer team despite a pretty glaring inexperience. He's not two-left-footed – how do you disparage a soccer player; I don't know the lingo? – or void of skills or anything; he's just low, as in none, on 'real' game experience. I hope he goes for it; it's never to late to start, especially at 14! The days of running and competing against strangers in refereed, win-or-lose, 'official' contests are fleeting... from my current vantage point anyway; although I played softball this week with my old team and we smoked some young guys. They weren't very good; a few wore soccer cleats, actually. No one's good at everything.

Not playing basketball but still writing... I feel like pushing for 400 posts now; I've been prolific lately; that's a good word for a hack to self-describe and commend effort (not quality) and feel good about himself. So there it is; I've been prolific.

M 'n' m are headed to Minnesota for their annual summer week (or two) visit. My parents and my sister's family are there. I'm grateful the kids love it and are loved and spoiled up nort' der in Minnah-soo-ta. We are lucky.

Megan finished up another softball season. She likes to pitch, and is tall and long and athletic (even if a little whiney when she doesn't get the calls or bounces). Maybe she'll be the next Monica Abbot. During her senior season in college, Abbot set the record for the most strikeouts in a Division I softball season and became the NCAA Division I all-time leader in career wins, strikeouts, shutouts, innings pitched, games started, and games pitched (that's from Wikipedia). She's an Olympian too. Monica threw the fastest recorded softball pitch at 77mph. According to the math, it would take a 77mph softball pitch the same amount of time to reach home plate as a 114mph baseball pitch. The fastest recorded baseball pitch is 105mph by Aroldis Chapman. FYI, an average highly competitive softball pitch is around 72mph which is the equivalent of a 110mph baseball pitch which softball players regularly hit and the defense fields and gets the runner out in less than 3 seconds! Here's to women's softball (that's from Tumblr).

I saw Aroldis Chapman throw for the Cubs last season. Our seats were on the 3rd base line and close. He throws hard. Really hard. I was like being at a car race; being there in person helps one really appreciate the speed; it's mind-blowing, electric. And everyone in Chicago saw him pitch – on TV at least; playoff tickets were too expensive for this guy – during the World Series run! Then he went right back to the Yankees. Effing Yankees. And now they have Judge and his 500 foot bombs.

"We're writing a book...

... every day of our lives, but we don't read that book. You have to look inside of yourself to see what you really want. What are you passionate about?"
     — David Goggins, SEAL, Ultramarathoner

"Your soul is screaming for you to find your true calling.... You can rebalance your priorities in life.... You can become the best parent possible at any age, even 86, but don’t wait until then…. You’ll always be able to make more money but you cannot make more time.... What do you want to be remembered for? What can you do for others to make the world a better place?.... You can step out of the shadows and into the light.... You were meant for more than just what you do for a living. You are an internal being meant to inspire and help the world."

     — Brian Cimins, More Was Never Enough

"For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels,
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows,
And did it my way."

     — Frank Sinatra, My Way

"Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall,
And did it my way."

    — more Frank Sinatra, My Way, is there a better song than that?!

#364

Regretfully, a few posts ago I mentioned drugs and sounded like Nancy Reagan which is a good thing because I adore Nancy Reagan. Her husband too. So I don't intend to skirt the topic (of drugs) with M 'n' m; whether I know too much or too little, I'm not sure. There must be an updated climate or sensibility; I'll assume things aren't precisely the same as they were 25 years ago at my high school (where I saw pot, mushrooms, and heard mention of acid, but never saw pills, powders, or needles). I really don't know if I'm naive or not at all. What will M 'n' m encounter directly or indirectly (I mean in cool conversation or suggestion)? Prescription meds, designer drugs, new drugs, old drugs? Whatever the case, I'll fumble through a talk or two with earnestness, practicality, and only mild hypocrisy. And there's a specific point I'll raise. Whether or not I come across as authoritative, current, relevant, or right in any other way, I intend to make the point that certain drugs, without question, involve violence. Health, safety, legality, addiction – these points feel more obvious to me – but I want the part about violence to sink in also. Consider this, for example, from an article in Men's Journal magazine this month:

"Hundreds and hundreds of rounds were fired during the gunfight between Ramon's people and Guzman's assassins. That night eight of Ramon's bodyguards were killed, as were 10 of Guzman's men and something like a dozen innocent civilians. It was a bloody massacre that should have made headlines all over the world. Or at the very least in the United States, the biggest consumer of the drugs we moved. The fact that it didn't just indicates that American society is deluded in thinking that personal drug use is a victimless crime. Every ounce of pot or eight ball of cocaine or bindle of heroine that changes hands on the streets or in an executive suite or at an Oscar afterparty has blood on it. A lot of it is innocent blood."

The Cubs...

... just crash-landed into the break, and with only one All-Star. Geez. Baseball is fickle, man. It's a tough, sensitive sport. A game of rhythm and momentum that must be nurtured, stoked, upheld somehow, or things go flat, the bounces go the other way, and suddenly you suck even though you're loaded with talent. Sports and life, always analogous. The Cubs still have a good shot at the playoffs – thankfully they're not in the NL West, for example – but I'd say last week was their worst of the season; so yeah, they're like not improving. The Dodgers and Astros look way more capable and hungry. But Theo and Joe won't disappoint us, and all the hundred year bullshit is over. Finally. Thank God.

"Anyone can have a bad century."
     — Jack Brickhouse

I mentioned poetry...

... a few posts ago and recently found myself halfway through Oscar Wilde's only novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray. Two visits to Ireland – and Irish people, pubs, culture, humor, and hospitality – convinced me nothing bad or boring comes from there. The book is good. Rich like a decadent dessert. I will take M 'n' m wherever they want after their college graduation. By then it might be outer space. If it's Ireland, I have an idea what to see and do. I hope they choose Ireland, Scotland, London, Paris, Munich, Brussels, Amsterdam, Prague, Rome, Venice, Florence, Geneva, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Helsinki, Saint Petersburg, Budapest, Krakow and whatever else we can cram into a week or two. Unless they choose Asia. Or Africa. Or South America or Australia or even Antarctica which is just a jump from Argentina. We'll do it.

From The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde:

"Most people become bankrupt through having invested too heavily in the prose of life. To have ruined one's self over poetry is an honor."

"It is personalities, not principles, that move the age."

"The only artists I have ever known, who are personally delightful, are bad artists. Good artists exist simply in what they make, and consequently are perfectly uninteresting in what they are. A great poet, a really great poet, is the most unpoetical of all creatures. But inferior poets are absolutely fascinating. The worse their rhymes are, the more picturesque they look. The mere fact of having published a book of second-rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistible. He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realize."

"It is a sad thing to think of, but there is no doubt that Genius lasts longer than Beauty. That accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate ourselves. In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place. The thoroughly well-informed man - that is the modern ideal. And the mind of the thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-a-brac shop, all monsters and dust, with everything priced above it's proper value."

Knee-high by the 4th of July

Megan planted four corn plants this spring. Only one is 'knee-high by the 4th of July' – chipmunks dug up the other seeds – but I explained to Meg that at .250, if she was a Cub, she'd be nearly tops on the team. The Cubs are mediocre so far, but they'll get hot and win the division. And birth in Iowa – M 'n' m are Illinois born but not me – has many privileges, one is familiarity with catchy corn phrases. Of course, we know the use of nitrogen fertilizers and earlier planting dates has invalidated this old saying, and it's about yields, not height; a short stalk can out-yield a tall one. So there. Megan and Michael are tall, but productivity is what matters. Was that too forced (the parenting analogy I mean)? I remembered this is about parenting and not farming. Meg and I have tomatoes, beans, peppers, and basil this year too. We moonlight as farmers.  

Happy 4th, especially to my friend Dave and his family.

#363

Been Franklin has eclipsed Bear Grylls as my favorite human. While driving to Iowa, I listened to a documentary about the guy I never see on money because I can't afford to carry hundreds. I asked M 'n' m to make a favorite person list (family excluded). Naturally, it got me listing too. I did it sort of chronologically, hence Santa, my first favorite. And then Rickey Henderson; I was heavily sports-minded as a kid and I wanted to be Rickey. 130 thefts in 1982 (I was seven). Are you kidding me?! Three times more than 100 stolen bases in a season. I have all his baseball cards. I digress. Here's my favorite men, family excluded. I can identify with men. Listing women... just feels like something not to do. Mother Teresa. Mary. Anyway, my list of dudes, pretty quickly done; I'm sure I've forgotten some:

1) Santa Claus
2) Rickey Henderson
3) Davy Crocket
4) Bill Hickok
5) Crazy Horse
6) Abraham Lincoln
7) The Holy Family (that's three folks actually, and possibly four – brother James?)
8) Michael Jordan
9) Dwight Long (I should probably tell him I'm using his name here, as I know him personally, an infectiously positive, all-around unrivaled role-model in my life)
10) Jimmy Carpenter (same as above, hope he doesn't mind, although this is a nice list, let's face it; Jimmy is an awesome competitor and solid dude; a highlight of my life was helping him win basketball games, although winning was nearly guaranteed already when playing alongside Jimmy)
11) Cecil Travis (an all-star MLB shortstop whose career was interrupted by service in WWII, specifically he was in the Battle of the Bulge. So was my grandpa)
12) Thich Nhat Hanh 
13) MLK
14) Muhammad Ali
15) Marcus Aurelius
16) Hugh Jackman
17) F. Scott Fitzgerald
18) Dave Grohl
19) Bear Grylls
20) Ben Franklin

Honorable Mention: Fred Hoiberg (Go Cyclones!), Jack London, Jack Black, Ulysses S. Grant, Steve Nash, Theodore Roosevelt, Eliot Ness, George Washington, Thomas Merton, Joel Osteen, Michael Chabon, John S. Mosby (thank you Bruce Van Sloun for the book)

You should make a list too.

I've had about 500...

... visitors to the blog over the last couple days. That's cool, thank you. Megan would be proud. Recall her comment: "Why do you do it Dad, if you don't have any followers?" I still don't have any 'followers' but lately I've have had more readers, Meg! Rest assured I'm not making any money off the awkward dating-site ads Google is placing here. I feel special having ads though.

God paints in the sky at night and it's beautiful...

... who doesn't love a sunset, before and after, there's purple and orange in it, soft blues and grays. Megan paints too. I hope she never ever ever ever stops. Do Jackson Pollocks if nothin' else, man.

The nice thing about a blog...

... with bits about parenting, is that material is pretty ubiquitous in everyday life. More from Bear Grylls:

"I think the best way to parent is by example."
     — Bear Grylls

He said this in an interview before explaining a pic of himself doing pushups on a frozen lake naked (to generate bodily warmth while his clothes were shed and drying). And then a chat about how he skinned a dead, rotten seal to make a wetsuit (a stinking, bloody wetsuit). Okay. That's how my words and actions line up too sometimes.

#362

Awesome stuff. There's a lot of awesome stuff goin' on in the world. There's a lot of awesome stuff that went on before us. Awesome stuff. Funny, I think I wrote a poem. A bad one, but I tell M 'n' m there are no bad poems, there are words, art, creative expression, catharsis. Use them, and use more of your hours on the good. There's a lot of pain and tragedy too, past and present, and we shouldn't be ostriches or disrespect that, but I remind myself, sometimes, what Chicago-guy Billy Corgan said:

"The world is a vampire."

     — The Smashing Pumpkins

So stay in the sun. Maybe keep close a symbol of inspiration and blessedness to you? (You know, the cross, holy water thing....)

The 24-hour news cycle is a tyrant. Scary, shocking, sensational. I try not to be its peasant.

The world can be tough and dangerous. But we have art. And it doesn't have to be pretty.

"And yet, paradoxically, in the very act of exposing the abiding instability of existence, art moors us to a sense of the eternal and becalms our momentary tumults against the raging ocean that has always washed, and will always wash, the shoreline of the human spirit."

     — Maria Popova