"I'm concentrating very much on my role as a father. I'm a new father and I take my duties and responsibilities to my family very seriously and I want to bring my children up as good people with the idea of service and duty to others as very important. But if I can't give my time to my children as well, I worry about their future."
— Prince William, 2016, criticized for uncompromisingly seeking a secluded, 'normal' life for his young family out of the public eye
"You need a strong, unified family base to allow you to have courage to go out there and take risks you probably wouldn't have taken without that strong foundation to fall back on."
— L.L. Cool J
"Every time I take a shower, I turn off the hot water after I'm all cleaned up, and let it run cold. Standing under cold water for 10 minutes releases my mind from everything – good and bad. It gives me a mental break and lets my body deal with the state of discomfort. It also reminds me of the life I left behind and that I can make it through anything."
— Marcus Lutrell, former SEAL and author of Lone Survivor
"About 12 years ago, I was running a lot and feeling the wear and tear on my knees, so I decided to try yoga. It was the answer.... It tones my body, soothes my stress, and gives me energy. My creativity and focus came back and it changes my whole spirit."
— Tommy Hilfiger
"My Andes experience taught me not to lie. There was no sense in lying when we were so close to death. At home my children were born with the story. When my son, Hilario, was four years old, he was asked, 'Did you know that your daddy ate his friends.' My son answered in a very natural way, 'Yes, come along and I'll tell you what happened.'"
— Dr. Roberto Canessa
"All I knew then was what I wasn't, and it took me years to discover what I was. Which was a writer. By which I mean not a 'good' writer or a 'bad' writer but simply a writer, a person whose most absorbed and passionate hours are spent arranging words on pieces of paper."
— Joan Didion
"You have to build habits that keep your energy high. This is my formula: (1) Vigorous exercise: When I have a great workout, I rarely have a bad day. (2) Good fuel: When I eat clean, my energy rarely sags. (3) Good partners: Working with positive people keeps your spirits up. (4) Balance: I pray and I also laugh a lot. You won't have focus without balance. (5) A goal: A worthy challenge will take care of your motivation for you."
— Eric Greitens, former SEAL, author, and current Governor of Missouri
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer everybody else up."
— Mark Twain
"Imagine enjoying a courtside seat at a game, studying in a classroom of students and teachers all over the world, or consulting with a doctor face-to-face – just by putting on goggles in your home. Virtual reality was once a dream of science fiction. But the internet was also once a dream, and so were computers and smartphones."
— Mark Zuckerberg
"I think it was important for me both in the (foreign) films I was watching and in the travel I was doing to see, despite the distances, how similar we all are in some ways. And I don't mean that to eradicate the differences because I think our uniqueness is special too, but it's nice to know that we're all wrestling with life and consciousness. I think when you travel, you get that in a very visceral way.... I'm a storyteller. I'm a storyteller while always trying to become a better man, you know? That's who I am."
— Barry Jenkins, writer and director of Moonlight which won the Oscar for Best Picture
"If it was easy, everyone would do it. You have to be a little bit crazy; you have to have gumption and tenacity. A lot of people give up at the first roadblock. But, for entrepreneurs, if there isn't another road, we create it. We break concrete; we throw dynamite; we figure it out."
— Jessica Alba, actress and businesswoman
"Obama... noted at one point that even in the nation's darkest moments he gains strength – and perspective – by tapping into an abiding sense of optimism. It is a heartening notion in an era of blaring headlines, instant analysis, and perishable soundbites."
— Vanity Fair magazine
"I try to be a realistic optimist: I'm very clinical about where we are today, but extremely optimistic about what we're going to get done in the future."
— Ben Silbermann, co-founder and CEO of Pinterest
"They say that in your 20s you're trying to work out the man
that you want to be, and in your 30s you discover who he is. And warped
and all, beer gut and all, brain damage and all, you just kind of go,
'Well, this is it, and I might as well try to polish it a tiny bit.' I'm
stuck with who I am, but I can be man enough to iron out the creases."
— Sam Worthington, actor
"If I'm given a negative view, then I'll take that and work harder. You just have to get through anything that's irrelevant or a personal attack, and you might find the gold nugget that can take you to the next level and closer to what you want to achieve in life.... Naomi Watts says it took her 10 years to become an 'overnight success.' And what about Geoffrey Rush? He was almost 50 when Shine hit."
— Sam Worthington
"The sort of life that I had had previous to this popular success was one that required endurance, a life of clawing and scratching along a sheer surface and holding on tight with raw fingers to every inch of rock higher than the one caught hold of before, but it was a good life because it was the sort of life for which the human organism is created."
— Tennessee Williams
"Purity of heart is the one success worth having."
— Tennessee Williams
"'Every day I wake up and there's a barn owl in my bed,' he says. Fortunately, (Simon) Rouse's girlfriend doesn't mind. Nor does she mind the the kestrel (a kind of falcon) flying around the living room, or the 30 birds – all of which are capable of snapping the neck of a rabbit or even a fox – living in cages outside his home. Sure, there are aviaries for birds like this. Rouse just prefers the roommate situation. 'To me, it's normal,' he says. 'But to everyone else, I suppose I'm kind of a freak.'"
— Men's Health magazine
"It's so tempting... to retreat to narrow arrogance, pre-formed positions, rigid filters, the 'moral clarity' of the immature. The alternative is dealing with massive, high-entropy amounts of info and ambiquity and conflict and flux; it's continually discovering new areas of personal ignorance and delusion. In sum, to really try to be informed and literate today is to feel stupid nearly all the time, and to need help. That's about as clearly as I can put it."
— David Foster Wallace
"If my career had turned out like the fantasy I had of what it was going to be, it would never have made me happy. But I couldn't have known that until it didn't happen. I found a success that is so much bigger and deeper and better, and it's because it happened later. If any of what I'm having happen now – the successes – would have happened to me when I was younger, I would have been ruined. Because when you're young, and things comes super easily to you, and you have successes right out of the gate, you're liable to think that's how it actually works. You start to think you don't need to be fully prepared or committed to have these things meet you.... I muscled a lot of what I've achieved by sheer force of will and relentless determination. And I wasn't hearing a lot of 'Everything's going to be fine.'"
— Sarah Paulson, actress
"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear."
— Thomas Jefferson
"Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience."
— Thomas Jefferson
"Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder."
— Thomas Jefferson
"We're all dying, but if you're not chasing your dream, you're already dead."
— Steve Mazan, who is still alive despite being told 12 years ago that he had inoperable liver cancer and less than five years to live
"The part came very easily for me – which doesn't say much for my mental health."
— Anthony Hopkins on his role as Hannibal Lector
"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very happy to be anywhere.... I can't afford to die. I'm booked. I'd lose a fortune.... I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.... I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it."
— Comedian George Burns who lived to be 100 and continued to work until his death
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest
of my life.... Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples....
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can
fake that, you've got it made.... I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.... I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.... In those days, the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it."
— George Burns
Friday, December 29, 2017
Friday, December 22, 2017
#385
Megan's basketball bag was stinky last night. That's awesome! A sure sign someone's an athlete and competitor: stinky gym clothes wadded in a duffel with shoes – that aren't roses either – and water bottles, ponytail holders, and so on. I love Megan!
I realize her stinky clothes may reflect poorly on me, as I am Megan's laundryman. But don't worry, I'll wash them. At least once, like mid-season. Kidding.
A word on the word 'competitor' which I used above: Competitors, of course, aren't just those who oppose other people, other teams. Competing with oneself, the person you were yesterday, the athlete / worker / artist you were yesterday, is competition too. It's the hardest kind, in fact; continuous improvement is a continuous challenge, the opposite of complacent, the farthest thing from lazy. It's definitely the most important kind of competition. Amen.
At the train station in Chicago, there's an area called the French Market. It's full of proprietors at counters selling a cornucopia of consumables. Michael likes to eat there (when he comes into the city with me), but I walk through just for the smells. There are inviting, interesting aromas of all kinds. We don't use our noses like most animals. Maybe we should. At the French Market I breath deeply and sniff donuts, baked goods, bread, cooked meats, cured meats, seafood, spices, ethnic foods, coffee, flowers. It's a feast for the nose and eyes, and the taste buds too if I stop and eat as I do with Michael. And sometimes they have live music so the ears aren't left out. Life can be rich if you take a second to consume it, in the moment, by observation, inhalation, whatever, take it in, say thanks, and then head off to work or catch your ride home. Amen. Again. Sorry. Very preachy today. Drank too much coffee.
M 'n' m both had orchestra concerts last week and they were fantastic. Michael's show featured some high school musicians who were truly brilliant, it seemed to me, in particular a violinist who was magnificent and flawless; I imagine it will cost money to see her play someday (the school concerts are free). And there was a young man who played the piano and then the viola in the highest of four levels of musicians. I was like, "Holy shit, wasn't that guy just playing the piano like Elton John, and now he's fiddling like 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia?'" That's special. Musicianship at its finest. Michael's in the second level of the four groups; not bad for a freshman. He learned the bass this year and performed with that; formerly he played only the cello. I love Michael! Megan is a cellist, and I suspect her adoration of her big brother played a part in her choice of instrument.
I realize her stinky clothes may reflect poorly on me, as I am Megan's laundryman. But don't worry, I'll wash them. At least once, like mid-season. Kidding.
A word on the word 'competitor' which I used above: Competitors, of course, aren't just those who oppose other people, other teams. Competing with oneself, the person you were yesterday, the athlete / worker / artist you were yesterday, is competition too. It's the hardest kind, in fact; continuous improvement is a continuous challenge, the opposite of complacent, the farthest thing from lazy. It's definitely the most important kind of competition. Amen.
At the train station in Chicago, there's an area called the French Market. It's full of proprietors at counters selling a cornucopia of consumables. Michael likes to eat there (when he comes into the city with me), but I walk through just for the smells. There are inviting, interesting aromas of all kinds. We don't use our noses like most animals. Maybe we should. At the French Market I breath deeply and sniff donuts, baked goods, bread, cooked meats, cured meats, seafood, spices, ethnic foods, coffee, flowers. It's a feast for the nose and eyes, and the taste buds too if I stop and eat as I do with Michael. And sometimes they have live music so the ears aren't left out. Life can be rich if you take a second to consume it, in the moment, by observation, inhalation, whatever, take it in, say thanks, and then head off to work or catch your ride home. Amen. Again. Sorry. Very preachy today. Drank too much coffee.
M 'n' m both had orchestra concerts last week and they were fantastic. Michael's show featured some high school musicians who were truly brilliant, it seemed to me, in particular a violinist who was magnificent and flawless; I imagine it will cost money to see her play someday (the school concerts are free). And there was a young man who played the piano and then the viola in the highest of four levels of musicians. I was like, "Holy shit, wasn't that guy just playing the piano like Elton John, and now he's fiddling like 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia?'" That's special. Musicianship at its finest. Michael's in the second level of the four groups; not bad for a freshman. He learned the bass this year and performed with that; formerly he played only the cello. I love Michael! Megan is a cellist, and I suspect her adoration of her big brother played a part in her choice of instrument.
Thursday, December 21, 2017
Stuff About Things #11
"I plan it so I finish skating and work before 3 PM. This way I can spend time with my kids. With my teenage boys, I can identify with the awkwardness, being less confident than you project, and the need for belonging. When I was that age, I had support for my skating, but I didn't have anyone campaigning for my personality. So I try to instill in them that they are funny and interesting, and to be curious about the world."
— Tony Hawk
"My Grandpa (Francis Ford Coppola) told me, 'Learn to love anxiety, because it never goes away in moviemaking.' ... (My new movie) is about the growing pains of being young - discovering who you are, realizing your parents are flawed human beings, realizing that life gets more complex, and not less, as you get older."
— Gia Coppola"
Relax. No one else knows what they're doing either."
— Ricky Gervais
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work."
— Thomas Edison
"Ten days before he became so famous that crowds would form around any building that contained him and waiters would fight over a corncob left on his dinner plate, no one had heard of Charles Lindbergh. The New York Times had mentioned him once, in the context of the coming Atlantic flights. It had misspelled his name."
— Bill Bryson, One Summer: America, 1927
"Luck lives in the city. Luck don’t live out here. You understand? ... Wolves don't kill unlucky deer. They kill the weak ones."
— Cory Lambert (played by Jeremy Renner) in Wind River
"I write every day. There's nothing like a well-structured sentence to make you feel like everything is right with the world."
— Makenzie Leigh
It's a mystery I've never solved: What is it that drives me to perform when I can hardly hold my own at a dinner party.... (If forced to choose between rock and writing) I wouldn't hesitate, I couldn't live without writing."
— Patti Smith
Knowledge will give you power, but character will give you respect."
— Bruce Lee
"Laughter and Hitchens were inseparable companions, and comedy was one of the most powerful weapons in his arsenal.... (He was) the most indefatigable of allies and the most eloquent of defenders."
— Salmon Rushdie on his friend Christopher Hitchens
"It could be argued that those who seek to make themselves over into a finer state of health and physique and fitness should not put off the job until they are in their 59th summer. As against that comes the piercing realization that, if you have actually made it this far and want to continue featuring in the great soap opera of your own existence, you had better take some swift remedial steps. It was all summed up quite neatly by whoever first said that if he'd known he was going to live this long he'd have taken better care of himself."
— Christopher Hitchens
"Accept the seasons of your heart."
— Kahlil Gibran
"Outer world follows inner world."
— Peter Sage
"Let you religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair."
— G. K. Chesterton
"Bad style doesn't discriminate. What it does do, kind of like coke-snorting and clubbing, is get much, much less cute as you age. When you're young and you dress too trendy, you look like a schmuck. When you're old and you dress too trendy, you look like an even bigger schmuck."
— Details magazine
"I love elections. It's so much fun. It's even more fun when you're not on the ballot."
— Barack Obama, saying so wryly
"I relish risk. Risk is extra life."
— Jeremy Irons
"The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."
— Sarah Elizabeth Lewis
"If something didn't capture my attention, I was beyond useless. If it did, my focus was unbreakable.... I improved very quickly because of my ability to focus on one thing that fascinated me.... I don't live one day at a time, I live 20 minutes at a time. It drives my wife Anita crazy because I can't think of what I'm doing tomorrow."
— David Feherty
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
— Louis L'Amour
"I'm always working to find the balance between the ideal and the practical, and that's why I like this advice from Steve Jobs: 'Realize that sometimes best is the enemy of better. Sometimes I go for best when I should go for better, and end up going nowhere.'"
— Jack Dorsey
"You may not be an eternal optimist, but you're probably not a natural naysayer either. You just need to build your optimism muscles. Each week, pick one part of your life - career, relationships - and envision the next decade if all goes well. This exercise can improve your whole-life outlook, say scientists from the University of California at Riverside."
— Men's Health magazine
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."
— Kahlil Gibran
"Without suffering, no beauty."
— French saying
— Tony Hawk
"My Grandpa (Francis Ford Coppola) told me, 'Learn to love anxiety, because it never goes away in moviemaking.' ... (My new movie) is about the growing pains of being young - discovering who you are, realizing your parents are flawed human beings, realizing that life gets more complex, and not less, as you get older."
— Gia Coppola"
Relax. No one else knows what they're doing either."
— Ricky Gervais
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work."
— Thomas Edison
"Ten days before he became so famous that crowds would form around any building that contained him and waiters would fight over a corncob left on his dinner plate, no one had heard of Charles Lindbergh. The New York Times had mentioned him once, in the context of the coming Atlantic flights. It had misspelled his name."
— Bill Bryson, One Summer: America, 1927
"Luck lives in the city. Luck don’t live out here. You understand? ... Wolves don't kill unlucky deer. They kill the weak ones."
— Cory Lambert (played by Jeremy Renner) in Wind River
"I write every day. There's nothing like a well-structured sentence to make you feel like everything is right with the world."
— Makenzie Leigh
It's a mystery I've never solved: What is it that drives me to perform when I can hardly hold my own at a dinner party.... (If forced to choose between rock and writing) I wouldn't hesitate, I couldn't live without writing."
— Patti Smith
Knowledge will give you power, but character will give you respect."
— Bruce Lee
"Laughter and Hitchens were inseparable companions, and comedy was one of the most powerful weapons in his arsenal.... (He was) the most indefatigable of allies and the most eloquent of defenders."
— Salmon Rushdie on his friend Christopher Hitchens
"It could be argued that those who seek to make themselves over into a finer state of health and physique and fitness should not put off the job until they are in their 59th summer. As against that comes the piercing realization that, if you have actually made it this far and want to continue featuring in the great soap opera of your own existence, you had better take some swift remedial steps. It was all summed up quite neatly by whoever first said that if he'd known he was going to live this long he'd have taken better care of himself."
— Christopher Hitchens
"Accept the seasons of your heart."
— Kahlil Gibran
"Outer world follows inner world."
— Peter Sage
"Let you religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair."
— G. K. Chesterton
"Bad style doesn't discriminate. What it does do, kind of like coke-snorting and clubbing, is get much, much less cute as you age. When you're young and you dress too trendy, you look like a schmuck. When you're old and you dress too trendy, you look like an even bigger schmuck."
— Details magazine
"I love elections. It's so much fun. It's even more fun when you're not on the ballot."
— Barack Obama, saying so wryly
"I relish risk. Risk is extra life."
— Jeremy Irons
"The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."
— Sarah Elizabeth Lewis
"If something didn't capture my attention, I was beyond useless. If it did, my focus was unbreakable.... I improved very quickly because of my ability to focus on one thing that fascinated me.... I don't live one day at a time, I live 20 minutes at a time. It drives my wife Anita crazy because I can't think of what I'm doing tomorrow."
— David Feherty
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
— Louis L'Amour
"I'm always working to find the balance between the ideal and the practical, and that's why I like this advice from Steve Jobs: 'Realize that sometimes best is the enemy of better. Sometimes I go for best when I should go for better, and end up going nowhere.'"
— Jack Dorsey
"You may not be an eternal optimist, but you're probably not a natural naysayer either. You just need to build your optimism muscles. Each week, pick one part of your life - career, relationships - and envision the next decade if all goes well. This exercise can improve your whole-life outlook, say scientists from the University of California at Riverside."
— Men's Health magazine
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."
— Kahlil Gibran
"Without suffering, no beauty."
— French saying
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
Lenny Kravitz and the first validation not from his parents...
... which means his parents gave him A LOT of validation to help him arrive at this impressive 'second' validating moment. It's an important job we have as parents to inspire, reassure, and validate. I guess even rock stars can flower into full bloom under parental support. I just never thought of parents as helpful to rockstardom.
"I was playing in Switzerland and after the show there was a knock on my door. I said, 'Who is it?' A voice said, 'Yoko Ono.' And I was like, 'Yeah right.' I'm thinking somebody's playing with me: 'Go away.' Another knock. 'Who is it?' 'Yoko Ono.' I think I said something crude, to leave me alone. Finally, they knocked again, and I opened it because I was curious to see who was pulling this gag on me. There was Yoko Ono, standing at my door. I'm a huge John Lennon fan. My first album had a lot of his influence because I was so into the Plastic Ono Band at that time. So Yoko came in and was telling me how much she enjoyed my music. Then she told me, 'John would've really liked your album. The way you sing, that's the kind of voice he wanted to sing with.' I was blown away. I couldn't believe that this woman was telling me this. Then we began a friendship and I played at a John Lennon tribute concert in Liverpool in 1990. It was unexpected validation - the first thing I can remember in my career that was not from my parents."
— Lenny Kravitz
"I was playing in Switzerland and after the show there was a knock on my door. I said, 'Who is it?' A voice said, 'Yoko Ono.' And I was like, 'Yeah right.' I'm thinking somebody's playing with me: 'Go away.' Another knock. 'Who is it?' 'Yoko Ono.' I think I said something crude, to leave me alone. Finally, they knocked again, and I opened it because I was curious to see who was pulling this gag on me. There was Yoko Ono, standing at my door. I'm a huge John Lennon fan. My first album had a lot of his influence because I was so into the Plastic Ono Band at that time. So Yoko came in and was telling me how much she enjoyed my music. Then she told me, 'John would've really liked your album. The way you sing, that's the kind of voice he wanted to sing with.' I was blown away. I couldn't believe that this woman was telling me this. Then we began a friendship and I played at a John Lennon tribute concert in Liverpool in 1990. It was unexpected validation - the first thing I can remember in my career that was not from my parents."
— Lenny Kravitz
Monday, December 18, 2017
On Bill Russell, a giant
"I love the interviews that I learn from. (For example) I adore Bill Russell. Segregation was never a problem for him – if you don't want to see me play, that's fine. I'm outta here. He had a dignity and an aura about him that I only experienced one other time – when I shook hands with Nelson Mandela. It wouldn't have mattered what era Bill Russell had been born in; he would have been a giant at whatever he did."
— David Feherty
"He was born in 1934 to poor parents in Louisiana, the Jim Crow South. He became the first African-American superstar in basketball. Before he was drafted by the Celtics, he led San Francisco University to two NCAA championships (San Francisco was his first and only scholarship offer). He also won a gold medal in 1956. He quickly became the centerpiece of the Celtics’ dynasty in the late '50s and '60s. He was the NBA’s MVP five times and an All-Star 12 times in 13 seasons. He and his rival Wilt Chamberlain are the only players to get more than 50 rebounds in a game. Russell’s intensity was unrelenting, as were his expectations of his teammates. He would get so worked up before games that he would vomit. The sound reassured his teammates. Havlicek called it 'a tremendous sound, almost as loud as his laugh.' And, said Havlicek, 'It’s a welcome sound, too, because it means he’s keyed up for the game and around the locker room we'd grin and say, man, we’re gonna be all right tonight.'"
— New England Historical Society
"The most successful television is done in eight-second thoughts, and the things I know about basketball, motivation, and people go deeper than that."
— Bill Russell, who did some broadcasting/commentating but didn't like it and didn't continue
"If your kids experience kindness growing up, they will know how it feels. A lot of people equate kindness with weakness. But true kindness is an act of strength."
— Bill Russell
(For his philanthropic accomplishments in Civil Rights and mentoring young people, President Obama awarded Bill Russell the Presidential Medal of Freedom.) "'Is this the greatest personal honor in his life?' (He was asked.) 'A close second,' Russell replied. Umm, what’s first? 'When he was about 77, my father and I were talking,' Russell answered. 'And he said: You know, you're all grown up now, and I want to tell you something. You know, I am very proud of the way you turned out as my son, and I'm proud of you as a father.' 'My father is my hero, okay, and I cannot perceive of anything topping that.'"
— The New York Times
— David Feherty
"He was born in 1934 to poor parents in Louisiana, the Jim Crow South. He became the first African-American superstar in basketball. Before he was drafted by the Celtics, he led San Francisco University to two NCAA championships (San Francisco was his first and only scholarship offer). He also won a gold medal in 1956. He quickly became the centerpiece of the Celtics’ dynasty in the late '50s and '60s. He was the NBA’s MVP five times and an All-Star 12 times in 13 seasons. He and his rival Wilt Chamberlain are the only players to get more than 50 rebounds in a game. Russell’s intensity was unrelenting, as were his expectations of his teammates. He would get so worked up before games that he would vomit. The sound reassured his teammates. Havlicek called it 'a tremendous sound, almost as loud as his laugh.' And, said Havlicek, 'It’s a welcome sound, too, because it means he’s keyed up for the game and around the locker room we'd grin and say, man, we’re gonna be all right tonight.'"
— New England Historical Society
"The most successful television is done in eight-second thoughts, and the things I know about basketball, motivation, and people go deeper than that."
— Bill Russell, who did some broadcasting/commentating but didn't like it and didn't continue
"If your kids experience kindness growing up, they will know how it feels. A lot of people equate kindness with weakness. But true kindness is an act of strength."
— Bill Russell
(For his philanthropic accomplishments in Civil Rights and mentoring young people, President Obama awarded Bill Russell the Presidential Medal of Freedom.) "'Is this the greatest personal honor in his life?' (He was asked.) 'A close second,' Russell replied. Umm, what’s first? 'When he was about 77, my father and I were talking,' Russell answered. 'And he said: You know, you're all grown up now, and I want to tell you something. You know, I am very proud of the way you turned out as my son, and I'm proud of you as a father.' 'My father is my hero, okay, and I cannot perceive of anything topping that.'"
— The New York Times
Friday, December 15, 2017
#384
Megan had about 8 inches of her hair cut off. I didn't notice but several of her basketball teammates did. "You got your hair cut! It looks great!" they told her cheerfully. "I didn't notice," I said. "Of course you didn't," they said. I love Megan, her hair, and her basketball team. Her teammates are great supporters of each other, friends, competitors, little comedians sometimes, winners, sweet, smart, very tough; I'm grateful Megan is a part of it all. Indeed, the girls play hard and occasionally collide, bump, knock each other down. But it's never dirty (like Duke's Grayson Allen, for example, who trips everyone in frustration). So on Sunday when an opponent ended up on the floor and the other coach stormed out and glared at our team, I took heightened interest; it seemed like he wanted to snap at our girls. I felt myself begging him to do so. Which is wrong of me, of course. I can be conflict-averse, passive-aggressive, and just plain wimpy, but there at times when this is not the case, when I feel free and right and completely oblivious to everyone except the person I think is behaving badly. Or about to. The other coach looked down and mumbled something we couldn't hear. Good. I would've thrown some energy at him otherwise, only verbally obviously, but enough to embarrass myself and accomplish little else. But I wouldn't have cared; it's very liberating to be single-minded like that. "You talk to your team. You do NOT talk to our team. Ever. Out of anger, anyway. No one will make our girls feel bad for playing hard and competing fairly. They are respectful and good-hearted; I know this about every one of them. Coach Mike and I witness this over and over again, as do all the other families; we've spent many hours together. It's really a special group. There are ornery kids in the world, some with only a speck (but a measurable speck nonetheless) and I have known and coached a few of this sort, and found it interesting, challenging, even enjoyable (being around, and trying to steer and focus, all types of competitors). And I can tell you exactly none of Megan's teammates have a mean streak (or speck). Megan, on the other hand.... ah, not true, she is one of the least aggressive; she's a million miles from ornery on the court; maybe she should be a smidge closer, in fact?
The instinct to protect and defend someone else is a fascinating one to me. Evolution may explain why we do so for our offspring, but what about for friends? When no harm to ourselves is impending, but we put ourselves in jeopardy for a friend... what is the force behind this, the scientific force or explanation? Is it 'the preservation of social structures inside which members can more optimally survive and thrive?' That sounds like bullshit because it is; I just made it up. But we are social beings. Even so, it doesn't sound very Darwinian to risk big for a friend. It's something finer. For some people it's a job to risk and serve (armed forces, police, fire, education professionals, those in charities, non-profits, some churches) and I'm grateful. It's impressive when dedication and sacrifice are on full display in someone who isn't a mama grizzly bear with two cubs behind her.
Yes, grizzlies are the quintessential protective parents. Yes, it is only the moms. (Bear dads are deadbeats and dangerous but let's not examine that as metaphor or any kind of common, cross-species trait, thank you very much.) Grizzly mamas are enormous, fierce, and aggressive when it comes to keeping babies safe. This is common knowledge. This is awesome. Every parent not only understands, but admires, the grizzly mom who will unhesitatingly deploy a massive paw, bristling with claws like a morning star, to scalp, de-limb, slice to ribbons, or otherwise deter any creature that threatens her cubs. Her message is clear: Don't do it. Don't even think about it. Thankfully, we aren't wolves or mountain lions that – because they're either very brave or very starving – will sometimes attempt to take a cub, and sometimes succeed, despite unfavorable odds and horrible, bloody risk. As for humans, according to research, seventy percent of human deaths caused by grizzly bears are related to mothers protecting cubs. Oh, and the mothers also teach the cubs everything, feed and care for them, hang out and play with them, snuggle them.... Hey dad bears, WTF?!
The instinct to protect and defend someone else is a fascinating one to me. Evolution may explain why we do so for our offspring, but what about for friends? When no harm to ourselves is impending, but we put ourselves in jeopardy for a friend... what is the force behind this, the scientific force or explanation? Is it 'the preservation of social structures inside which members can more optimally survive and thrive?' That sounds like bullshit because it is; I just made it up. But we are social beings. Even so, it doesn't sound very Darwinian to risk big for a friend. It's something finer. For some people it's a job to risk and serve (armed forces, police, fire, education professionals, those in charities, non-profits, some churches) and I'm grateful. It's impressive when dedication and sacrifice are on full display in someone who isn't a mama grizzly bear with two cubs behind her.
Yes, grizzlies are the quintessential protective parents. Yes, it is only the moms. (Bear dads are deadbeats and dangerous but let's not examine that as metaphor or any kind of common, cross-species trait, thank you very much.) Grizzly mamas are enormous, fierce, and aggressive when it comes to keeping babies safe. This is common knowledge. This is awesome. Every parent not only understands, but admires, the grizzly mom who will unhesitatingly deploy a massive paw, bristling with claws like a morning star, to scalp, de-limb, slice to ribbons, or otherwise deter any creature that threatens her cubs. Her message is clear: Don't do it. Don't even think about it. Thankfully, we aren't wolves or mountain lions that – because they're either very brave or very starving – will sometimes attempt to take a cub, and sometimes succeed, despite unfavorable odds and horrible, bloody risk. As for humans, according to research, seventy percent of human deaths caused by grizzly bears are related to mothers protecting cubs. Oh, and the mothers also teach the cubs everything, feed and care for them, hang out and play with them, snuggle them.... Hey dad bears, WTF?!
Thursday, December 7, 2017
The most important things... and don't wait to write some of it down...
"People say, 'Man, you must have some amazing realizations about
life.' It's funny, but what I learned from my injury was something I
already knew: Family and relationships are the most important things,
not what kind of job you have or the car you drive."
— Jim Kane, who recovered from a traumatic brain injury in a car accident that initially left him unable to walk and talk
"I came home to a pale and elegant body in an open coffin, her thin hands crossed on her breast.... A million sights and sounds rang through my head as I stared down at her. I thought about the times when I was a little boy, no more than five, when she would let me sleep at the foot of her bed so we could listen to her Philco, how I drifted off to sleep with the tinny voices.... She told me she saw Hank Williams once, back before he died. But she was flying pretty high on her medicine that night and might have told a lie, since she felt that another benefit of old age (in addition to playing your radio all night long if you want to) was that it gave you license to lie (with a smile).... But it was then, as that dead man's poetry ran through my mind, as I stared down at that old woman I had seen for just a few hours a year on Thanksgiving and Christmas because I wrongly believed I was doing more important things, that I knew I should not wait any longer to write some of this down, whether anyone ever read it or not."
— Rick Bragg, All Over but the Shoutin'
— Jim Kane, who recovered from a traumatic brain injury in a car accident that initially left him unable to walk and talk
"I came home to a pale and elegant body in an open coffin, her thin hands crossed on her breast.... A million sights and sounds rang through my head as I stared down at her. I thought about the times when I was a little boy, no more than five, when she would let me sleep at the foot of her bed so we could listen to her Philco, how I drifted off to sleep with the tinny voices.... She told me she saw Hank Williams once, back before he died. But she was flying pretty high on her medicine that night and might have told a lie, since she felt that another benefit of old age (in addition to playing your radio all night long if you want to) was that it gave you license to lie (with a smile).... But it was then, as that dead man's poetry ran through my mind, as I stared down at that old woman I had seen for just a few hours a year on Thanksgiving and Christmas because I wrongly believed I was doing more important things, that I knew I should not wait any longer to write some of this down, whether anyone ever read it or not."
— Rick Bragg, All Over but the Shoutin'
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Saturday, December 2, 2017
#383
I would rather grocery shop with M 'n' m than by myself, but I get annoyed when they grab pricey stuff, like the boutique-y brand when the same thing on the shelf below is half the price. It's packaged differently – and on 'Red Alert Savings!' – but it's familiar, it's not generic usually; yeah, I mean recognizable brands overshadowed by alternatives that are organic, vegan, imported, not imported, small batch, family owned, eco-friendly, 'as seen on Shark Tank,' 'all profits go to charity,' whatever, and that's terrific, but I won't buy breakfast bars at eight bucks a box. Then I checkout and... "Would you like to donate a dollar today to children in need?" Ah geez, what kind of supreme asshole says no to that? Well, I do. Sometimes.
I want M 'n' m to be good at something that I, for one, am pretty shitty at. Parenting without hypocrisy, by the way, isn't parenting; they need a parent, not a buddy. And I forget this everyday and act like a buddy. God help me. And forgive me. And God help M 'n' m. Anyway, this is what I want: I want M n m, if they decide not to think about something, to be good at not thinking about it. Sounds simple, right? Well, I suck at it. Obsessive-compulsiveness runs in our family, and probably ADHD, and I'm pretty sure they run in every family now; we are over-stimulated by media that's relentless, ever-present, and often negative. It's more important than ever to block out distraction and limit unhelpful thoughts. We know when our thoughts become self-defeating and cynical in a way that doesn't serve us. But we let 'em get that way, and carry on, especially when things go sideways and we need their help the most. If I could imbue M 'n' m with one skill, it would be the ability to control and steer thoughts. Keep it positive, yo!
"You can't go from mentally broken to mentally fierce. You build it, you build it, you build it. There are a lot of ways to build it. Self-talk, seeing things in a different light, reading biographies of people who had a hard time in life and made it, hearing the stories of other people who had the same problems as you do and made it.... Anytime you have a negative thought, just crush it, destroy it, obliterate it." — YouTube motivation video
I want M 'n' m to consider another idea... the idea that just being human... just being a human being... is extraordinary. It's remarkable. There's nothing else like it in the universe (that we know of, yet). The human body, the human mind, the world... it's all pretty amazing. You don't even need to be on drugs to think so, man – you know, hallucinogenic, psychedelic, bliss-inducing shit. (I'm trying to be clever. I shouldn't do that.) What I mean is: being impressed with your hands, eyes, voice, mind, what it means to be human, what it takes to be human (it's not easy) and all the things accomplished and created by human beings, and expressing this wonder and appreciation, is far from ridiculous. It sounds a little silly and trite, but it isn't; it's fucking impressive! So there. I know that 7.6 billion people exist today (I just googled it) but that doesn't make us boring, common, unimpressive. On the contrary. (Although I love this headline from The Onion: Miracle of Birth Occurs For 83 Billionth Time.) Regardless, I think every person has the potential to astonish the rest of us, and many will. I agree with Ken Burns, the master documentarian, filmmaker, observer of history and humanity: "You begin to realize there are no ordinary people. That's one of the great lessons of 40 years of doing this history business." We're extraordinary. Every on of us. Amen.
I want M 'n' m to be good at something that I, for one, am pretty shitty at. Parenting without hypocrisy, by the way, isn't parenting; they need a parent, not a buddy. And I forget this everyday and act like a buddy. God help me. And forgive me. And God help M 'n' m. Anyway, this is what I want: I want M n m, if they decide not to think about something, to be good at not thinking about it. Sounds simple, right? Well, I suck at it. Obsessive-compulsiveness runs in our family, and probably ADHD, and I'm pretty sure they run in every family now; we are over-stimulated by media that's relentless, ever-present, and often negative. It's more important than ever to block out distraction and limit unhelpful thoughts. We know when our thoughts become self-defeating and cynical in a way that doesn't serve us. But we let 'em get that way, and carry on, especially when things go sideways and we need their help the most. If I could imbue M 'n' m with one skill, it would be the ability to control and steer thoughts. Keep it positive, yo!
"You can't go from mentally broken to mentally fierce. You build it, you build it, you build it. There are a lot of ways to build it. Self-talk, seeing things in a different light, reading biographies of people who had a hard time in life and made it, hearing the stories of other people who had the same problems as you do and made it.... Anytime you have a negative thought, just crush it, destroy it, obliterate it." — YouTube motivation video
I want M 'n' m to consider another idea... the idea that just being human... just being a human being... is extraordinary. It's remarkable. There's nothing else like it in the universe (that we know of, yet). The human body, the human mind, the world... it's all pretty amazing. You don't even need to be on drugs to think so, man – you know, hallucinogenic, psychedelic, bliss-inducing shit. (I'm trying to be clever. I shouldn't do that.) What I mean is: being impressed with your hands, eyes, voice, mind, what it means to be human, what it takes to be human (it's not easy) and all the things accomplished and created by human beings, and expressing this wonder and appreciation, is far from ridiculous. It sounds a little silly and trite, but it isn't; it's fucking impressive! So there. I know that 7.6 billion people exist today (I just googled it) but that doesn't make us boring, common, unimpressive. On the contrary. (Although I love this headline from The Onion: Miracle of Birth Occurs For 83 Billionth Time.) Regardless, I think every person has the potential to astonish the rest of us, and many will. I agree with Ken Burns, the master documentarian, filmmaker, observer of history and humanity: "You begin to realize there are no ordinary people. That's one of the great lessons of 40 years of doing this history business." We're extraordinary. Every on of us. Amen.
Friday, December 1, 2017
Stuff About Things #10
"It's funny – we didn't get along that well at first. He was the
coolest guy around. Everybody thought so. I'm a skeptic. I kept asking
myself, 'What's so cool about this guy?' But he was so not full
of himself. You just knew he had this big heart, and there was room in
there for the whole universe. Then I started listening to him play, to
the songs, how they were little dramas. And it started working on me. It
was so organic, the way our relationship developed.... His ideas would
spill over one another like a flood. And he would pop out notes like
rivets, each perfectly formed. I can't tell you how hard that is, to be
that consistent at that speed."
— Phil Lesh talking about Jerry Garcia
"People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily."
— Zig Ziglar
"What makes you enthusiastic? Find what makes you enthusiastic and you're at the highest level of human experience. The path to happiness is enthusiasm." — YouTube motivation video
"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements in life, when all we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about."
— Charles Kingsley
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
— Winston Churchill
"Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success.... Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful.... Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."
— Phil Lesh talking about Jerry Garcia
"It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart."
— Dalai Lama
"The heart that loves is always young."
"The heart that loves is always young."
— Unknown
"Now I just want to fly home between shows. I just like it: pruning trees, straightening lawn chairs and shit. And camera phones have made the world difficult to live in. I'm approachable and always up to take pictures, but it gets old.... You know, when I started, I liked Big Macs and Budweiser and I still like Big Macs and Budweiser.... If it sounds good, you'll hear it. If it looks good, you'll see it. If it's marketed right, you'll buy it. But if it's real... you'll feel it.... I always looked up to so many people before me and was lucky to become such good friends with them. I learned so much hanging out with those cats.... Surround yourself with good people. Whether they're the best or not, people are capable of learning if they've got good hearts and they're good souls."
— Kid Rock (I've been reading a bit about Kid Rock lately and it's interesting; he seems generous, genuine, refreshingly honest)
"Now I just want to fly home between shows. I just like it: pruning trees, straightening lawn chairs and shit. And camera phones have made the world difficult to live in. I'm approachable and always up to take pictures, but it gets old.... You know, when I started, I liked Big Macs and Budweiser and I still like Big Macs and Budweiser.... If it sounds good, you'll hear it. If it looks good, you'll see it. If it's marketed right, you'll buy it. But if it's real... you'll feel it.... I always looked up to so many people before me and was lucky to become such good friends with them. I learned so much hanging out with those cats.... Surround yourself with good people. Whether they're the best or not, people are capable of learning if they've got good hearts and they're good souls."
— Kid Rock (I've been reading a bit about Kid Rock lately and it's interesting; he seems generous, genuine, refreshingly honest)
"People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily."
— Zig Ziglar
"What makes you enthusiastic? Find what makes you enthusiastic and you're at the highest level of human experience. The path to happiness is enthusiasm." — YouTube motivation video
"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements in life, when all we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about."
— Charles Kingsley
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
— Winston Churchill
"Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success.... Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful.... Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
"To converse with Dwayne Johnson is to be immersed in the positive, a symphony of up notes. It is also to be flattered with questions." — Men's Journal magazine
"The core of Dwayne (Johnson) is his relentless drive, and that has never wavered... and his ability to be very coachable. He has no vulnerability in that way. Other people ask how was it, and they want to be told, you were great! He'll say no, really, let's break it down."
— Dany Garcia, Johnson's ex-wife and current business partner
"He wanted to know about what makes things funny. He's got a lot of humility, which is not a feature that usually gets you very far in show business. He's not a afraid of asking questions."
— Alan Arkin on Dwayne Johnson
"He never looks as if he is trying or posing. That's his secret. People in our business want to be perceived differently than they are. But you never get the sense he is trying to prove anything to anybody. Really, he is a good guy. Just a really good guy."
— Steve Carell on Dwayne Johnson
"At first I had to fight to be taken seriously in Hollywood. I understood I would have to do that."
— Dwayne Johnson
"Try not to become a man of success, but rather, try to become a man of value."
— Albert Einstein
"Life is too short to be small."
— Benjamin Disreali
"I think it's surprising for people (that neither of us are affiliated with a political party). Maybe it's the current climate, but our parents raised us to have our own opinions and emotions and be curious, independent thinkers." ... "People will say to us, 'Why are y'all so normal?' It's like, Thank you... I think."
— Barbara and Jenna Bush, former 'first daughters'
"To converse with Dwayne Johnson is to be immersed in the positive, a symphony of up notes. It is also to be flattered with questions." — Men's Journal magazine
"The core of Dwayne (Johnson) is his relentless drive, and that has never wavered... and his ability to be very coachable. He has no vulnerability in that way. Other people ask how was it, and they want to be told, you were great! He'll say no, really, let's break it down."
— Dany Garcia, Johnson's ex-wife and current business partner
"He wanted to know about what makes things funny. He's got a lot of humility, which is not a feature that usually gets you very far in show business. He's not a afraid of asking questions."
— Alan Arkin on Dwayne Johnson
"He never looks as if he is trying or posing. That's his secret. People in our business want to be perceived differently than they are. But you never get the sense he is trying to prove anything to anybody. Really, he is a good guy. Just a really good guy."
— Steve Carell on Dwayne Johnson
"At first I had to fight to be taken seriously in Hollywood. I understood I would have to do that."
— Dwayne Johnson
"Try not to become a man of success, but rather, try to become a man of value."
— Albert Einstein
"Life is too short to be small."
— Benjamin Disreali
"I think it's surprising for people (that neither of us are affiliated with a political party). Maybe it's the current climate, but our parents raised us to have our own opinions and emotions and be curious, independent thinkers." ... "People will say to us, 'Why are y'all so normal?' It's like, Thank you... I think."
— Barbara and Jenna Bush, former 'first daughters'
"The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude."
— Oprah Winfrey
"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
— Winston Churchill
"I grew up in America, a martial culture. We are Spartans, not Athenians. Jocks get trophies; nerds get wedgies. Our public spaces are named after generals, not scientists or composers. We love stories about people facing danger and fighting evil back-to-back, risking their lives and saving each other for a good cause. All this despite the fact that we're mostly a nation of shoppers. While our fighting's done for us by professionals, we participate in war the way couchbound sports fans do in the game.... The most truthful writers on the subject admit that war is both terrible and beautiful, calling forth not only brutality but the finest humanity - valor, loyalty, self-sacrifice, and kindness. 'Under fire, Animal Mother is one of the finest human beings in the world,' one soldier says of another in Full Metal Jacket: 'All he needs is someone to throw hand grenades at him the rest of his life.' ... (And regarding the politics of war) Michael Herr writes about the grunts' political views on Vietnam, for example, 'We all had roughly the same position on the war: We were in it, and that was a position.'"
— Tim Kreider, Men's Journal
"Nobody's a hero, nobody's a villain, we're all a little of both."
— Jeannette Walls
"I choose to run toward my problems, not away from them. Because that's what heroes do."
— Thor
"Everything in the universe is a pitcher brimming with wisdom and beauty."
— Rumi
"(Upon returning home to Hawaii after a trip or a show), the first thing I do - even before I walk into the house - is spend a half hour checking out my garden. I grow taro, spinach, kale, eggplants, peppers, and a lot of different herbs.... When we're recording, the band can pull plants and make a salad."
— Jack Johnson
"Now I just want to fly home between shows. I just like it: pruning trees, straightening lawn chairs and shit. And camera phones have made the world difficult to live in. I'm approachable and always up to take pictures, but it gets old."
— Kid Rock
"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
— Rumi
"Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much are the three pillars of learning."
— Benjamin Disreali
"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
— Will Durant
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."
— Aldous Huxley
"I grew up in America, a martial culture. We are Spartans, not Athenians. Jocks get trophies; nerds get wedgies. Our public spaces are named after generals, not scientists or composers. We love stories about people facing danger and fighting evil back-to-back, risking their lives and saving each other for a good cause. All this despite the fact that we're mostly a nation of shoppers. While our fighting's done for us by professionals, we participate in war the way couchbound sports fans do in the game.... The most truthful writers on the subject admit that war is both terrible and beautiful, calling forth not only brutality but the finest humanity - valor, loyalty, self-sacrifice, and kindness. 'Under fire, Animal Mother is one of the finest human beings in the world,' one soldier says of another in Full Metal Jacket: 'All he needs is someone to throw hand grenades at him the rest of his life.' ... (And regarding the politics of war) Michael Herr writes about the grunts' political views on Vietnam, for example, 'We all had roughly the same position on the war: We were in it, and that was a position.'"
— Tim Kreider, Men's Journal
"Nobody's a hero, nobody's a villain, we're all a little of both."
— Jeannette Walls
"I choose to run toward my problems, not away from them. Because that's what heroes do."
— Thor
"Everything in the universe is a pitcher brimming with wisdom and beauty."
— Rumi
"(Upon returning home to Hawaii after a trip or a show), the first thing I do - even before I walk into the house - is spend a half hour checking out my garden. I grow taro, spinach, kale, eggplants, peppers, and a lot of different herbs.... When we're recording, the band can pull plants and make a salad."
— Jack Johnson
"Now I just want to fly home between shows. I just like it: pruning trees, straightening lawn chairs and shit. And camera phones have made the world difficult to live in. I'm approachable and always up to take pictures, but it gets old."
— Kid Rock
"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
— Rumi
"Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much are the three pillars of learning."
— Benjamin Disreali
"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
— Will Durant
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."
— Aldous Huxley
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